June 2009 Weddings
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Funniest Story EVER

My sister emailed me this was a nest post. I don't know where the origninal is, but I couldn't breathe I laughed so hard. I would quit my job on the spot.

So I'm sure some of you recall my last embarrassing work poo stroy where I was freaking out because the poo wouldn't go down the toilet then I broke the toilet and water started squirting everywhere right...
 Well this is worse.  I ran to the bathroom- a shared co-ed bathroom in my small office.  I felt like I was going to throwup so I bolted.  I run in, run to the toilet and start puking..sorry tmi.  Well after I'm done, I realize the water has poo FLOATING IN IT!!!!  Which didn't obviously come out of my mouth btw...but besides the point.  So I am utterly disgusted that I just heaved my lunch up into a poo infested toilet bowl that smells horrible btw.  I go to flush the toilet and it starts leaking out the sides....all I can think of is PLEASE STOP PLEASE STOP!  Don't let the poo and puke hit the floor PLEASE STTOOOPPPP!!!.  So I take the lid off quick and what do you know....the chain is broke again.  Now I am in another poo/puke panic and IT ISN"T EVEN MY OWN POO!!!! 
I put the toilet lid down on the sink and the damn thing shatters...yep straight up shatters.  I am now sobbing, there is ceramic toilet lid pices everywhere and the stupid ball chain hangy flushy thing is just bobbing around while water is flooding the bathroom. 
I walk out, into my boss' office and keep sobbing.  He asks what's wrong and all I can do is point to the bathroom and say it's not my POOOOO.  He runs in there and SLIPS ON THE WATER and is now laying in poo/puke water with blood coming out of his head...I run in, see the blood and throw up even more. 
Our other  manager runs in, sees the mess, my boss with the blood and me with the puke  and picks up the phone calmly and dials 911.  My boss went to the ER and I got sent home...;-(
OMG I have never been so grossed out/embarrassed in my entire life. I am so nervous to come back to work tomorrow.  They probably thought the poo was mine, but it wasn't I swear!!!!

she updated later


He had to get 9 stitches and has a mild concussion...and he went home with his wife in scrubs and threw out his poo/puke soaked clothes ;-(  I feel SO BAD for him... maybe I should make him a get better soon cake or something?  I am seriously contemplating quitting my job...this is bad guys!  I will never ever live it down.  And I swear it seriously wasn't my poo. 
I told Vinnie the story too and he was drinking a protein shake at the time and it came out his nose from laughing at me so hard.  He then proceeded to call my boss to check on him and apologize profusely that his wife is a pregnant spaz. Vin and my boss are golfing partners... I am never going to live this down EVER. 
FML.

Re: Funniest Story EVER

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