Relationships
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Ready to move forward

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Re: Ready to move forward

  • I dated a guy like that.  I turned 30 and we were very serious and in love.  Things were going so well.  Until I wanted to grow and change.  He was very happy in my apartment.  I wanted more and I wanted to be with someone who wanted more.

    It wasn't him.

    The strain of our differences broke us up.  It came down to who would pay for a destination wedding of his friend.  (Not me.) It could have been anything.

    We both found love with other people. And are very happy in our lives now.

    PS: And when I say happy I mean a marriage, home and child for me.  For him, a divorce and new live-in GF in an apartment owned by his parents.  He's happy.  The new GF is happy.  But I would NOT have been happy in an apartment his parents owned - and I would have made him miserable in my misery.  It is better we found new people to love.  And I just LOVE my new hubby and our life together.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • The part about wanting to move on is your mind is ready, but your heart isnt.   I beleive that when you have been in a relationship so long you become so comfortable that it is so hard to leave that comfort.  The best thing to do at this point is leave.  He is too comfortable with the way the relationship is.  You want more.  You want to feel that the person you are spending your time with is ready for the next step,  if he can not provide that then another good man will.  sometimes it takes what he is losing to realize how much he loves and needs you, if he does not realize that then you will find someone who does. Look at it this way if you stayed in this relationship it might be 5-10 more years before you get married and it wont be because he wants to it will be because you have brought it up so much he thinks he has to.  You dont want that, someone blaming you for moving on with their lives. Let him live in it alone.
  • It really all depends on how much you want to be with him. I waited a long time for my man. A good 8 1/2 years before he proposed. Each time I got stressed out about him never taking the plunge, I had weigh the pros and cons and it always came down to the fact that there wasn't anyone else I wanted to be or was a better fit for me. Then again, he always talked about future stuff with me. It was more of a doubt that he would get over the procrastination. But at one point I decided that it was better to be with him and not married than to be with someone who made less sense for me. I loved him and I knew he loved me. Do you get this feeling from your boyfriend? Is there a question about whether you two are right for each other with or without the other things?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image sprky79:

    first of all, GET YOUR E MAIL ADDRESS OFF YOUR SCREEN NAME!  This is the interwebz, there are crazies here.

    He's not ready. You are.  Wait around or leave.  There really aren't other options.

    This is the best advice you will get and do it now!  Delete this message, get another account to post. You are leaving yourself wide open for crazies.

  • Thanks for all the great advice ladies!  BF and I sat down and had a very long talk about how we were both feeling.  He admits that we are in a slump and says that he is willing to step it up and makes things right between us.  This is one of the first times he has ever really talked to me about how he is really feeling.  He is even looking for a new job and says he wants to make a better life for us.  He says he's sorry for making me feel the way he did and knows what he needs to do.  I know this is the last chance for us but I love him so much I am willing to give him another chance and just hope that he will keep his word.  I'll keep you posted and let you know how things are going.

    And again, thank you all so much for the support!  

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