I have been friends with this girl, A, since middle school. When we were seniors in high school, A was driving to school, and another kid from our class side swiped her and scratched her car a little bit. No one was hurt, but A hasn't driven since.
This wasn't too bad when we were in college (we went to the same college). Our college was very campus based, and many county buses ran though campus, college students were allowed to ride for free.
After college, we both moved back home, she started working, I started law school. Every time I wanted to see her, I would pick her up, we'd hang out, and I'd drop her home. It wasn't a huge burden, but it was starting to get annoying that I had to be designated driver every time we hung out.
Then, I graduated law school. While I was busy in law school, my time was structured so that I could take care of errands and stuff during the week. Once I started working, I didn't really have time to take care of errands during the week, so I had to do them on the weekends. I also started driving a lot for work. Picking A up became more of a hassle...sometimes I would be out doing errands and it would have just been easier if she could meet me by where I was, but instead i'd have to go get her. Due to the fact that I just couldn't do as much of the dropping off and picking up, and other unrelated reasons that I won't get into, we drifted apart.
I should add that I was not the only one that would go pick her up and drop her off. Whenever she needed to do some kind of errand, she'd say "Mom, can you drive me to go get a haircut?" or "Dad, can you drive me to CVS?" I can't imagine they were thrilled to do that for their 25 year old daughter, but they did. Other friends had to chauffer her around as well. She lived a few blocks from a bus route that runs down the main drag in our town all the way up to the county's biggest mall, however, she never did this. Local cab companies charge $6 to take you within town or to the railroad station (which takes you all over long island) which isn't cheap, but it pales in comparison with the cost of owning a car and paying insurance. Still, she never made any effort to take care of her own transportation issues, and no one else really made her.
After I moved from LI to Queens, she swore she would come visit (she could take the train, she said), but never did. I even offered to meet her in Manhattan, which I thought might be more in her comfort zone, since she works there, but unless we were meeting up with a group, she would cancel out or make excuses unless I came to her parents house to pick her up.
We are now 28 years old, and she just recently moved out of her parents house and into a friend's sublet in manhattan. It is a half hour subway ride from my apt to her apt, the ride is no easier for me than it is for her. She emailed me about hanging out, and I suggested that because she has Fri and Sat instead of Sat and Sun off, that she come to my neighborhood and meet me after I get done with work on Fri. On Sats, i'm usually busy doing stuff with DH. I suggested one Fri and she said tentatively yes. I thought WTF does "tentatively yes" mean, but let it go. She wound up cancelling, claiming she was sick, which is what she usually does when she is asked to do something she does not want to do.
I really feel that after all these years of being chauferred around by her friends and family, she should make the effort to come out to where I live instead of cancelling plans until I agree to come to where she lives. It's not that i'm against going to Manhattan (I usually jump at the opportunity) but I just don't feel like going out of my way anymore. Now that she lives someplace where she doesn't have to drive, she has absolutely no excuse for not doing for her friends what they did for her all those years.
What would you do if you had a friend like this?