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Confession re: that birth photo

While I'm not ~quite~ ready for kids yet, I wonder if Dh may ever actually react like that new father in the photo below if we had a baby. I think what keeps me from being ready is knowing Dh will probably never say to me "I'm ready to be a father."

I'm a little jealous of women who have husbands that ~really~ want to be fathers...

Eric and Amanda 9.1.07
image
Pregnancy Ticker

Re: Confession re: that birth photo

  • I see where you are coming from completely - my dH is't the most emotive guy around, and I imagine he will just stand there in stunned silence when the time comes. 

    But I think that's a moment that's so hard to anticipate so who knows?  He could turn into a marshmallow. :)

  • I'm not in your exact situation but I feel for you.  I really only want to have a baby if the father would feel like the father in the picture.  I know a lot of my sentiment comes from having a father like the one I have.  Big hugs to you.
  • I think that a lot of guys are like your DH Amanda- and I guarantee you when the time comes your DH will react just like that!

    My DH is the exception to the rule and teared up looking at that pic! He is BEGGING to have a baby- its so funny!

    image
  • I can guarantee that your husband is not alone in not reacting like that.  It won't mean he won't be an amazing father, though.  Smile
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    Bloggy McBloggerson
    CO Nestie Award Winner-Prettiest Brain-Back to Back!
    2011 Bests
    5K-22:49 10K-47:38 Half Mary-1:51:50
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    1/1-New Year's 5K-22:11
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    5/28-Bolder Boulder 10K
  • For a long time DH would say that babies looked like little robots and acted all weird around them. I don't know what changed in him, but he came around in his own time. He is now the guy that gets teary eyed when we talk about DD growing up so fast.
  • image mtngirl2007:

    I wonder if Dh may ever actually react like that new father in the photo below if we had a baby. I think what keeps me from being ready is knowing Dh will probably never say to me "I'm ready to be a father."

    It's not fair to you or your DH to hold him up to the standard of other men and fathers.  That guy in that photo?  I will boldly assume, is not your DH, and your DH is his own man.  His reaction may be completely different or he may surprise you with how much the impact of your child would have on him.  Not everyone has an instant bond or feels emotional over the birth of their children, not even the women/mothers.  In fact, I'm pretty sure there have been polls around here surveying moms how they felt about their baby the first moment they saw them, and not all felt that it was an existential, Earth shattering moment. It doesn't mean they aren't prepared for children or that they love them less than someone who may react like that man in the photo.

    I will say, my DH was terrified to hold our daughter when she was born. Terrified. Heck *I* was nervous!  It wasn't until MIL thrusted our baby into his arms and said, "she's your daughter, you'll be fine!" that he reluctantly took her in his arms.  You can see the nervousness in his face along with happiness in photos.  My DH was the furthest thing from that man in the photo and I was the furthest thing from that mom looking on lovingly, I'll tell ya that much!  Wink  I looked like I was a damn drunk in my birth photos.  That's what 15 hours of labor (27 hrs the second time around) does to you!

  • Point taken, safy. I guess the bigger picture is that I'm starting to feel the desire to try and have a child and Dh tells me he's not sure he even wants children. I know he'll be a wonderful father if/when that day comes, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm pretty sure he'll never be begging me to have a child!

    Eric and Amanda 9.1.07
    image
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I think (and this is just my opinion and observation) it's more of a female instinct and desire to have children than it is a male's.  Even in the wild, female animals tend to be picky with their mates, sizing their ability to sire youngs whereas males just hump. At least that's what I always hear on Animal Planet. Stick out tongue
  • image mtngirl2007:

    Point taken, safy. I guess the bigger picture is that I'm starting to feel the desire to try and have a child and Dh tells me he's not sure he even wants children. I know he'll be a wonderful father if/when that day comes, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm pretty sure he'll never be begging me to have a child!

    Left HugRight Hug

  • Big hugs, Amanda. I know facing fatherhood (and motherhood!) is a difficult thing, and it is so hard to really feel "ready." I hope that you and E can come to a place where you both agree and are happy with whatever decision you make. 
    image
  • Oh, Amanda, I really understand! Let's just not assume that your dh doesn't want a child ever. DH & I never decided we wanted kids. It just wasn't a priority to us. I never though my dh could love a baby as much as he loves ours. When I had to call my dh to tell him I was pg, he was OOT. I was so scared and knew he didn't want a baby. He was in total shock and we lost connection. I was freaking out. The next time he could call because he found service again, he was an entirely different man. He was with all of his friends and once he told everyone, the more and more excited he became. He was a proud daddy. I don't know what's in store for you guys, but just know that his attitude could change. Hugs!
    image Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • My DH was never begging me to have a baby it was the other way around. Not sure if I wore him down or he was really ready Wink My DH is NOT a crier and in the delivery room with Ethan he couldn't even talk because he was afraid he was going to bust into tears. He said that seeing HIS child born was overwhelming and amazing.This is his first pic with Ethan Smile

    image 

  • My DH never reacted like that picture...that's a more of a relief reaction to me than anything, maybe the birth/pregnancy was very stressful for that guy/family.  My DH looked on in awe when he held the baby but not that way...and he has 3 kids he adores.  Don't build it up so much...when I had kids I was youngish & nieve (only 1 friend & none of my family had any & I hadn't really discovered the Nest much yet).  Hindsight it was great, I had no expectations & thus was not disappointed.  Trust me, it'll be fine!!
    AKA Carol*Brady! IHO my upcoming 10yr Nestiversary--Back to old screenname. My own Marsha, Jan & Cindy... image Designing a Life Blog
  • DH never said he was ready to have children. I told him what I wanted, when I wanted to go off of BC and what I was hoping would happen. He never said no, so I did it. It took us longer than we expected to get knocked up. And while I was pregnant he told me he never wanted children, until he met me.
    ~Dana & Horace~*~Married July 10th, 2006~
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
    image
    Photo courtesy of Ann Goldenberg Photography
  • I never thought my DH would be the kind of guy who would be very emotional. He really isn't emotional about very many things and rarely talks about his feelings unless I pry. Since I have gotten pregnant, he is mostly just excited, not talking about the "deep" feelings about having children. However, every time there is a newborn at the birth center, he gets tears in his eyes... I think there is hope for any guy! You never know how they will react in the situation..
    My sweet boy
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  • You know, Jas wasn't too emotional during either birth or during either pg. However, as E has gotten older, it has been amazing to see Jas bloom as a father. E is just in love with him. It was hard for Jas when E was a NB because I nursed and he didn't feel as connected. Now that E can play and communicate, Jas is having a wonderful time and LOVES being a dad.
    Robin
    <><
    Tizzle 10/07 ~ Boppy 7/09 ~ Chicken 1/12

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