Health & Fitness
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Do you worry that your husband isn't attracted to your physique?

Well?  How does that change your health and fitness routine?
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Re: Do you worry that your husband isn't attracted to your physique?

  • I don't worry about it, but it has happened.  When I was underweight I looked like a little kid instead of a woman.  It didn't change much for us, though.  Kind of like not liking a new haircut, that's all. 
  • Yeah...ya know I am pretty small chested. Prior to babies I was a 32b. Small but perky and firm. After breastfeeding 2 kids, I have gone from that 32b to a 34 barely an A cup. And I don't think the girls are very attractive anymore....sort of like a bit deflated. :/

    Of course he wishes (and would never say!) they were bigger. So, no it does not change my fitness routine. lol. Nothing, save implants, can help me. Surprisingly he is against that. And even more surprising to me, is that I wouldn't mind getting some! The rest of me is in very good shape. It's the one thing that really bugs me.

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  • Nope. We both gained the same amount of weight when we got married, and we are both working together to get it off.
  • No. I was about 35 lbs heavier when MH and I met, and he was attracted to me then, and I'm sure would be even if he knew me when I was 70lbs heavier. I diet and exercise for myself - I'm way more critical of myself than MH is!
  • No.  Not at all.  I've never been and likely never will be the kind of girl with the looks that turn heads, so that's not why MH married me. LOL  Don't get me wrong - he likes my looks.  But it's more than that.

    And at my heaviest (215), we probably had as much sex as ever.

  • He says that that's not the case at all - and he does absolutely nothing that should make me think he's not attracted to me...but I still get self conscious a lot.  I hate it and I know it's all in my head.  I need to get over that.
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  • image BensBabe823:
    I diet and exercise for myself - I'm way more critical of myself than MH is!

    image Paula051907:

    No.  Not at all.  I've never been and likely never will be the kind of girl with the looks that turn heads, so that's not why MH married me. LOL  Don't get me wrong - he likes my looks.  But it's more than that.

    Ditto this! DH married me for ME. He could care less how I look! Of course he wouldn't be complaining if I lost 30lbs & gained a cup size in bra! But its just so not important to him. He loves me for me!

    Cooper age 8, Taylor age 14

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  • No.

    Not one little bit.

    If he got more attracted to my physique, I'd never leave the bedroom. And I am no size 2.

  • Nope. I know he is attracted to me and vice versa.

    I am pretty much the same size now as when we met.  He tells me he will love me no matter what size I am and I really do beleive him. 

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  • image BensBabe823:
    No. I was about 35 lbs heavier when MH and I met, and he was attracted to me then, and I'm sure would be even if he knew me when I was 70lbs heavier. I diet and exercise for myself - I'm way more critical of myself than MH is!

    This. His attraction to me has never been a problem.

     

  • Rocky makes it perfectly clear (verbally too!) that he thinks I'm totally hot.  I don't like the way I look so I work out, but I think as long as I'm naked and female, he's happy.
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  • image GRKaters:

    image BensBabe823:
    No. I was about 35 lbs heavier when MH and I met, and he was attracted to me then, and I'm sure would be even if he knew me when I was 70lbs heavier. I diet and exercise for myself - I'm way more critical of myself than MH is!

    This. His attraction to me has never been a problem.

     

    ditto.

  • Am I the only one?  My DH has a strong preference for me being fit and trim.  He has made it clear that he doesn't find larger or chubby girls physically attractive at all, including myself.  When I get pudgy, he doesn't treat me differently but we will have a physical disconnect during that period of time. 

    And yes it gives me incentive to work out.   

     

  • 10 Years, I'm sure you're not the only one who picked a shallow, cruddy guy.  And that's unfortunate.
    image
  • image ReturnOfKuus:
    10 Years, I'm sure you're not the only one who picked a shallow, cruddy guy.  And that's unfortunate.

    Yeah, it is sad.  I'm not going to lie.  I truck on though. 

  • OK just so 10 years doesn't feel bad, my DH made me quit smoking when we were dating. Does that help? Big Smile
  • image WendyGR:
    OK just so 10 years doesn't feel bad, my DH made me quit smoking when we were dating. Does that help? Big Smile

    Smile

  • All very interesting to read. I know DH loves me regardless of what size I am. He even wonders why in the world I bother running as much as I do. However, I know he's generally attracted to fit people who aren't overweight, etc. (hence, why should he question the fact that I like to run??)

    Anyhow, I will admit that if my DH suddenly became overweight/obsese, I would be concerned and adamant that he re-group on healthly eating and exercise. Would I love him less? Heck no? Would I be worried and bug him/help him to do something about it? Heck Yes!!

    10Years - Hopefully your DH is more concerned about your well-being and the postive effects of exercise then appearance. If this isn't the case, I'm 100% positive you're not the only one who's in that situation.

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  • What crock. Um. Men are visual creatures...anyone who watches "Millionaire Matchmaker" knows that men make up their minds if they are attracted?to a woman in the first 60 seconds. ?They know what they like and what they don't. If your body fluctuates a whole bunch...the man is going to notice and it will make a difference in attractiveness.

    A guy who has always like skinny girls isn't suddenly going to be all HOT for chubby.

    And this is talking about attractiveness..not love, not connection..Just attractiveness. ?

  • rori11rori11 member
    image foundmylazybum:

    What crock. Um. Men are visual creatures...anyone who watches "Millionaire Matchmaker" knows that men make up their minds if they are attracted to a woman in the first 60 seconds.  They know what they like and what they don't. If your body fluctuates a whole bunch...the man is going to notice and it will make a difference in attractiveness.

    A guy who has always like skinny girls isn't suddenly going to be all HOT for chubby.

    And this is talking about attractiveness..not love, not connection..Just attractiveness.  

    What?!  Are you saying that it is not possible for a man to be attracted to you unless he is in the first 60 seconds?!  That things like, oh...brains and personality mean nothing?!

    You date douches. 

    Edit:  Some men think that being smart or having a great personality is attractive you know.

     

  • ?I'm not in the dating pool...this the Nest, for married women--not Match.com.??The thing is, marriage,?is a combination of many things and to discount physical attractiveness in the marriage is silly. ?Of course my husband loves?my brains and personality, and he would love that if I was the same weight forever or changed. But, if there was a huge physical change, his attraction to me would also change. He's physically attracted to me because I'm his physical "type" of person!

    If my?physique??changes than I might not be his "type" physically. He'll still love me, he'll still be attracted to all my other ?attributes, but he will be less physically attracted to me. ?AND the same goes for me!?

    Every single person on the planet has their "type," of physique that they are?attracted?to (men AND women!)?

    ?

  • I am fearful of this, as when I was about 30lbs heavier, my husband told me in the middle of an arguement that he wasn't as attracted to me then.  He said that he didn't mean it, and even if he did, I probably shouldn't fault him for it.  This was in one of the darker points of our relationship.  He tells me my continuing fear is all in my head, and I believe him (most of the time!).
  • Millionaire Matchmaker made me want to stab my eyes out the one time I had the misfortune to watch it.  All of the men and women involved are delusional.

    nothing
  • image ReturnOfKuus:
    10 Years, I'm sure you're not the only one who picked a shallow, cruddy guy.  And that's unfortunate.

    Oh, they are out there!!!!  I have a tendency to fluctuate in weight...The summer btwn junior and senior years of college I was a little heavier & was casually dating this guy who I had a mega crush but he went to a different school then I did.  I was bummed when we had to go back to our schools & he didn't make it more official.  He never introduced me to his friends/family,etc.  I went back to school &  I lost 30 lbs one semester and when he came back for Thanksgiving he could not believe how great I looked - suddenly I was now introduced to his circle...this played mega bad things w/ my head & body image.  (like I was only good enough to meet everyone when I was thinner)....it didn't work out for the better.  My husband is attracted to me as a person & even proposed when I was a bit heavier from the happy dating pounds :)  Now I workout to be healthy, he likes me any size.

  • I think I am far more critical of myself than my husband would ever be. Even at my dating weight, I weighed more than any of previous girlfriends, so FMLB's theory isn't always correct. I guess my boobs compensated. ;-) With the 20 or so pounds I've gained since our wedding, I know that I tend to cover myself up a bit more and not wear some of the outfits that I know H really liked on me. I put those outfits on and see nothing but flab where it shouldn't be; he doesn't see what I see. He is truly puzzled at why I am so hard on myself.
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  • rori11rori11 member

    See, my husbands physical attraction to me gets stronger and stronger every day because of our emotional bond - has nothing to do with the way I look or how much I gain. 

    I do think that keeping up ones appearances is a must, lhowever, lets not mistake physical appearances with weight.

     

  • My husband has actually told me if I get TOO SKINNY, he'll be less attracted to me.  Which is why 100 pounds is never gonna happen - we're overweight.  He's not a chubby chaser, but he does like a woman who can hold her own and he's not afraid to break.

    As far as my physical appearance, SOME of it has to do with his attraction for me.  But largely, he's attracted to my personality.  As previously said, I'm not the kind of girl that turns heads or attracts male attention.  Which, if attraction was 100% physical and that was all there was as an option, means I'd be doomed to forever be single.

    Also, you could stick me next to a naked David Beckham.  I'd curiously take a peek, but I don't find him attractive.  Now a naked Hugh Jackman, and my husband knows I'll love him till the day I die, but I'm jumping him. LOL  Personality differences.

  • image LolitaC:

    Millionaire Matchmaker made me want to stab my eyes out the one time I had the misfortune to watch it.? All of the men and women involved are delusional.

    I bet your husband was attracted to your sense of humor wasn't he. ?

  • image foundmylazybum:

     I'm not in the dating pool...this the Nest, for married women--not Match.com.  The thing is, marriage, is a combination of many things and to discount physical attractiveness in the marriage is silly.  Of course my husband loves my brains and personality, and he would love that if I was the same weight forever or changed. But, if there was a huge physical change, his attraction to me would also change. He's physically attracted to me because I'm his physical "type" of person!

    If my physique  changes than I might not be his "type" physically. He'll still love me, he'll still be attracted to all my other  attributes, but he will be less physically attracted to me.  AND the same goes for me! 

    Every single person on the planet has their "type," of physique that they are attracted to (men AND women!) 

     

    I've got to agree with this one. DH and I love each other and want to be together. Period. In terms of physical attraction, if I suddenly put on 50 or 20 extra pounds of fat, I KNOW I wouldn't be as attractive to him (or myself:)

     I think we've started talkin about 2 different things. 1) Love and Happy marriage is different than 2) Physical attraction to a person's physique.

     

    2012 Races:<BR>
    Frozen 5K 2.4.12 - 23:10 (7:28 pace) PR <BR>
    Earth Day 1/2 Marathon 4.21.12 - 1:54:38 (8:45 pace) PR<BR>
    More to come...<BR>

    <BR>Follow my blog @</BR>


    <a href="http://cowspotsandtales.wordpress.com"> [img]http://i716.photobucket.com/albums/ww167/thom2022/BlogPic-1.jpg?t=1301676652 [/img]</a>

    <P>Dairy Farm. Run. Smile.</P>

    I'm part of <a href="http://www.gotchocolatemilk.com/teamrefuel/individuals">TEAM REFUEL with Chocolate Milk! </a>
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