I have a friend who I've been friends with for about 15 years. She was recently my MOH in my wedding (though more because I knew she expected it then anything). Throughout our entire friendship she has had many issues - she has a lot of emotional problems and has even attempted suicide a couple of times. Throughout the years we've stopped talking a few times because she got severely depressed and would threaten suicide, yet would refuse to get help. When it got really bad I would call her parents because I'd rather she be alive and not talk to me then not be around at all.
The issue that I have is this friendship is just completely one sided, and has been for a long time. In college her parents would call me to check up on her all the time, making me kind of a pseudo-guardian (until we stopped talking). She goes through cycles of depression very frequently with sever highs and lows, but won't get help, so it's like watching a train wreck and is very hard to be around never knowing if she'll hurt herself again. Whenever she gets a boyfriend, like she has now, she falls off the map and I never speak to her. I just got married a month ago and I still make the time to call and get together with my friends. She and this guy have been dating for 3 months, and I don't see how a call is that hard to make. As with all of the guys she tends to pick, he's not very nice to her from what I hear (I've only met him once because when I suggest the 2 of us going out or even the 4 of us double dating it never happens), so I know when things end she'll be calling me again for the sympathetic ear and fall back plans.
I'm pretty much done with this. During wedding planning I didn't expect anything from her, but she was also MOH for a total bridezilla, and she used every event (shower and bachelorette party) to complain to everyone about this other girl, even having me ride separately with her in her car to go to the bar the night of the bachelorette to complain about things. They had a round of layoffs at my job 2 months before the wedding, and when I told her about it her response was "Oh... By the way, can I bring a date to the wedding?" She just has no interest in anything happening with me and shows no concern for anything that happens in my life.
Now I know a lot of this is my fault - I should have said no more, shouldn't have allowed her parents to put me in an awkward position, and should have shown her that I expect more of a give and take relationship. These are all things that I keep in mind with friendships I have developed since then. But I just don't know what to do now. I've had one friendship before that I ended due to the unhealthy nature of it, but I just told him how I felt and that was that. With this friend I'm concerned about her depression and tendencies to cut herself or do worse, so I feel stuck (though I have talked to her about her not returning calls or showing an interest in my life, to no avail). But after so long I feel like it would be really crappy to just ignore her until she gets the hint.
You guys are good with advice, what would you do?