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Am I being unreasonable?

Some of you may remember my post a few weeks back about my sil banning the family from seeing her kids.

My mom is babysitting my 2 girls today and has decided at 3pm she is going to their school to the the kids she has not seen since June. I told her it is a bad idea. I DO NOT want her to take my kids with her. If my sil is there she will not be nice about my mom showing up to see them. I called my mom and asked her not to make my kids. I do not want them to be involved. She got a little pissy with me like I was wrong!

Re: Am I being unreasonable?

  • I'm a little confused do your kids attend the same school? If your mom is picking them up and hopes to see the other kids as well that is one thing.

    But if your mom plans on bringing your kids up to the school with her to ambush SIL and her kids then no you are not being unreasonable. You have a right to ask that your kids stay out of the drama and I am not sure why your mom would not just go up to the school on a day she is not babysitting your kids if her intention is to try and see her other grandchildren.

    Not to mention I think what your mom is planning is wrong.

  • I would not "ask" her to not take your kids - I would tell her in no uncertain terms that your children are not allowed at that school with her.

    And this is a terrible idea by your mother. Does she really thinking ambushing your SIL is going to make your SIL see the light and want her around the kids?

  • No my kids do not go there. They are only 3 and 5 months. She seemed a little upset by me not wanting her to take them. If she goes and my brother is picking up the kids everything will be fine but she has no idea who is going to be there waiting to pick them up.

    Its a horrible idea! 

  • I wouldn't be asking my mom - I'd be TELLING her that she is not to take my kids to that school, and that if she doesn't listen to you and respect you on this then she won't be seeing your kids any more either.

    If you think for a second that she's going to do it anyway, I'd be leaving work and going to get them.  They don't need to be exposed to the fight that is sure to ensue between your mom and SIL.  They don't need to be drug into that drama.

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  • image Maybride2:

    I wouldn't be asking my mom - I'd be TELLING her that she is not to take my kids to that school, and that if she doesn't listen to you and respect you on this then she won't be seeing your kids any more either.

    If you think for a second that she's going to do it anyway, I'd be leaving work and going to get them.  They don't need to be exposed to the fight that is sure to ensue between your mom and SIL.  They don't need to be drug into that drama.

    This exactly.

     

    I think it's a horrible idea on your mother's part.  Ambushing anyone to see her grandkids especially at a school.

  • Ditto Maybride. This is quite possibly one of the worst ideas ever. Your kids are far too young to be brought into any family drama.

    Tell your Mom she can ambush her other grandkids on her own time, without your kids. 

  • Im with the pps, I d be TELLING my mom in no uncetain terms that if she goes against my express wishes and takes my children with her it will be the last time she baby sits. And I would mean it.

     

  • image Tulipgal:

    Im with the pps, I d be TELLING my mom in no uncetain terms that if she goes against my express wishes and takes my children with her it will be the last time she baby sits. And I would mean it.

     

     

    She knows im p!ssed. I just told her how bad this idea was. I told her that if she goes and SIL is there she will most certainly never see the kids again. Plus she doesnt need to do that infront of those kids either. One is 4 and the other is 9. 

  • And to be completely honest, if your mother does end up taking your children to the school against your wishes, I could absolutely understand why your SIL doesn't want your mother around her children.
  • image casmgn:
    And to be completely honest, if your mother does end up taking your children to the school against your wishes, I could absolutely understand why your SIL doesn't want your mother around her children.

    Ditto this. I'd start to worry about my own kids being in her care too.  

  • I just called. She left my kids with my aunt...which im fine with but she was heading out the door to go up to the school.

    I am just about in tears over this. She is such an effing MORAN!!! 

    She is supposed to  go with me this afternoon to take my girls for check up but I am so mad I would rather go alone.

  • Is she not thinking about those girls and putting them in the middle of the drama, not to mention all the other kids that will be around. 

    What is the reason that SIL won't let her see the girls.

  • I have not read all the replies before writing this.

    1.  You are correct to feel that it is inappropriate for your mom to take your 2 children (I'm guessing they're preschool age) to school with her when she attempts to see her other grandchildren.  There could easily be a drama-filled scene and it will only confuse your kids and make them upset.  As most kids tend to do, they will somehow find a way to blame themselves if there's an embarrassing situation or conflict.

    2.  Your mom is probably making a big mistake, but there's nothing you can do.  I just filled out 10 yards of permission and information forms for my DD's school and most of them are all about clarifying who has access to the child and who can pick up the child, etc.  If your sister didn't put your mom on the school's list, your mom will not be able to see her grandchildren.  And if she persists and won't leave, the school will probably call the cops.

  • image mommyaug06:

    I just called. She left my kids with my aunt...which im fine with but she was heading out the door to go up to the school.

    I am just about in tears over this. She is such an effing MORAN!!! 

    She is supposed to  go with me this afternoon to take my girls for check up but I am so mad I would rather go alone.

    I hate to say this but I think you might want to start putting some distance between your mother and your children too.  I think your SIL (or sister, I can't remember which now) is onto something.

    Your mom sounds a little unhinged.

    image
  • image duckie11905:
    image mommyaug06:

    I just called. She left my kids with my aunt...which im fine with but she was heading out the door to go up to the school.

    I am just about in tears over this. She is such an effing MORAN!!! 

    She is supposed to  go with me this afternoon to take my girls for check up but I am so mad I would rather go alone.

    I hate to say this but I think you might want to start putting some distance between your mother and your children too.  I think your SIL (or sister, I can't remember which now) is onto something.

    Your mom sounds a little unhinged.

    My sil is actually mad at me. When she is mad at  one family member we all suffer.She is a long story!!!

     Now my mom is mad at me because I gave her my 2 cents about her going there.

  • This is really a stupid idea on your mom's part.  If your SIL wants a reason to file a restraining order this is just another reason for her to do it.  Plus it is another reason for a judge to agree with her. 
  • i'm with everybody's idea. she should respect my opinions and decision. you are reasonable on this part btw.

     

    image 

  • It sounds like she knows the SIL is going to freak out, and thinks that she will be less likely to freak out if there are small children there.  In short, it sounds like she's using your kids.  Horrible, horrible idea!
  • image duckie11905:
    image mommyaug06:

    I just called. She left my kids with my aunt...which im fine with but she was heading out the door to go up to the school.

    I am just about in tears over this. She is such an effing MORAN!!! 

    She is supposed to  go with me this afternoon to take my girls for check up but I am so mad I would rather go alone.

    I hate to say this but I think you might want to start putting some distance between your mother and your children too.  I think your SIL (or sister, I can't remember which now) is onto something.

    Your mom sounds a little unhinged.

    AGREED.

    Plus, she just dropped them off w/someone else without asking you?? That would bother me..

  • image bone2595:
    image duckie11905:
    image mommyaug06:

    I just called. She left my kids with my aunt...which im fine with but she was heading out the door to go up to the school.

    I am just about in tears over this. She is such an effing MORAN!!! 

    She is supposed to  go with me this afternoon to take my girls for check up but I am so mad I would rather go alone.

    I hate to say this but I think you might want to start putting some distance between your mother and your children too.  I think your SIL (or sister, I can't remember which now) is onto something.

    Your mom sounds a little unhinged.

    AGREED.

    Plus, she just dropped them off w/someone else without asking you?? That would bother me..

    She didnt just drop them off. They are actually living with her while they wait for their new home to be ready. I dont mind that she did that. That didnt bother me.

    She did end up going. She go their late and did not get to see them and SIL was already gone.

    I just found out that the next morning she went. SHe was late getting there but saw my brother. My brother told her that his life would be made a living hell (as if it isn already) if he let her see the kids. 

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