May 2006 Weddings
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Stupid question

This is a really stupid, trivial, immature question, but I'm looking for some feedback!

I use facebook to keep in touch with old friends. I like to post pictures of Brynne to keep everyone updated.

So, am I evil for constantly denying my IL's facebook requests? My husband has a million unstable neice's a nephews. Over the years we have worked really hard to maintain boundaries, and frankly, I don't want them knowing what I'm doing everyday. If they want to know what's going on, they can  call him and ask him. Plus, I figure if they hate me...well then that just creates a natural boundary.

So, evil for denying the friend requests?

I should probably also add that, back when I used Myspace, they were my "friends" on there. I do a sweep every now and then to clear out the people I don't really talk to...and I deleted them like a year ago. Hmmm....evil?

Also, DH doesn't have a facebook account.

Re: Stupid question

  • I don't think it's evil at all.  You've got to keep boundaries.  If they call you out on it, just tell them the truth - that you are keeping you 'friend list' to just old friends.  And maybe you could send them some email pictures of Brynne every now and then, if that's what they want to see and to keep things relatively calm on that side of the family.

    FB can be a very tricky place.  I accepted my dad as a friend, and now whenever I post something he doesn't already know about, he calls me on it and it's really annoying.  I keep reminding myself to delete him. 

  • Thanks Jill!

    DH and I have done a great job over the years of maintaining boundaries. Things are a thousand times better than they used to be.

    That being said, whenever I DO have to deal with them, I start to feel like I'm the mental patient! It's important to me that I get feedback on my decisions so that I can continue to make good choices that work for my husband and I (and Brynne!).

    Thanks again!

  • I'll chime in late & say that I don't think you're evil at all for denying those FB requests.  You're smart for maintaining those boundaries!
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