DH had a big argument on the phone with his parents last night. We are headed to their house for labor day weekend and I have a feeling it's going to be weird. Does anyone have some suggestions for us? Here is the background and what led up to the argument.
About 3 or so months ago SIL came to DH and told him she would not be able to contribute to MIL's retirement gift that we were giving to her from the 3 of us (she had 9 months to plan for this up until this point). This incident started a conversation between DH and his sister as to why. She admitted to being majorly in CC debt...probably about 20k and asked DH for help on how to pay this off and asked he not tell their parents (she lives at home and is 27). DH agreed to not tell their parents and was working on giving her solutions on what she needed to do to get out of this mess.
Over the course of the summer he has had her open a savings account, start charging for the spin classes she teaches at the gym she goes to and giving her ideas to make some money. There was a tentative plan to meet with her over labor day weekend to look at the cc statements go over he bills and work on a real plan to get rid of the debt and help her with a budget. He also suggested to her a week ago she may need to find another part time job to help eliminate her debt. He thought he was making a little headway with her and helping her.
Yesterday he finds out she's going to be out of town on a trip to the beach with her boyfriend for labor day weekend and that their parents had confronted her about her debt and the problem is being solved. So now DH obviously wants to know why she didnt tell him this sooner and of course he's upset that he's been working on ways to help her and she's just blown him off and was probably not going to tell him anything unless he approached the topic.
He calls his parents last night to find out whats going on and they start yelling that it's not his business and the issue is being resolved. DH gets mad at them and says she made it my business when she asked for help and told me not to tell you guys. So this big argument goes on for about an hour and the end result is my In-laws went to the bank to see what SIL's options were about getting a personal loan to pay off her debt. In-laws then tell DH it was wrong of him to suggest she get a part time job to pay off bills and that SIL was so upset at the things DH said to her about coming clean to her boyfriend about this debt. She told their parents that DH said her boyfriend (almost finace) would leave her if he knew the truth.
DH is furious and so am I that his parents have chosen to take her side and not even listen to him. I'm really mad that SIL only telling a half truth. DH has been very good giving her help during this time and was only suggesting how imoportant it is to be honest with her future spouse about this money issue.
Now his parents are mad at him and we have to go there this weekend. Is there anyway to smooth this over? I am really tempted to say something to his parents on my own since I've heard every converstion he and his sister have had and I know for a fact she's left out a lot of parts to her parents.
Also as a side note In-Laws dont like to upset SIL bc they are afraid to upsetting her too much..I guess she has a little bit of depression and self confidence issues.