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meeting the bfs exfiance

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Re: meeting the bfs exfiance

  • image ana.autopsy:

    Thank you to everyone for their responses. Forthose of you who had a problem with my grammar/typing, I do apologize. It waslate and I had had a few drinks. Also I was wrapped up in my head so it allcame spilling out. I promise I don't always type like a 13 year oldhaha! As far as the BF, I'm going to sit down and talk to him. Ask him where hisheart is really at. If he says it truly is with me, and then see ifhe would be willing to see a counselor to work on our issues. If he says heisn't sure where his heart lies, than it will be adios. Once again, thank youfor the support and advice. Really I just needed to hear from people what wasalready in my head. I think this has helped me to fully realize what it is thatneeds to be done. 

    Better but still a little hard to read.

    And good luck with talking to you BF. I hope everything works out for the best.

    2010 AthensGAHalf official time: 2:37:15
    2011 AthensGAHalf official time: 2:33:31

    Ze Blog
  • hmmm well it depends what he WAS talking about in those emails that he lied about....either way I wouldn't be happy about him lying.  Were they declaring their love to each other? was she gusing about how much she missed him? (in these cases I would be worried and I'd question why he was talking back to her).

    If they we're talking about baseball, what they're doing nowadays or how their family is..I don't think I'd worry so much but I still might have a conversation with him to let him know that "you don't want to but you feel a bit insecure over him talking so closely with his ex again, since he felt so strongly about her...and ask him if you have anything to worry about.

    I'd still go to the event and see how things go.  Be friendly with the ex, ignore the fact that yes he might give her a hug when they first see each other...but you can also pay attention to what he acts like, and what she acts like, how he introduces you and such.....even though you obviously have jealous reasons not to like the girl, they did break up for a reason right? and he's with you now and he says this is where he wants to be, I'd try to trust him....if he ends up ignoring you or she tries to do something you're uncomfortable with then TALK to him afterwards about how it makes you feel.....

  • Don't date men who are still in love (or obsessed, or infatuated) with someone else (and yes, this is exactly what it means when a guy keeps talking about his ex and reminiscing and calling her the love of his life, ESPECIALLY to his new girlfriend).  This should be a no-brainer.

    Don't bother with meeting her, or talking to him, or going to any event.  Just break up with him and find a guy who is actually into you and only you.  

    image
  • He's not over her, no matter what he says to you. Actions speak louder than words.
    image
    Are you serious???
  • Honestly, I know exactly how you feel. Everyone seems to be saying to leave him he's not worth it as if it would be an easy task! What's up with that!? If anyone has ever been in love they know that often times, when a bump in the road comes (as they surely will do) you don't just say "he's obviously not worth my love. I'm done." you work through it.

     That being said, I'm actually going through a bit of the same thing. My Mister never talked the chick up (well not really) but when we were first getting to know each other we were both coming out of long, hurtful but loving relationships. We both know a lot more about each of our ex's than is probably healthy to a relationship. I'm under the beliefe that the past is the past and if he wants me to be comfortable with it, it needs to stay that way.

    This woman you're talking about sounds similar (if not BETTER) than the chick I'm having to deal with. She has pulled every mind trick in the book on him. The last straw for me was when she sent him a random text saying something to the tune of "Hey there! Heard we'd be in town at the same time... let's catch up like old times! Hope your jaw didn't drop, save that for later" UUUGH I was LIVID!

     Needless to say both I and the Mister were pissed as could be. I have stayed quite for almost 3 years without saying a word to her about her behaviour. He sent her an email saying never to contact him again (in more words of course) and I sent her an very to-the-point message telling her EXACTLY and explicitly what I thought of her.

     And while I still sometimes have issues with her (namely his parents keeping pictures of the two of them kissing hung up all over the house and used as desktop screen-savers... really guys? It's been like 5 years...) I must say I feel about a billion times better. Having a big vent TO HER and not him was what needed to happen. Also try burning a few HARD COPY pictures of this chick. I know it sounds morbid but it really gave me a good, final feeling of being rid of her. If the pictures are ash I know they won't be coming back!

     Sorry so long, I just feel pretty strongly about this one..!

    p.s. If I ever met this other woman of my Mister's in person.. I'd probably break her nose. But then, that's just me. And I love him dearly. Not his fault that he's a man!

  • " If anyone has ever been in love they know that often times, when a bump in the road comes (as they surely will do) you don't just say "he's obviously not worth my love. I'm done." you work through it."

     

    We've all been in love and we all know from experience that your guy being in love with someone else and talking to her behind your back isn't a bump in the road - it's a surefire indicator that the relationship is doomed.  After all, what's the best case scenario that can happen here?  The guy can say he's sorry and stop talking to the ex, but she'll always wonder if he's lying again, and if he's still harboring feelings for this woman.  Best case scenario if she stay is this being the rest of her life, never feeling like anything more than a consolation prize. 

    image
  • I think that if you're 24, you've been in a relationship for (maybe) a year and you're already at the point that you think you need to seek couples councelling you need to run, not walk.  Life is too short to waste your time in an unhealthy relationship with someone who admits that the "love of their life" is someone other than you.  You've already stooped to snooping through his emails like an insecure teenager- do you really want to be that person?  Why put yourself through the stress?  Go out, enjoy life and eventually find someone who wants to be with you-there is plenty of time for that.
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