Relationships
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Divorce comfort

A close friend is going through a pretty nasty divorce and I want to do something for her to let her know I'm there for her but I'm kind of at a loss. I'm afraid anything I could say isn't enough or seems like I'm downplaying this hard thing she's going through. Should I give her a gift like a spa day or invite her over for a girl's night or offer to help her pack up her house? All of the above? I'm probably over thinking this but I feel so bad that she's going through this and I don't have much experience with handling divorces. She's the first close friend to experience a divorce and add in that he's abusive and there is a custody battle going on as well and I just want to be the best support system I can for her. Thanks for any insight or advice!

Re: Divorce comfort

  • I think doing things to help her (i.e. helping her pack) and giving her some time to really relax and focus on herself (i.e. a spa day) will boy go very far in seeing her through this. Really, it's going to take time... something you can't help her with.  But you can make that time go a little more smoothly.

    You're a good friend.  She is very lucky to have you.

    image
    Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
  • Offering to help her pack, spa day, dinner out, etc. 

    One of my friends would say "I'll meet you after 5 boxes."  So I would pack up and then go off to do something fun.  It made it easier. 

    She's lucky to have a friend like you.

  • I'm sure any and all of those things would be appreciated. 

    I find when someone is going through something difficult it helps them to have it acknowledged.  So just "I'm sorry you're going through this, I can only imagine how hard it must be on you.  Can I do anything?"

    And since you mentioned a custody battle, if you have time you could also offer to watch the kids if she needs to get anything done or is having trouble getting to an appointment or something. 

  • When I was originally going through the melt down of my divorce, I didn't want to be alone.  Weeknights were hard because everyone had their own lives to live.  Maybe just stop by with a movie, and lounge with her.  Spa days are great.  Taking walks through the woods (getting out in nature was huge for me).  You don't necessarily have to offer advice, just be a sounding board.  Maybe assure her that she isn't talking your ear off about it (I was mum a lot in fear of this).

  • Be there, tell her that if she wants to talk you'll listen.  Specifically offer to help her move - that's a biggie, and tell her that if she wants you to be there for her during scary moments (like nights before court hearings) you'll be there.
  • Thanks guys for the advice! I hadn't thought about watching her kids for her so I'll make sure to offer that to her as well!
  • I would try to be there for her and help her out as much as you can. even if that means cancelling other plans, taking a pto from work for her.

    I think after you help her move etc a spa day for both of you would be great. do something she would never do for herself.

    big hugs for your friend due to that is a hard thing for anyone to go thru no matter the reason of the divorce.

    keep her laughing as much as you can. make her feel special.

    Anniversary

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    JennyB's Contact!!!

    252759_2133433934243_1197891513_32602090_8158869_n.jpg

  • image ilovehouses:

    When I was originally going through the melt down of my divorce, I didn't want to be alone.  Weeknights were hard because everyone had their own lives to live.  Maybe just stop by with a movie, and lounge with her.  Spa days are great.  Taking walks through the woods (getting out in nature was huge for me).  You don't necessarily have to offer advice, just be a sounding board.  Maybe assure her that she isn't talking your ear off about it (I was mum a lot in fear of this).

    I agree with this 100%. I had such a hard time being by myself when I was in the middle of the divorce. Just a simple phone call can really make a huge difference. I was very fortunate that my friends would do small things like that or send me an email to say they were thinking about me. It really does help.

    Any kind of things you can do to help her will be so appreciated. It's so difficult to go through because the whole divorce process changes the way you think about yourself and it's great to have friends who are still there even when you don't feel that great about yourself.

    Your friend is very fortunate to have a friend like you.

    Married in June 2009
    TTC started in November 2009.
    3 rounds of IVF and a FET - finally a BFP in November, 2012.
    2 ultrasounds and a heartbeat heard - grow baby GW, grow!!
     

     

    Anniversary


    Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App 

    IAmPregnant Ticker

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards