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Something I never understood about race

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Re: Something I never understood about race

  • image Hinessn:

    I think 'taking the word back' is a load of crap. I think the "N" word or any other racially targeted derogatory word is offensive and if you dont want people 'outside your race' to say it, then you shouldnt either. Frankly, saying its okay for african americans to say the N word but not white people is racist too.

    I was raised to be very open minded and accepting of all people, and I've never thought about race when referring to a person. I'm white, and in HS dated a black guy, and introduced him to a friend from an old school (I went to several schools) and later she asked me why I didnt tell her he was black - why does that matter? When describing him, his skin color was the last thing I would think about.

    And to the pp who said the N word is offensive from white people because in our society white people have more power?? Thats BS. Maybe 30 years ago but not in 2009. Can you be much more powerful than our BLACK president? And I seriously doubt he calls Michelle his "N** ho" its just stupid and shows how little class people have.

    To be honest, I feel like a minority. I live in Richmond, Va and we have a Huge indian culture, as well as black and hispanic. I really dont care though. I'm not niave, I know racism is still out there, stupidity will never cease to exist, and I was raised in the south, so believe me, I've seen it, and I've expereinced it many times.

    My biggest issue? I've often been part of debates (while in school) where people of different races feel the need to show how much power they have and treat white people like crap "show them how it felt" THATS STUPID. I honestly laughed when I heard someone say this - and this is just another example of how stupidy never goes away, no matter what era you were born into.

     

    THANK YOU!!!!

    THANK YOU, SO MUCH!!!

    Really, I am remembering you, fine Nestie! THANK YOU!

    I'm not the only one! THANK YOU!!!

  • image amanjay:

    onehellofa---

    But doesn't context matter to you? Example: if my best friend called me "girl" as in, "Hey, girl! It's so good to see you!" I'd see it as a term of endearment. If my male boss called me "girl" as in "Ok, girls, all of the men are meeting in conference room B---why don't you come join us?" I'd be offended (and, in real life, he'd be mortified at having said that." Does it make sense to you why that is different? If not, I'm done :(

    I really don't understand the difference. I wouldn't be offended at all. Because... guess what? You're a girl!

  • image onehellvalady:

    "It's a symbol of brotherhood/sisterhood...they went through it together and no white person can understand the feelings the word engendered in the AA community as a result of the historical significance of the word." 

    I don't know about you but I don't know to many black people who know what its like to be a slave 300 years ago. If this IS the case then I would think it rather rude to the people who actually did endure slavery. Considering the people in today age have NO idea what it was really like. Only what the books say. That would be like me b*tching about the white man who took away my land.

    I like this one, too. 

  • I'm not sure about you, but I'm actually a woman, not a girl---at least when those with penises are being referred to as "men". If you want to say, "boys and girls", ok, but even then, don't most grown adults feel ridiculous referring to one another using those terms?

  • Wait---are gaijin and onehellofa the same person?? They seemed to appear/reappear at about the same time....
  • image amanjay:

    I'm not sure about you, but I'm actually a woman, not a girl---at least when those with penises are being referred to as "men". If you want to say, "boys and girls", ok, but even then, don't most grown adults feel ridiculous referring to one another using those terms?

    This. ?I am not a girl, I am a grown woman, and I would appreciate being recognized as such, especially in a professional environment. ?My own husband doesn't even call me girl, so why the hell would a coworker/boss/stranger refer to me as that??

  • image SpanishMandi:
    image amanjay:

    I'm not sure about you, but I'm actually a woman, not a girl---at least when those with penises are being referred to as "men". If you want to say, "boys and girls", ok, but even then, don't most grown adults feel ridiculous referring to one another using those terms?

    This.  I am not a girl, I am a grown woman, and I would appreciate being recognized as such, especially in a professional environment.  My own husband doesn't even call me girl, so why the hell would a coworker/boss/stranger refer to me as that? 

    Ditto.

    But then, Gaijin is like 16, so I can understand the confusion.

  • *snort* ?Good point.
  • If would be okay if you had agreed to it being okay. My parents, for example, would never even dream about calling each other a dummy, moron, etc, but I can call my husband a moron sometimes (and he can call me a moron sometimes), and it's okay. It's a social contract that we've agreed to without necessarily stating it directly in those terms.

     Two of my cousins say hello to each other by saying "Hey B*tch!" It's an understanding they have between each other. But if someone else called them that, they would be offended, and have a right to be offended.

     So, if you had a black husband, and he was okay with you calling him a N, then it's okay. If either of you find it offensive, then it's not okay. Obviously, you might not want to call him that in public because you could offend others, but I'm not the type of person that's going to bump into your bedroom and say "OMG, she's wearing a white nightgown after labor day and that's offensive to most of the world, so you can't do that!"

    Gaijin is foolish for thinking it's okay to call other people racial epithets without having a prior relationship/agreement/understanding, but if she has that understanding with her husband, then that's fine. Hopefully she doesn't use this "pet name" anywhere that would offend other people, and hopefully she understands that while its okay between her and her husband, that term might be painful to someone else, and be courteous enough to avoid causing pain to others. However, her callousness towards those on the message boards may prove otherwise. If I was her, I'd remove the "pet name" from my signature, but because she's been flamed for it so much I sort of understand her reluctance to admit that her choice is wrong. Pride is a tough pill to swallow.

  • I think I've been too sheltered in my academic circles and dealing with those of other races because I'm shocked by a few of the opinions on hereI can understand that some feel that way, but I'm surprised they actually believe its the right way to feel.

     

     

     

  • MrsBPOMrsBPO member
    image onehellvalady:

    "It's a symbol of brotherhood/sisterhood...they went through it together and no white person can understand the feelings the word engendered in the AA community as a result of the historical significance of the word." 

    I don't know about you but I don't know to many black people who know what its like to be a slave 300 years ago. If this IS the case then I would think it rather rude to the people who actually did endure slavery. Considering the people in today age have NO idea what it was really like. Only what the books say. That would be like me b*tching about the white man who took away my land.

    But how many do you know that went through the Civil Rights, Jim Crow Laws, "Uncle Tom", etc.?  That wasn't three hundred years ago.  That wasn't even fifty years ago.  The Civil Rights Act was 1964, 45 years ago, and even then it didn't change things overnight.  People's parents and grandparents lived through it - and still feel like they're living through it today - and passed the stories and memories onto their children.  These children pass it on to their friends and families and future generations.  It's not a matter of slavery; it's a matter of "unity."

    Would you be offended if someone (someone you don't know) called you "cracker" or "***" or "wop" or "Pollock" or "Jew" based purely on lineage, without a history, or with a negative history, behind the use of the word?  Because it's equally derogatory if taken out of context.

    As I stated earlier, it's not said by me or by anyone I associate with.  I have seen and heard it said by others (AA) who grew up in a completely different environment (AA dominant rather than caucasian dominant, lower income, non-religious upbringing), associated with different people and for them it holds a completely different meaning.  What it means *to them* is the crux of the argument as to their use of the word vs. mine.  I would never think to call someone a N*** but to someone raised in that environment, hearing it from someone else who came from the same roots it holds an entirely different meaning than if I came *into* that environment and used the term toward them.

    And fwiw, the term and the reasoning of "taking back the word" is completely asinine.  To me.  Not to them.  That's *their* argument.  As for me, I'll respect their feelings toward it, just as I expect them to respect mine toward being called a Cracker or a Wop or an Eyetie or a Potato-eater.


    Photobucket
  • why did the crazy school counselor copy and paste my post?
  • On a website where all of us despite our race and color are trying to help each other make our one day a special day, I can not believe this garbage is on this site. Yes this is America and we do have freedom of speech but lord, sometimes we abuse this freedom with bull like this.Huh?
    Doctor Title Is Closer image
  • image Hinessn:

    Can you be much more powerful than our BLACK president? And I seriously doubt he calls Michelle his "N** ho" its just stupid

    I know this post has been somewhat serious... but this line just cracks me up. ------------->Not saying I agree with the poster.... just a funny mental picture.

    BTW... I teach at school where the majority of the students are hispanic.  I have been called a "cracker," I am assuming as more of a term of endearment and if not, oh well. I am not offened in the least, but I do know some other teachers that would be.  I think that words DO make a difference, but how the person on the receiving end takes them is also important. Blowing up and making a huge scene about it isn't my thing, but if the person was out of line, I would let them know.  

    (Not saying that N word and cracker are anywhere near being on the same level, just that they are names refering to one's ethnicity.)

    [IMG]http://i51.tinypic.com/2dch94k.jpg[/IMG]





    "When in doubt, don't shave your legs. That will guarantee that no funny business will take place that you may regret later. lol. But I'm serious." +SMACE+
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