Hi Everyone! So, this is a very long, complicated story, but it only continues to get worse as the years go on, so I was hoping to get some wisdom from you ladies about this awful situation.
Basically, here's what's going on. My cousin "D" is 24 years old. When she was 20, she was in a very serious car accident. She got distracted, drove off the road, the car flew down an embankment, hit a utility pole, split in half, then flipped over. D was air-lifted to the hospital after hanging upside-down from her seatbelt for 30 minutes while firemen cut her out of the car. Her injuries included a serious blow to the head (which resulted in permanent Traumatic Brain Injury), a fractured skull, 10 broken ribs which punctured her lungs, collapsed lungs, fractured pelvis, ruptured spleen, fractured spine, internal bleeding, etc. D was in a coma for 3 weeks and then woke up: a medical miracle by account of all of the doctors. They told us that she'd die.
So, after all of these injuries, D was in the hospital for 8 months. She had to learn how to walk, talk, read, write, pee, eat, EVERYTHING all over again. She now functions pretty well...except for her behavior. She has serious brain injuries, and the doctors all say that she will pretty much remain in the mental stage of a rebellious 13 year old for the rest of her life.
She had to drop out of college because she couldn't retain too much new information (memory issues). She can't work even the simplest of jobs because of her memory issues and because she has very limited fine motor skills. Because of this, she cannot live the life of a normal 24 year old...she can't drink (because of all of her medication), she'll never be able to drive again, she has pretty much been staying home for the past 4 years. She has been very depressed because of this and has been in and out of mental hospitals over 10 times in the last 4 years. She has become very angry and violent. She hits my aunt and curses at everyone.
She is also very sexually inappropriate. She runs away all of the time. She meets random, unstable people either on the bus or in mental hospitals and they become the "love of my life". She was caught in bed with a 50-something year old married man that she met at the hospital. She had a period of lesbianism with a 40-something year old woman that she met at the hospital. She dated a 30-something year old paraplegic man for a while. Now she's dating a guy who she met on the bus (who she's known for a month) and is already in love with him. She's even begun stealing from my aunt and uncle so that she can get things for her "new house" with this guy! They had to put locks on all of the doors of the house!
Because she's over 21, you cannot force her to do anything. Her doctor refuses to declare her incompetent. He says that "She can make decisions; just not good ones." Clearly, she's not totally competent. My aunt has been assigned by the court to be the sole manager of D's social security money.
I know this is such a long story, and I'm sorry...but has anyone dealt with something like this? It's been going on so long, and my poor aunt and uncle are at their wit's end. It's killing me to watch this unfold. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.