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Dishes (before vs. after)

I came home from work later than usual last night (around 6) and headed straight to the kitchen to make dinner because I know that DH doesn't like to eat dinner late.  He was out doing something for the house and I figured by the time he got back, we can eat.

He got back and I put the food in the oven to bake for 20 minutes and told him I was running upstairs to shower. There were a ton of dishes out.

I come back down to him playing poker online. Dishes everywhere.  I started washing the main pots because I had a few minutes left before the food was ready.  He didn't say a word.  We had our dinner and I got up to wash the dishes.

Generally, he washes the dishes (what I use to cook and what we use to eat) after dinner.  But, I figured that instead spending time doing all these dishes after dinner...he could have done the first part while I was showering instead of playing games and then we could have had more time together after dinner.

I told him it would have been nice if he washed the dishes before dinner.  He said "then why didn't you ask me to...you know I would have done them". "Why do I have to ask you to?" He says "if you wanted them done at a different time than I normally do it...that's a preferance and you have to tell me".  Then he asks if there's anything else wrong (as if that wasn't a good enough reason).  I told him that it isn't a big deal...it's just would have been nice when I get home from work and rushed to make dinner, to not come down to see him playing games while there are all these dishes out.

He got mad because he said I made it sound like he sits on his @ss and doesn't do anything, which I assured him that has never been the case and that's not what I meant.  He's always helpful...but with all those dishes out, knowing I'm going to come back and wash them...it would have been more helpful if he did them before.

Am I totally off here? My whole point was that it would have been nice.  It wasn't mandatory and it didn't mean that he never did anything.  He turned it into this big issue.  We didn't finish the conversation and haven't spoken about it since last night (we are speaking though).

I would like to bring it up to him tonight just explaining what I meant, but I'm wondering if it's worth it.  Should I just drop it?

[url=http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thenest.com/tickers/ttf3c77.aspx[/img][/url]




TTC since Sept '10

IVF #1: Sept '11 (7R, 0F, Transfer cancelled)

IVF #2: Nov '11 (8R, 3F, 3 8-cell embryos transfered)...BFN

IVF #3: Jan '12 ER: 2/2 - 10R,3F ET: 2/5 - 3 8-cell embryos...BFP!!

Betas: 2/14 - 25, 2/16 - 79, 2/20 - 116, 2/22 - 63 C/P



5/25/12 - DH has varicocele surgery

IUI #1 - Dec '12 (42 mil and 10 mil)...BFN.

IUI #2.0 - Cancelled due to cyst.

IUI #2.1 - Feb'13 (11 mil and 10 mil)...BFN

IVF #4 - Mar '13...



(Everyone Welcome) :)
«1

Re: Dishes (before vs. after)

  • Personally- you sound very controlling on this issue. "Generally" he does the dishes after dinner. So... what's the problem?

    It's YOUR CHOICE to start doing them when you came back down. You didn't have to do that. Sit down and relax for a few minutes yourself.

    If for some reason that last night, in particular, you really wanted some more time w/ him after dinner, then you needed to explain that to him. Don't make this "But he should want some more time w/ me too". 

    You know how the routine usually works.  Because you wanted it to go differently last night, you're now mad at him for not reading your mind.


    That is not fair.

    He's your DH, not your child.  If he'll get to the dishes at some point after dinner, then let it go. It's really not your place to dictate exactly when he does them.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • I see where you're coming from, that it would have been nice of him to do the dishes. But I don't see why you got upset if he usually does them after dinner. You wanted to do them before and that was your choice.

    I'm not sure if you should bring it up again. If you bring it up again and it's going to cause another argument, then it's pointless. You said what you had to say last night, move on. Next time you want him to do something he doesn't normally do, just ask him.

  • I'm with your DH on this one. If you want something done out of the norm then you need to say something. I'm pretty sure your DH isn't a mind reader and it's pretty unfair to get upset with him for not reading your mind. Anyways who cares if the dishes get washed before or after dinner? At the end of the day aren't they going to be cleaned either way?
  • That's why I wasn't trying to make it a big deal...I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure I said it gently and lightly becuase I know that he does help.

    All I said was that it would have been nice.

    I get that I could tell him and yes, he'd jump to do it. At the same time, he doesn't have to tell me to make dinner or sweep the floor.  It's our house...we just do it.

    But's hard to see him playing a game while I am running around.  I could have easily come home and relaxed, showered, changed...and then start making dinner.

    Ughhh, maybe I'm being a baby...I've decided not to bring it up to him. I'm just going to drop it.  It's not that big of a deal.

    [url=http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thenest.com/tickers/ttf3c77.aspx[/img][/url]




    TTC since Sept '10

    IVF #1: Sept '11 (7R, 0F, Transfer cancelled)

    IVF #2: Nov '11 (8R, 3F, 3 8-cell embryos transfered)...BFN

    IVF #3: Jan '12 ER: 2/2 - 10R,3F ET: 2/5 - 3 8-cell embryos...BFP!!

    Betas: 2/14 - 25, 2/16 - 79, 2/20 - 116, 2/22 - 63 C/P



    5/25/12 - DH has varicocele surgery

    IUI #1 - Dec '12 (42 mil and 10 mil)...BFN.

    IUI #2.0 - Cancelled due to cyst.

    IUI #2.1 - Feb'13 (11 mil and 10 mil)...BFN

    IVF #4 - Mar '13...



    (Everyone Welcome) :)
  • ECB is right, you're pissed off that your H isn't a mind-reader.
    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • I know...sometimes I wish he were...but it was out of the norm what I was asking. And honestly, I wasn't upset...I just thought he could be more considerate. But I can see how that is hard when he never even knew I wanted that.
    [url=http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thenest.com/tickers/ttf3c77.aspx[/img][/url]




    TTC since Sept '10

    IVF #1: Sept '11 (7R, 0F, Transfer cancelled)

    IVF #2: Nov '11 (8R, 3F, 3 8-cell embryos transfered)...BFN

    IVF #3: Jan '12 ER: 2/2 - 10R,3F ET: 2/5 - 3 8-cell embryos...BFP!!

    Betas: 2/14 - 25, 2/16 - 79, 2/20 - 116, 2/22 - 63 C/P



    5/25/12 - DH has varicocele surgery

    IUI #1 - Dec '12 (42 mil and 10 mil)...BFN.

    IUI #2.0 - Cancelled due to cyst.

    IUI #2.1 - Feb'13 (11 mil and 10 mil)...BFN

    IVF #4 - Mar '13...



    (Everyone Welcome) :)
  • Other than making dinner (which is your "job"), why were you running around?  You started doing the dishes - why?  You could have sat down TOO and just relaxed.  but you CHOOSE to run around. 

    I dont' see how he's not being considerate.  He does the dishes after dinner.  Period.  What is there for him to say about it!?!

    I feel like there has to be something else going on that you aren't addressing, but I am not seeing the issue at ALL.

    And saying, even nicely, "It would have been nice if you had done the dishes" is going to come across as snarky. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • image zitiqueen:
    ECB is right, you're pissed off that your H isn't a mind-reader.

    yep

  • I find it irritating, but I generally haev to ask DH to do things that are glaringly obvious to me.  He just doesn't "see" the mess, but he is happy to take care of it if asked.

    It just isn't worth geting upset about.

  • All I said was that it would have been nice.

     

    Sorry but I think if you bring it up again it should be just to apologize to him.  Sounds like the normal routine is for him to do the dishes afterwards...and you to make the dinner.  so if he views "dinner makeing time" as his time to sit back and relax for a minute then I think he should be able to do that.  I think if you wanted him to do the dishes before hand (or thought while he wasn't doing them: 'ugh, why can's he do the dishes now so we can spend time together afterwards" then you should have said something like: 'hey, do you mind doing the dishes now and that way we can do something together after dinner?"....sounds like he's a guy that would be pretty open to listening to this option, he might not have though of it on his own though)

    Waiting until it's past the fact is not fair to him though, you're waiting for him to mess up so that you can scold him pretty much, he can't do anything about it once it's done though, so why bring it up?

  • When I saw him playing poker while all those dishes were out...it got me annoyed that that's not what I did when I got home. That's not his fault, but he came home and saw me cooking with my work clothes on still.  I figured that would give him an indication that "hey, maybe I should help out too".

    That's what I call consideration.  When stuff like this happen (as small as they are) it makes me second guess why I inconvenience myself for him.  Again, it wasn't that big of an inconvenience...but it's the little things that matter.  I know DH likes an early dinner, so I cooked before changing.  He knows the kitchen was a mess, so he could have cleaned up a bit.  That's all. 

    I feel like if you don't do those little things for each other, eventually you're not going to care at all what they like and don't like. 

    [url=http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thenest.com/tickers/ttf3c77.aspx[/img][/url]




    TTC since Sept '10

    IVF #1: Sept '11 (7R, 0F, Transfer cancelled)

    IVF #2: Nov '11 (8R, 3F, 3 8-cell embryos transfered)...BFN

    IVF #3: Jan '12 ER: 2/2 - 10R,3F ET: 2/5 - 3 8-cell embryos...BFP!!

    Betas: 2/14 - 25, 2/16 - 79, 2/20 - 116, 2/22 - 63 C/P



    5/25/12 - DH has varicocele surgery

    IUI #1 - Dec '12 (42 mil and 10 mil)...BFN.

    IUI #2.0 - Cancelled due to cyst.

    IUI #2.1 - Feb'13 (11 mil and 10 mil)...BFN

    IVF #4 - Mar '13...



    (Everyone Welcome) :)
  • I'm on your husband's side on this one.  If you want it done on your time frame rather than his, you need to ask or do it yourself.  It is unfair for you to get mad at him for not being a mind reader.

  • image richzep:

    When I saw him playing poker while all those dishes were out...it got me annoyed that that's not what I did when I got home. That's not his fault, but he came home and saw me cooking with my work clothes on still.  I figured that would give him an indication that "hey, maybe I should help out too".

    That's what I call consideration.  When stuff like this happen (as small as they are) it makes me second guess why I inconvenience myself for him.  Again, it wasn't that big of an inconvenience...but it's the little things that matter.  I know DH likes an early dinner, so I cooked before changing.  He knows the kitchen was a mess, so he could have cleaned up a bit.  That's all. 

    I feel like if you don't do those little things for each other, eventually you're not going to care at all what they like and don't like. 

    Well...this sounds 100% like YOUR problem.  And picking a fight with him about your perception of something is something I've gotta agree, youi should probably apologize for.

    You're projecting a lifetime of neglect because his priorities are a *little* different than yours (His priority at that moment was to relax and unwind.  yours was to get everything in order and relax after.  This isn't a huge difference in priorities...it's just the order of the choices) --not because he didn't do the dishes, not becuase he doesn't do stuff, but because he chose to do them in a different order than you would.

  • Let me tell you something, if I waited for my DH to notice a mess and take the initative to clean it up, i'd live in a pigsty.  I say to him "can you start on the dishes while i'm putting this in the oven?" and he does it, everyone's happy. 
  • Alright...so it's really sounding like I need to get a grip. Whenever everyone starts saying the same thing to you...you just know there's a reason for it.

    I guess next time, I'm just going to ask him to do it and then it won't be an issue.

    Thanks for the honesty ladies!

    [url=http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thenest.com/tickers/ttf3c77.aspx[/img][/url]




    TTC since Sept '10

    IVF #1: Sept '11 (7R, 0F, Transfer cancelled)

    IVF #2: Nov '11 (8R, 3F, 3 8-cell embryos transfered)...BFN

    IVF #3: Jan '12 ER: 2/2 - 10R,3F ET: 2/5 - 3 8-cell embryos...BFP!!

    Betas: 2/14 - 25, 2/16 - 79, 2/20 - 116, 2/22 - 63 C/P



    5/25/12 - DH has varicocele surgery

    IUI #1 - Dec '12 (42 mil and 10 mil)...BFN.

    IUI #2.0 - Cancelled due to cyst.

    IUI #2.1 - Feb'13 (11 mil and 10 mil)...BFN

    IVF #4 - Mar '13...



    (Everyone Welcome) :)
  • Honestly, it sounds to me like you expect your DH to gather all the random 'clues' (you running around, making dinner in your work clothes, dishes all over the kitchen) and magically know that you want him to do something out of the usual routine but don't want to bother to tell him what it is, especially since there are all these 'clues' he could have picked up on.  I did notice how you never seemed to mention how much your appreciated whatever house-related activity he was working on while you were making dinner. 
  • I really just can not get on board w/ your logic on this.  I just can't.

    image richzep:

    That's not his fault, but he came home and saw me cooking with my work clothes on still.  I figured that would give him an indication that "hey, maybe I should help out too".

    Again- expecting him to read your mind. 

    image richzep:

    That's what I call consideration.  When stuff like this happen (as small as they are) it makes me second guess why I inconvenience myself for him.  Again, it wasn't that big of an inconvenience...but it's the little things that matter.  I know DH likes an early dinner, so I cooked before changing. 

    But you COULD have taken 5 mins to change.  Would that really have been all that hard?  This sounds very passive- agressive to me, to be honest. And even martyrish.  "Look- I don't even CHANGE before I start cooking for you!  Look at what a good wife I am.  What do you do for ME!?!"

    When I do stuff along these lines for my DH, I do them simply to be nice.  I don't do it and then hold it out there for him to somehow reciprocate, especially in a way that is in MY mind and I haven't bothered to even tell him what I want from him.

    Again- this is very passive agressive of you.  

    image richzep:
     

     He knows the kitchen was a mess, so he could have cleaned up a bit.  That's all. 

    And he will - AFTER dinner.

    image richzep:
     

    I feel like if you don't do those little things for each other, eventually you're not going to care at all what they like and don't like. 

    And what little things is he not doing?  What about looking at this in the reverse?  Give him his time to sit down and relax.  Once dinner is over, he'll be giving you the time to sit down and relax when he does the dishes.  Isn't that consideration also?

     

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • He was doing something for the loan on our house and in all honesty, I never bothered to thank him or just show appreciation. Didn't even think of that! 

    Gosh, it's kind of an eye opener when you actually see your/his actions written down.

    [url=http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thenest.com/tickers/ttf3c77.aspx[/img][/url]




    TTC since Sept '10

    IVF #1: Sept '11 (7R, 0F, Transfer cancelled)

    IVF #2: Nov '11 (8R, 3F, 3 8-cell embryos transfered)...BFN

    IVF #3: Jan '12 ER: 2/2 - 10R,3F ET: 2/5 - 3 8-cell embryos...BFP!!

    Betas: 2/14 - 25, 2/16 - 79, 2/20 - 116, 2/22 - 63 C/P



    5/25/12 - DH has varicocele surgery

    IUI #1 - Dec '12 (42 mil and 10 mil)...BFN.

    IUI #2.0 - Cancelled due to cyst.

    IUI #2.1 - Feb'13 (11 mil and 10 mil)...BFN

    IVF #4 - Mar '13...



    (Everyone Welcome) :)
  • I can see DH and I having this argument.  I've learned to say,"Hun, can you tackle the dishes while I am in the shower?" or let it go. 

    My DH is very hands-on and especially easy-going when I have a 'plan' or a vision of how to get things done.  I wouldn't like being asked to do the dishes now, rather than later .... but he doesn't mind one bit.  Not one bit.

    His attitude boils down to "Gee, you thought of a great idea and wouldn't even tell me?  So I'm a bad guy b/c I didn't think of it!"  He has a point, it is very unfair to *think* something and then get disappointed when it doesn't happen.

    I've gotten even better at this with the new baby.  I do more than 1/2 of her stuff.  I'd do even more than that if I didn't point out laundry that needs folding and things he can be doing.  I can either get mad that he doesn't SEE exactly what's in front of him or tell him the deal and let him pleasantly DO IT. 

    I choose to let him do it.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • I'm glad to see that my DH isn't the only one like this.  And it's also nice to see the that the solution is to just simply communicate what I want better.  And man, ECB you know how to paint a picture!

    Yes I could wish that he would do things my (crazycontrolfreak) way, but the fact that he does it anway and is not a mind reader really need to be in the forefront of my mind.

    "Gee, you thought of a great idea and wouldn't even tell me?  So I'm a bad guy b/c I didn't think of it!"  Crystal clear livinitup!  I definitely see the unfairness in that.

    [url=http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thenest.com/tickers/ttf3c77.aspx[/img][/url]




    TTC since Sept '10

    IVF #1: Sept '11 (7R, 0F, Transfer cancelled)

    IVF #2: Nov '11 (8R, 3F, 3 8-cell embryos transfered)...BFN

    IVF #3: Jan '12 ER: 2/2 - 10R,3F ET: 2/5 - 3 8-cell embryos...BFP!!

    Betas: 2/14 - 25, 2/16 - 79, 2/20 - 116, 2/22 - 63 C/P



    5/25/12 - DH has varicocele surgery

    IUI #1 - Dec '12 (42 mil and 10 mil)...BFN.

    IUI #2.0 - Cancelled due to cyst.

    IUI #2.1 - Feb'13 (11 mil and 10 mil)...BFN

    IVF #4 - Mar '13...



    (Everyone Welcome) :)
  • image richzep:

    Alright...so it's really sounding like I need to get a grip. Whenever everyone starts saying the same thing to you...you just know there's a reason for it.

    I guess next time, I'm just going to ask him to do it and then it won't be an issue.

    Thanks for the honesty ladies!

    Also - next time, go upstairs for your shower and get changed before you tackle dinner.  I can be extremely considerate of others to the point of not getting my needs met (even little things like a quick shower) .. and that sets me up for hurt feelings when someone isn't being 'considerate' BACK.  It's a vicious cycle.  Sometimes, its okay to take care of yourself and not have the early dinner.  Really. Sometimes I pick what I want for dinner, sometimes I pick the restaurant, sometimes I go on my own schedule.  Its a nice balance.  Then no one has to think of super nice thoughtful things to do.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • image SweetSyren:
    Are you PMS'ing?

     lol...no, I wish that was my excuse for my crazies!

    ECB actually hit the nail on the head...I'm passive-aggressive...and that's a me issue, not a DH issue.

    [url=http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thenest.com/tickers/ttf3c77.aspx[/img][/url]




    TTC since Sept '10

    IVF #1: Sept '11 (7R, 0F, Transfer cancelled)

    IVF #2: Nov '11 (8R, 3F, 3 8-cell embryos transfered)...BFN

    IVF #3: Jan '12 ER: 2/2 - 10R,3F ET: 2/5 - 3 8-cell embryos...BFP!!

    Betas: 2/14 - 25, 2/16 - 79, 2/20 - 116, 2/22 - 63 C/P



    5/25/12 - DH has varicocele surgery

    IUI #1 - Dec '12 (42 mil and 10 mil)...BFN.

    IUI #2.0 - Cancelled due to cyst.

    IUI #2.1 - Feb'13 (11 mil and 10 mil)...BFN

    IVF #4 - Mar '13...



    (Everyone Welcome) :)
  • You're wrong.

    Be thankful that he willingly does them AFTER dinner. And, since this is a habit of his, why would you expect him to do something else just because you thought of it?

  • image MyValentine2004:
    Honestly, it sounds to me like you expect your DH to gather all the random 'clues' (you running around, making dinner in your work clothes, dishes all over the kitchen) and magically know that you want him to do something out of the usual routine but don't want to bother to tell him what it is, especially since there are all these 'clues' he could have picked up on.  I did notice how you never seemed to mention how much your appreciated whatever house-related activity he was working on while you were making dinner. 

    Ditto.  Guys generally are not good at picking up on "hints" and "clues".  You could have easily said "hey, honey, can you please wash these dishes while I finish getting dinner on the table?  Thanks!"

    [IMG]http://i55.tinypic.com/2q9cuib.jpg[/IMG]
    [IMG]http://lb4f.lilypie.com/md3Zm5.png[/img]

    [img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/vzjsm6.png[/img]
  • I think you were being completely unreasonable.

     

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • image richzep:

    Alright...so it's really sounding like I need to get a grip. Whenever everyone starts saying the same thing to you...you just know there's a reason for it.

    I guess next time, I'm just going to ask him to do it and then it won't be an issue.

    Thanks for the honesty ladies!

    Well, that's certainly refreshing! 

  • Hahaha...this sounds exactly like an argument my DH and I would have.  I have really had to try hard to remember that he's not a mind reader and doesn't think the way I do.  I have learned to just ask him to do something rather than expecting that he will do it. 

    Don't bring it back up tonight.  If you are speaking and there's no tension why stir the pot again.

    Also, I recommend reading the Five Love Languages.  This book really helped my DH and I realize what is important to the other person and now we try to keep that in mind as we go through our day.  

  • You were relaxing with a shower, he was relaxing with a video game.  He does the dishes ----after dinner.  I do not see a problem with him doing all of the dishes after dinner.  There was no urgency to have them done prior to the meal.

    Something else is bothering you --- not the dishes.

    This is a non issue.

  • I agree with previous posters and it sounds like you've gotten the point, so I don't want to beat a dead horse or anything.  I did want to share something I thought might help in the future, since you said you had recognized some things about yourself (being passive aggressive, expecting him to know something you'd just thought).

    I do know someone who does a LOT- truly, a LOT for other people.  What's unfortunate about it is that frequently what ends up happening is that she makes herself crazy trying to do something for others that honestly, in the long run, doesn't matter, and then she falls apart because she doesn't feel like all her effort is reciprocated.  I.e. she'll stay up all night before Thanksgiving making custom placecards and a Martha-Stewart-worthy tablescape for Thanksgiving (because she was told last Thanksgiving that the table always looked so nice when she hosted, and she "didn't want to disappoint anyone") and then she'll practically need oxygen before it's time for pie, because she's exhausted, obsessing over minute details, and is noticing that SHE didn't get any sleep last night trying to make a nice Thanksgiving and Aunt "Bessie: only brought one apple pie instead of picking up another- not that she was asked to, you just would think with 16 people coming she would have thought an extra pie would be good to have.  And yes, this situation really happened.  And what makes me sad about it is- it really wasn't a very fun Thanksgiving.  I enjoyed my 1/16 of a pie, I can't remember what my placecard looked like, and the table was lovely, but the stress she put herself under and the unspoken pressure she then put on everyone else by extension seriously put a damper on the evening.  And it's often like this with her- she does really go all out, but at the same time, it's stressful trying to deal with the high, often unspoken expectations she has on everyone else.  She's often stressed out and disappointed that no one else does what she does.  

    So as you say- the little things count.  Another way to phrase that to yourself is, "What little thing can I do to make the atmosphere of our home a happy one?" Sometimes that means saying, "Would you please toss this load in the dryer while I run the vacuum?" or "I've had a long day, hun- I'm going to go change real quick before I start dinner." And sometimes it means asking yourself- "Would I rather worry about dishes and housework right now, or relax with my husband?" It doesn't sound like there's real danger of the dishes not getting done or dinner not being made (or even being that late- five minutes to change wouldn't have made the difference between eating early and eating late), so why stress about the timing when you could take a minute to relax or enjoy each other's company or take care of you for a minute?

    Hope that's helpful to you! 

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