Family Matters
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WWYD?

Background:  Cousin has been staying with us for 6 months, *Was suppose to be only 3 months*  Moving out next month

DH brother needed a place to crash and will be with us until Feb, we laid the guidlines on this one.

 Last night they were both taking shots at our house.  She was throwing phones, pouring pop out on my floors.  They were rough housing and I kept yelling at them to watch out before they break anything.  She goes in the bathroom and passes out in my hall.  Keeps saying she doesn't feel good.  They pass out in front of our room and I tell them that's not a good place since we are going to sleep.  Instead of staying in the bathroom she pukes right in front of our bedroom door!  I started getting stuff to clean it up and told me self no!  I threw the supplies at them and said "I did not partake in this your cleaning it up yourselves"!  And I slammed the door.  They are both in their 30's and this is totally uncool.  I feel like this is disrespetiful with the kindness that we have given them to stay with us rent free! 

 She said sorry to DH this morning and he said that if you didn't feel well you should of stayed in the bathroom and that they two of them are going to steam clean our carpets.  *She didn't like that*

 I'm at work now and I don't know how to react when I see them tonight!  Ugh!

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Re: WWYD?

  • This isn't grounds for eviction?
    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • Change the locks.
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  • I would tell them to both get the hell out.  You're letting them stay with you for free & they get so wasted that they're damaging your property!?!?!  That's unacceptable to me.

    It sounds like you have been way too kind & it's time to stop.

  • She was throwing phones, pouring pop out on my floors.  They were rough housing and I kept yelling at them to watch out before they break anything.  

     

    Ummm, anyone pouring anyone on my floor would have seen me physically propel them from the house.

    Why would you put up with this? They need to leave. Where they go is not your problem, if they can't treat your house with respect then they don't get to stay.

    I can't imagine people who behave like this will manage to maintain appropriate behaviour all through Christmas and New Years when people traditionally get drink a lot. 

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  • image smilingjb:

     She said sorry to DH this morning and he said that if you didn't feel well you should of stayed in the bathroom and that they two of them are going to steam clean our carpets.  *She didn't like that*

    So an adult chose to get drunk and after puking every where, she doesn't want to clean it up?  Since she doesn't like taking responsibility, I have a feeling this will happen again.

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  • Why would you put up wioth this?  My sister was staying with us for awhile a few years ago, and I booted her out for much less.  When you see them tonights, tell them you hope they've found a new place to live because they have to be out by Monday. 
    nothing
  • This type of behavior is grounds for even throwing one's own offspring out of the house, let alone freeloading relatives.  Time to kick them out NOW.
    Waiting for some innocuous creativity... I'll let you know.
  • She said sorry to DH this morning and he said that if you didn't feel well you should of stayed in the bathroom and that they two of them are going to steam clean our carpets.  *She didn't like tha

     

    Wow,,,he was that forceful with them? He should have told them both to get the F out. You should do the dame when you get home.



  • Thank you ladies, I felt like I was going overboard about this and I now see I am not!  I am one who does not get mad easily.  I showed them I was pissed off last night and I will still let them know tonight!

     

    Thanks!

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  • image smilingjb:

    Thank you ladies, I felt like I was going overboard about this and I now see I am not!  I am one who does not get mad easily.  I showed them I was pissed off last night and I will still let them know tonight!

     

    Thanks!

    By giving them 24 hours to pack up their stuff and get the fuck_out? Because if you don't and they pull anything like this again, it's all your fault and you should do all the cleaning up.

    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • I'm sorry but both of  these individuals think of you as a doormat.  You can tell them how mad you are till you are blue in the face and it won't matter at all.  In fact, they would probably just laugh at you.  Time to stop talking and have some action.  You need to throw them out. 
  • I just had this situation with my younger brother.  I would silently clean up after him and his GF, but then there was a situation that put me over the edge (kind of like your throwing up incident)  and I told them they had to pay me rent or get out.  Of course they got out, because God forbit they help out their sister in any way. 

    It turned into a really heated argument, so prepare yourself.  Now that they are out I feel 800 times better and am so happy I don't have to supply the fridge with food for them or clean up after them since they had no respect for my house. 

    Sadly, they don't realize the whole reason I was angry (lack of respect) and they are telling me I am "materialistic".  Yea, ok.  I just don't want my house destroyed. 

    I feel so much better not being a dorrmat, but sad because it has ruined our relaionship in the process.  Good luck.

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  • image ShayLH:
      realize the whole reason I was angry (lack of respect) and they are telling me I am "materialistic".  Yea, ok.  I just don't want my house destroyed. 

    My brother said something along the lines of this when he moved back in with my parents. He had some financial problems and moved back home to get back on his feet. Nothing wrong with that. His dog did some damage to my parents house and I got really upset because when DH and I got married, we were buying the house from my parents because they were moving after the wedding (perfect timing, btw). This totally pissed me off when he said that. I went off on my brother to the point I think I made him cry. Something along the lines of: My father doesn't come from money and worked VERY hard to have the life he has and be in the financial situation he is in. So, who the hell are you to come into HIS home and wreck it?! And since this will be my home after DH and I are married, I'd like to remind you to be f**ing responsible and clean up after yourself. They LET you come back, so the least you could do is take care of it and be some what responsible.

    After DH and I got married and moved in, we gave him one month to get a place. He was out in two weeks. I love my brother, but I've worked hard for my "things" in life and I appreciate them. If you are in my home and don't respect my things, I will boot you out on your a** and wont think twice about it.

    I say, after the whole trashing your house incident, kick them out. They aren't respecting your property, therefore, you can do no more for them!

  • "get the He!! out of my house"
  • First, you need to sit down with YH and tell him that you think they need to leave. Immediately.

    Then you need to go TOGETHER and tell the other two that they are done and need to leave your house. Whether or not you ask for the money to get the carpets steamed is your business. Chances are, you won't get the money. And It'd be better for you if they left, money or not. 

  • I feel like i would never do this...but even if i di the first thing i would do is apologize to BOTH of you the next morning and be scrubbing that carpet all day and night if i had too

     you should not have to feel uncomfortable in your own home..if your upset let them know how you feel and make sure they take care of it otherwise they are going to continue to walk all over you

  • If "they don't like it" they can get the F out of your house.  Remember, they might sleep there, but it is YOUR house.

    Give them a timeline for cleaning the carpets, and if they don't steam clean them by that time, then they can pack up and leave.  Or you'll throw their things in garbage bags and leave them on the curb.

    And if you allow them to stay, I would start collecting rent to offset the expenses they are causing you (including using the phone, any damage they do per month, and food), and tell them if that happens again, they won't be sleeping at your house, you'll throw them out that night.

  • What are you running? a happy home for a married couple -- or Battle Alley?

    It is time for these ruffians to go. Give them a month to find their own place and they're not out by then, pack up their personal effects, put 'em outside and then change the locks.

    She passed out? Either she's got a medical problem  or they were drinking  or using drugs or something else. Why are you putting up with this kind of bullshit?

  • The cousin definitely needs to be gone now. Why another month? She has strung you along 3 months extra already. Tell her she has overstayed her welcome. How long has the brother been mooching? What guidelines did you lay down? Is this his normal behavior? You aren't doing anybody any favors letting them live rent free. How quickly they forget.
  • What would I do?  I'd kick them out.  That is ridiculous behavior.  Ridiculous. 
  • If some idiot passed out in my hall they would be waking up outside of my locked house.
  • Um, grown adults would not be living rent-free in my house regardless, unless it was under the most dire of circumstances.  And especially if they start trashing the place!  Oh hell no.  Kick. Them. Out.
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  • In your shoes, I would call the locksmith and change the locks; call my DH and tell him to bring home boxes; and take the day off work to pack up their stuff and have it sitting on the curb by that evening.

    You owe them nothing.  They are freeloaders and jerks.  To the best of my knowledge, as they are not rent-paying, they don't have any legal standing to prevent you from booting them immediately.

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  • image zitiqueen:
    image smilingjb:

    Thank you ladies, I felt like I was going overboard about this and I now see I am not!  I am one who does not get mad easily.  I showed them I was pissed off last night and I will still let them know tonight!

     

    Thanks!

    By giving them 24 hours to pack up their stuff and get the fuck_out? Because if you don't and they pull anything like this again, it's all your fault and you should do all the cleaning up.

    Exactly!

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