May 2008 Weddings
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WWYD?

Hi Ladies,

I have a flame worthy post I would hope to recieve insight on. Last night was my cousins bachelorette party. We had a great time but I was misbehaving. We took a limo to Cleveland and we got a hotel room and took an exotic dance lesson, we  had dinner at The Melting Pot and then we came home and went to a local club. Well... at the club I danced with a very nice guy and we talked for 30-40 minutes. At the end of the night he walked me to our car and I told him that it was nice to meet him and next thing I know hes kissing me. Lips but no tongue...it was entirely harmless..UNLESS it would bother my husband ofcourse Im not sure how he would react so WWYD tell him upfront because its worse to misbehave and then lie, or write it off as harmless either way. Also he is going to the grooms bachelor party saturday so should I clear the air before the party?

Thanks for letting me get this out, after seeing it now I pretty much know what I should do. I would still like your insight


.*. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by finding an imperfect person perfectly .*.

Re: WWYD?

  • Wow, tough one. If I were in you shoes, I would tell my husband. I wouldn't want that to get back to him some how. I think it would hurt more to hear it from someone else, plus it gives you the opportunity to explain the situation to him and tell him you're sorry it happened, but it didn't mean anything to you, and it won't happen again, blah blah blah. Be prepared that he might not be thrilled with what happened and give him some space to let it sink in if he's upset about it.

    I don't think I'd tell him before the bachelor party, I wouldn't want to get him mad and send him into a tempting environment that would provide the opportunity for him to "get back at you" if he's at all that type of person.

    I think you really need to be ready to show him just how sorry you are this happened and prove to him it won't ever happen again. I presume this is going to ding his trust in you (even though people have done much worse then dancing and a kiss) and you'll need to earn that lost trust back.

    GL!

  • I tried to come up with some advice for you, but I don't know your DH and I think how his demeanor, temper, etc might dicate what you do/don't tell him.   I just wanted to say that I hope it all works out for you.  If you tell your DH and explain to him that it really was harmless and that you didn't ask the guy to kiss you or kiss him back, then hopefully he'll understand.  GL.

  • Were there other girls there with you like he was walking out everyone?

    If he was only walking you out your H might wonder why some random guy was walking you out and then kissed you.

    I would tell him but I agree with Kerm to wait until after the party...normally I'd say tell him right away because that makes you look less guilty however he maybe hurt and angry and want to do the same to you when he goes out.

    If he's not like that then tell him immediately.

    Good Luck and hope that helps

  • If it was harmless/meaningless to you, I'd just move on.  There's a fair chance it'll hurt H a great deal (again, as PP said, it's hard to say not knowing your H) and cause more drama than necessary.  Just keep yourself on a shorter leash next time (and I mean no disrespect, I have a tendency to be the life of the party too.  Something I work to balance, fun but not too fun.).
    image
  • Wow.  I think you put yourself in a pretty compromising position.  Are you honestly suprised the guy kissed you?  You danced with him, talked to him for a good while, and let him walk you to your car.  Where was the rest of the party you were supposed to be with?  I think you owe it to your husband to tell him the truth.  How upset would you be if he did the same thing, harmless or not?  You put yourself in that situation, so you need to own up to it.  JMO. 
  • This....

     

     

    image VABeach08:
    If it was harmless/meaningless to you, I'd just move on.  There's a fair chance it'll hurt H a great deal (again, as PP said, it's hard to say not knowing your H) and cause more drama than necessary.  Just keep yourself on a shorter leash next time (and I mean no disrespect, I have a tendency to be the life of the party too.  Something I work to balance, fun but not too fun.).

     

     

  • I sorta agree with lo on this one..

    How would you feel if he told you the same situation after his bach party? Harmless or not, my feelings would still be hurt. I dont know your husband, but i would  be prepared for him to be a little upset.

    Dont beat yourself up over it though, either tell him or dont and just be a little more careful next time..

  • I am late but im with Jillian and VA... BUT... the dancing, chatting, walking to the car, etc... you lead him to believe he could try and kiss you so I would hope you wouldn't put your in a situation like that again.

    image ~Jillian~:

    This....

    image VABeach08:
    If it was harmless/meaningless to you, I'd just move on.  There's a fair chance it'll hurt H a great deal (again, as PP said, it's hard to say not knowing your H) and cause more drama than necessary.  Just keep yourself on a shorter leash next time (and I mean no disrespect, I have a tendency to be the life of the party too.  Something I work to balance, fun but not too fun.).

     


     

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  • image losocute:
    Wow.  I think you put yourself in a pretty compromising position.  Are you honestly suprised the guy kissed you?  You danced with him, talked to him for a good while, and let him walk you to your car.  Where was the rest of the party you were supposed to be with?  I think you owe it to your husband to tell him the truth.  How upset would you be if he did the same thing, harmless or not?  You put yourself in that situation, so you need to own up to it.  JMO. 

    Ditto everything loso said.  I would rather hear what happened if I was in your DH's shoes, but that is just me.  You have to think long and hard about how he will react, etc.  GL!

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