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BIL vent

So, a few weeks ago DH told me that one of his Marine buddies was going to ask DH's brother to the USMC ball (it's not like THAT but it still is very weird) I thought it was very odd but didn't think it would happen and no way would I want DH's brother to tag along on our Vegas vacation and ball. Today as DH was buying tickets he informed that this friend had asked his brother and that they were going to the ball. NO NO NO. Normally I wouldn't really care who went to the ball, but with DH's brother, I like him sometimes when he acts normal, which is a rarity. But most of the time he is very immature, constantly cracking dumb jokes and acting like a 10 year old boy (not exagerrating) No one takes him seriously at all. Not to mention he doesn't have a job, has zero money and all he does is party party party, which to me is fine if you can support your habit, but he can't. Who is going to pay for everything?! It's Vegas, I know he is going to want to party, get wasted and who knows maybe get arrested again. I don't want us to be put in a position where we feel the need to buy him food all weekend or he'll go hungry. And it's just not about money, I was beyond annoyed during Friday's dinner when I had to sit at a table with him cause he was acting so incredibly dumb. I cannot be put through that for a whole weekend, especially what is supposed to be a fun weekend for us! I feel like at the end of this trip I will end up leaving him out in the desert for the crows to feast on him! Am I wrong that I do not want him to go? Should I just drop it? I feel like if he goes DH will be on babysitting duty all weekend cause he'll want to watch over his brother to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. I've never been to a ball so I don't know exactly what it's like but I just think it would be weird for him, he'll be the only guy who isn't in uniform. Not to mention he can't act appropriate when it is needed.

Re: BIL vent

  • Please tell me that the person who invited your BIL to the ball is a female Marine ... ;)
  • image MellsBells:
    Please tell me that the person who invited your BIL to the ball is a female Marine ... ;)

    No, I forgot to include that in there he is for sure not a female (atleast that I know of)

    which btw DH says it isn't weird for a guy to bring another guy as a date. I just don't believe that.

  • BBs, I know how you feel. J's brother is exactly the same way, when he visited us before J's EAS, he was wasted and partying all the time. It was so annoying.

    I would be annoyed at K if I were you, there's nothing wrong with wanting a weekend at the Bday Ball that doesn't include drunk BIL.

    ETA: I have seen guys bring guy friends to the ball before. 

    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • Your BIL will not be the only one not in a uniform. There will be a lot of men and even adult sons there not in uniform. It will only be awkard if you allow it to be. And needless to say your DH's friend invited BIL your DH did not! Thus he should be friend's responsibility and not your's and your DH's.

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  • image blondebunny:

    image MellsBells:
    Please tell me that the person who invited your BIL to the ball is a female Marine ... ;)

    No, I forgot to include that in there he is for sure not a female (atleast that I know of)

    which btw DH says it isn't weird for a guy to bring another guy as a date. I just don't believe that.

    Seems strange to me!

    ETA: if the "Marine Corps Ball" was called the "Marine Corps Beer Bash," it wouldn't seem weird. But how does one dude ask another dude to a ball? I'm cracking up imagining how that goes down. :D

  • image blondebunny:

    image MellsBells:
    Please tell me that the person who invited your BIL to the ball is a female Marine ... ;)

    No, I forgot to include that in there he is for sure not a female (atleast that I know of)

    which btw DH says it isn't weird for a guy to bring another guy as a date. I just don't believe that.

    It's not weird. A lot of DH's friend's brought guys with them that were in other groups who's ball was not the night of ours. And some of the female Marines will bring other females too.

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  • Seems a little odd to me too, but either way you're not wrong to not want him to go.  Try talking to your H again about it.  But if it turns out he's dead set on going, then I guess just make the best of it and try to not let him rule and/or ruin your night.  Sorry you have to deal with this  :(

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  • image WishIcouldbeinthe'stan:

    BBs, I know how you feel. J's brother is exactly the same way, when he visited us before J's EAS, he was wasted and partying all the time. It was so annoying.

    I would be annoyed at K if I were you, there's nothing wrong with wanting a weekend at the Bday Ball that doesn't include drunk BIL.

    ETA: I have seen guys bring guy friends to the ball before. 

    really? Okay well then I guess that makes it a little bit better.

     I'm more worried about annoying K because I don't want him to think I don't like his brother since I straight up told him I didn't want him to go. I don't want to feel like a control freak because if the guy wants to go to the ball well then I guess he can. I guess it's out of my hands.

  • image blondebunny:

    image MellsBells:
    Please tell me that the person who invited your BIL to the ball is a female Marine ... ;)

    No, I forgot to include that in there he is for sure not a female (atleast that I know of)

    which btw DH says it isn't weird for a guy to bring another guy as a date. I just don't believe that.

    lol There are no females in our H's btn. 

    I've heard of people bringing their dads and moms. Never another male friend, but I don't think he'll get a side eye... As long as he just stays quiet during the ceremony. 

  • image MellsBells:
    image blondebunny:

    image MellsBells:
    Please tell me that the person who invited your BIL to the ball is a female Marine ... ;)

    No, I forgot to include that in there he is for sure not a female (atleast that I know of)

    which btw DH says it isn't weird for a guy to bring another guy as a date. I just don't believe that.

    Seems strange to me!

    ETA: if the "Marine Corps Ball" was called the "Marine Corps Beer Bash," it wouldn't seem weird. But how does one dude ask another dude to a ball? I'm cracking up imagining how that goes down. :D

    I'm guessing it consisted of candles, flowers and a scavanger hunt to find the note of "will you be my date?"

    Actually, I really don't know. I'm scared to ask how this idea even came about!

  • image blondebunny:
    image WishIcouldbeinthe'stan:

    BBs, I know how you feel. J's brother is exactly the same way, when he visited us before J's EAS, he was wasted and partying all the time. It was so annoying.

    I would be annoyed at K if I were you, there's nothing wrong with wanting a weekend at the Bday Ball that doesn't include drunk BIL.

    ETA: I have seen guys bring guy friends to the ball before. 

    really? Okay well then I guess that makes it a little bit better.

     I'm more worried about annoying K because I don't want him to think I don't like his brother since I straight up told him I didn't want him to go. I don't want to feel like a control freak because if the guy wants to go to the ball well then I guess he can. I guess it's out of my hands.

    I don't like J's drunk brother, and J knows it. Devil I guess what bothers me about the situation is that I think after this deployment, you deserve to go to the ball sans his bro, and I don't get where K's friend got the idea to invite him, if not from K. 

    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • image Leah_Lou:
    image blondebunny:

    image MellsBells:
    Please tell me that the person who invited your BIL to the ball is a female Marine ... ;)

    No, I forgot to include that in there he is for sure not a female (atleast that I know of)

    which btw DH says it isn't weird for a guy to bring another guy as a date. I just don't believe that.

    lol There are no females in our H's btn. 

    I've heard of people bringing their dads and moms. Never another male friend, but I don't think he'll get a side eye... As long as he just stays quiet during the ceremony. 

    That's what I figured but wasn't positive.

    Do you know if it is assigned seating?

     

  • image blondebunny:
    image Leah_Lou:
    image blondebunny:

    image MellsBells:
    Please tell me that the person who invited your BIL to the ball is a female Marine ... ;)

    No, I forgot to include that in there he is for sure not a female (atleast that I know of)

    which btw DH says it isn't weird for a guy to bring another guy as a date. I just don't believe that.

    lol There are no females in our H's btn. 

    I've heard of people bringing their dads and moms. Never another male friend, but I don't think he'll get a side eye... As long as he just stays quiet during the ceremony. 

    That's what I figured but wasn't positive.

    Do you know if it is assigned seating?

     

    It's supposed to be. They haven't "assigned" tables yet for this year's ball.

    But last year, everyone just moved their name tags to where they wanted to sit. haha

  • image ErikandAfton:

    Your BIL will not be the only one not in a uniform. There will be a lot of men and even adult sons there not in uniform. It will only be awkard if you allow it to be. And needless to say your DH's friend invited BIL your DH did not! Thus he should be friend's responsibility and not your's and your DH's.

    Good in theory, but I doubt that's how it'll go down.

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  • image WishIcouldbeinthe'stan:
    image blondebunny:
    image WishIcouldbeinthe'stan:

    BBs, I know how you feel. J's brother is exactly the same way, when he visited us before J's EAS, he was wasted and partying all the time. It was so annoying.

    I would be annoyed at K if I were you, there's nothing wrong with wanting a weekend at the Bday Ball that doesn't include drunk BIL.

    ETA: I have seen guys bring guy friends to the ball before. 

    really? Okay well then I guess that makes it a little bit better.

     I'm more worried about annoying K because I don't want him to think I don't like his brother since I straight up told him I didn't want him to go. I don't want to feel like a control freak because if the guy wants to go to the ball well then I guess he can. I guess it's out of my hands.

    I don't like J's drunk brother, and J knows it. Devil I guess what bothers me about the situation is that I think after this deployment, you deserve to go to the ball sans his bro, and I don't get where K's friend got the idea to invite him, if not from K. 

    I don't know where he got the idea either, this same friend has hungout with K's brother numerous times and they got along so he asked him. And knowing K's brother he's down to go as long as he can party.

  • Setting has always been assigned at the balls DH and I have attended. Each shop was in an area and then assigned to tables in that area. DH has always been friends with a girl that helps with seating and she places us with most of his friends.

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  • Uggh sounds just like my BIL! When we went to Cali for our 2 week vaca he was constantly trying to get us to buy him food, gas, and whatever! He even got A's mom on his side telling him he should help his brother out...even though we are ON VACA! So annoying! I have never been to a ball either so idk if that is normal for guys to ask guys...good luck and hope it all works out!
  • image ErikandAfton:

    Your BIL will not be the only one not in a uniform. There will be a lot of men and even adult sons there not in uniform. It will only be awkard if you allow it to be. And needless to say your DH's friend invited BIL your DH did not! Thus he should be friend's responsibility and not your's and your DH's.

    I agree with you. 

    If your BIL is immature and acts stupid, then he will fit right in.  Have you ever been to a Marine Corps event, specifically the Ball?  It is a bunch of young (and older ones for that matter) Marines acting stupid.  His dumb jokes will be received well by the Marines because they too tell dumb jokes.  It will be very annoying for you because you don't seem to like him much.  He will probably annoy the other wives and girlfriends as well.  For the men, however, they will have a great time.

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  • image Lissa832:
    image ErikandAfton:

    Your BIL will not be the only one not in a uniform. There will be a lot of men and even adult sons there not in uniform. It will only be awkard if you allow it to be. And needless to say your DH's friend invited BIL your DH did not! Thus he should be friend's responsibility and not your's and your DH's.

    I agree with you. 

    If your BIL is immature and acts stupid, then he will fit right in.  Have you ever been to a Marine Corps event, specifically the Ball?  It is a bunch of young (and older ones for that matter) Marines acting stupid.  His dumb jokes will be received well by the Marines because they too tell dumb jokes.  It will be very annoying for you because you don't seem to like him much.  He will probably annoy the other wives and girlfriends as well.  For the men, however, they will have a great time.

    I'm sorry, what?

    They have a good time, but they do not act like dumbasses. They don't tell dumb jokes and act like 5 year olds. They are very respectful and act like adults. We had NO issues at our ball. As a matter of fact, the only problem we did have last year was one wife taking advantage of the open bar and having to be carried out of the club unconscious. 

    So no, he might not fit right in. 

  • image Lissa832:

    I agree with you. 

    If your BIL is immature and acts stupid, then he will fit right in.  Have you ever been to a Marine Corps event, specifically the Ball?  It is a bunch of young (and older ones for that matter) Marines acting stupid.  His dumb jokes will be received well by the Marines because they too tell dumb jokes.  It will be very annoying for you because you don't seem to like him much.  He will probably annoy the other wives and girlfriends as well.  For the men, however, they will have a great time.

    This year was my fifth ball, sixth if you count a dining in, and while it's not twenty, I'd disagree that it's the general rule that Marines act inappropriately at birthday balls. It occasionally occurs, and it's an embarrassment when it does. I find the characterization of Marines as drunken lunatics to be offensive and stereotypical. 

    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • image WishIcouldbeinthe'stan:
    image Lissa832:

    I agree with you. 

    If your BIL is immature and acts stupid, then he will fit right in.  Have you ever been to a Marine Corps event, specifically the Ball?  It is a bunch of young (and older ones for that matter) Marines acting stupid.  His dumb jokes will be received well by the Marines because they too tell dumb jokes.  It will be very annoying for you because you don't seem to like him much.  He will probably annoy the other wives and girlfriends as well.  For the men, however, they will have a great time.

    This year was my fifth ball, sixth if you count a dining in, and while it's not twenty, I'd disagree that it's the general rule that Marines act inappropriately at birthday balls. It occasionally occurs, and it's an embarrassment when it does. I find the characterization of Marines as drunken lunatics to be offensive and stereotypical. 

    I agree.

    I've never even been to a ball but I know that certain respect is required, I cannot pictures Marines in uniforms acting completely immature as you have described, especially in front of higher ups. Not sure what ball you've ever been to but it doesn't sound like anything USMC related.

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