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MIL is offended...

DH and I were getting concerned about how open she is on facebook about where she works, her relationships with her estranged family members, etc... So he called her and, very gently, reminded her that nothing online is as private as you might think and she didn't really take it well. She didn't freak out or anything, but was kind of huffy and short with him and told him she knows plenty about computers.?

When she visits next week, should I offer to give her a little tutorial about the privacy settings on FB or should I just leave it alone? The thing is, she works for an organization that has a lot to do with social work and specifically dealing with finding homes for kids that have been removed from bad situations. She writes about work (though of course she is professional enough not to write specifics about the kids) and I worry that in a highly emotional job like hers, she might be the victim of the misplaced grudge of a parent or some such thing. A couple years ago she was stalked and threatened by a crazy ultra - conservative guy who wasn't happy with her work and her liberal views.?

2012 Reading Challenge

2012 Reading Challenge
Nelia has read 39 books toward her goal of 100 books.

Re: MIL is offended...

  • lelialelia member
    Ninth Anniversary
    hmmm. From what you?ve told us about MIL, it might be kind of difficult to do it, but maybe if you casually did a "hey, did you know that you can xxxx on FB?! I?ve decided to try it out because xyz" I agree with you that it has some potential to be a problem for her. I know there have been some problems with people?s FB accounts being hacked, so you could start with that and move to what you really want to discuss.
    mc: 5w3d 11/11/07 missed mc: 7w or 8w, d/c @11w 4/16/08 mc: 6wks 12/24/08 Pregnancy Ticker
  • It's always difficult to broach a subject such as this when it is touchy for another party. Since your dh talked to her today but you are still uneasy maybe sit down with a cup of tea and do it gently. Express that you are worried and that while you know she is smart on the subject, you are merely broaching this issue due to your fears. Make sure you explain that you understand that she is responsible and that you and dh are worried.
  • Two possible approaches here I would recommend:

    1. Ask her for advice on privacy settings (pretend like you don't know how to set them) then look at it with her and 'discover' how to set them properly, making her think she's instructing you when really she's learning it herself.

    2. Do nothing.

  • Thanks for the thoughts guys. I think I'll just see if an opportunity arises, and take it from there. If not... Well then I'll stop foisting my internet paranoia on others :)

    2012 Reading Challenge

    2012 Reading Challenge
    Nelia has read 39 books toward her goal of 100 books.
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