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gaijin princess...I have a legitimate question for you.

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Re: gaijin princess...I have a legitimate question for you.

  • image hindsight's_a_biotch:

    Right, ojo. In the case of Mexico and many other countries, they do two weddings anyway. Church marriages are symbolic, not legal. You would have to be wed down at the court house for the wedding to be legal.

    I looked into getting married in Italy once upon a time. In order to be legally married there, we had to be in the country for a certain amount of time, be divorced for a number of years and other standards we just weren't going to meet, standards most Americans aren't going to meet. The same can be said for France.

    I think most countries in the Caribbean are few that have short or no residency requirements and little else. So I could get married in Antigua for instance and not have to get married here to make it legal.

    Japan has no such requirement. I just got here and got married, applied for a visa and stayed. That's all that it takes in Japan.

  • image gaijin_princess:
    image hindsight's_a_biotch:

    Right, ojo. In the case of Mexico and many other countries, they do two weddings anyway. Church marriages are symbolic, not legal. You would have to be wed down at the court house for the wedding to be legal.

    I looked into getting married in Italy once upon a time. In order to be legally married there, we had to be in the country for a certain amount of time, be divorced for a number of years and other standards we just weren't going to meet, standards most Americans aren't going to meet. The same can be said for France.

    I think most countries in the Caribbean are few that have short or no residency requirements and little else. So I could get married in Antigua for instance and not have to get married here to make it legal.

    Japan has no such requirement. I just got here and got married, applied for a visa and stayed. That's all that it takes in Japan.

    That much I did know, since my brother works in Japan and is thinking of proposing to his (Japanese) girlfriend.  ;-)

  • srs5624srs5624 member
    image gaijin_princess:

    So, the reason I want my "princess day" as so many of you refer to it, despite having had a wedding yourselves, I'll bet, is because none of my family was present, and I want something to celebrate our marriage (and, when it happens, our 10 years together, as is the plan as it stands today). We got married at the time because I wanted to stay with my husband, which would have been impossible without it. Say what you want, about me marrying him for the equivalent of a "green card", but it was simply because I love my DH and wanted to stay with him and make a life together. And we have been awesome so far, and we're both incredibly happy.

    I'll take this one since I'm the one who called it a "princess day".

    I didn't have a traditional wedding. My DH and I got married across the country because we wanted to. No big mind blowing reason, we just wanted to do it our way. I had a simple white gown and we got married by a J.P. on the beach. Our wedding only cost us the price of the airfare, the J.P.'s fee, the license, and we still wanted pics so we hired a photographer.

    Our friends and family weren't present at our beach wedding (except for DH's parents were there), but we knew it would be ridiculous to have a big wedding when we got home since we were already married. So we had a party a few months after we got back. We didn't get dressed up, we decorated in a hokey beach theme, we had a slide show of our wedding pics running, and we served a bunch of appetizers and finger food and cupcakes. No big deal.

  • Ok, I've been holding back because this post has been pretty well covered, but can I just address one thing?  You cannot teach yourself a foreign language.  Fluency comes through years of study.  Yes you are living in Japan, and that in itself will give you a one up, but please don't assume that you can comprehend things like pronunciation, nuances of a language, etc. when you try to go it on your own. 

    Fellow foreign language majors...a little support please?

  • image kimnelson09:

    Ok, I've been holding back because this post has been pretty well covered, but can I just address one thing?  You cannot teach yourself a foreign language.  Fluency comes through years of study.  Yes you are living in Japan, and that in itself will give you a one up, but please don't assume that you can comprehend things like pronunciation, nuances of a language, etc. when you try to go it on your own. 

    Fellow foreign language majors...a little support please?

    I hadn't previously addressed this, but yeah, that's usually true.

    I've studied a particular foreign language for well over a decade now.  I lived in the country where the language is spoken (and lived with a host family who spoke only that language), I've traveled back to that country for several weeks at a time, I correspond with friends/host family back in that country, I watch films from that country.... I've been told repeatedly that I'm the best American speaker of that language that most of my contacts in that country have ever met. 

    And I *still* don't call myself fluent.  Functional, proficient -- sure.  But not native-level fluent.  After all these years of study and immersion, there are still things in that second language that escape me, and it's not as complicated a language as Japanese usually is considered to be for native English speakers.  For instance, how to capture my deepest emotions?  Sure, I know how to say things like "I love you," "I'm scared," "I'm worried," etc. in that language -- but there is a vast range of things that are difficult to express in a non-native language (e.g. try to translate fully the concepts of "acedia" or "the dark night of the soul" into a foreign language, without omitting any of the nuance found in English usage of those concepts).

    If my husband spoke only my second language, we would get by OK in day-to-day life and could converse about a lot of topics, but there would still be things we missed out on because of the language barrier. 

    Now, I don't know how good the OP's Japanese really is.  Perhaps she really has a gift for languages... But even those of us who do have a gift for languages generally find expressing certain concepts in our non-native language to be more difficult.

  • image GulfCoaster:
    image kimnelson09:

    Ok, I've been holding back because this post has been pretty well covered, but can I just address one thing?  You cannot teach yourself a foreign language.  Fluency comes through years of study.  Yes you are living in Japan, and that in itself will give you a one up, but please don't assume that you can comprehend things like pronunciation, nuances of a language, etc. when you try to go it on your own. 

    Fellow foreign language majors...a little support please?

    I hadn't previously addressed this, but yeah, that's usually true.

    I've studied a particular foreign language for well over a decade now.  I lived in the country where the language is spoken (and lived with a host family who spoke only that language), I've traveled back to that country for several weeks at a time, I correspond with friends/host family back in that country, I watch films from that country.... I've been told repeatedly that I'm the best American speaker of that language that most of my contacts in that country have ever met. 

    And I *still* don't call myself fluent.  Functional, proficient -- sure.  But not native-level fluent.  After all these years of study and immersion, there are still things in that second language that escape me, and it's not as complicated a language as Japanese usually is considered to be for native English speakers.  For instance, how to capture my deepest emotions?  Sure, I know how to say things like "I love you," "I'm scared," "I'm worried," etc. in that language -- but there is a vast range of things that are difficult to express in a non-native language (e.g. try to translate fully the concepts of "acedia" or "the dark night of the soul" into a foreign language, without omitting any of the nuance found in English usage of those concepts).

    If my husband spoke only my second language, we would get by OK in day-to-day life and could converse about a lot of topics, but there would still be things we missed out on because of the language barrier. 

    Now, I don't know how good the OP's Japanese really is.  Perhaps she really has a gift for languages... But even those of us who do have a gift for languages generally find expressing certain concepts in our non-native language to be more difficult.

    This. I'm a FL teacher with 18+ years experience in my particular language (started at age 5, so I was raised with it and higher level of fluency because of it) but I wouldn't call myself fluent in it.  I'm sure Gaijin has a higher chance of surpassing a similar level of fluency because of her proximity to native speakers and desire to learn, but fluency is something she might get near after years and years in Japan... not something that comes overnight.  But... then again, if I had married at 18 I wouldn't be having the depth of conversations that I currently enjoy having with my husband.  By the time they reach that level of maturity perhaps her language skills will be there also.
  • image JL0628:

    Just asking b/c (1) it seems off that anyone would marry two people who don't speak the same language and (2) you need to get married in the U.S. for it to be legal.

    I say this b/c I know U.S. Citizens who got married in Germany but still needed to get married stateside for legal purposes. It's very common.

    A little late, but just an FYI...

    You do not need to get married in the US for it to be legal. ?The US recognizes marriages performed in other countries as long as it was legally done in the other country.?

  • image Mazdra:
    image GulfCoaster:
    image kimnelson09:

    Ok, I've been holding back because this post has been pretty well covered, but can I just address one thing?  You cannot teach yourself a foreign language.  Fluency comes through years of study.  Yes you are living in Japan, and that in itself will give you a one up, but please don't assume that you can comprehend things like pronunciation, nuances of a language, etc. when you try to go it on your own. 

    Fellow foreign language majors...a little support please?

    I hadn't previously addressed this, but yeah, that's usually true.

    I've studied a particular foreign language for well over a decade now.  I lived in the country where the language is spoken (and lived with a host family who spoke only that language), I've traveled back to that country for several weeks at a time, I correspond with friends/host family back in that country, I watch films from that country.... I've been told repeatedly that I'm the best American speaker of that language that most of my contacts in that country have ever met. 

    And I *still* don't call myself fluent.  Functional, proficient -- sure.  But not native-level fluent.  After all these years of study and immersion, there are still things in that second language that escape me, and it's not as complicated a language as Japanese usually is considered to be for native English speakers.  For instance, how to capture my deepest emotions?  Sure, I know how to say things like "I love you," "I'm scared," "I'm worried," etc. in that language -- but there is a vast range of things that are difficult to express in a non-native language (e.g. try to translate fully the concepts of "acedia" or "the dark night of the soul" into a foreign language, without omitting any of the nuance found in English usage of those concepts).

    If my husband spoke only my second language, we would get by OK in day-to-day life and could converse about a lot of topics, but there would still be things we missed out on because of the language barrier. 

    Now, I don't know how good the OP's Japanese really is.  Perhaps she really has a gift for languages... But even those of us who do have a gift for languages generally find expressing certain concepts in our non-native language to be more difficult.

    This. I'm a FL teacher with 18+ years experience in my particular language (started at age 5, so I was raised with it and higher level of fluency because of it) but I wouldn't call myself fluent in it.  I'm sure Gaijin has a higher chance of surpassing a similar level of fluency because of her proximity to native speakers and desire to learn, but fluency is something she might get near after years and years in Japan... not something that comes overnight.  But... then again, if I had married at 18 I wouldn't be having the depth of conversations that I currently enjoy having with my husband.  By the time they reach that level of maturity perhaps her language skills will be there also.

    Japanese is SO EASY when pronunciation is concerned. Sure, I have an accent, but that doesn't mean I can't speak the language. 

    And when you studied as hard as I have, spent as much time and effort into learning, including constantly watching movies and listening to music in Japanese, it really isn't that difficult. So many people make Japanese out to be an impossible language, but it isn't. In fact, once you get past the fact that a lot of the words sound the same but have different meanings, you learn to put things into context and it's easy as cake. Reading Japanese is a different story, but that doesn't at all mean I can't do it on my own. 

    People are so easy to cut others down because they can't do something themselves. How the hell do you think I made it this far? At first, I was out to prove everybody wrong-- I look back at the first e-mails I sent to my now husband and laugh, but also recognize how far I've come. As I said, creating sentences is easy, I just need to learn far more vocabulary before I could even think to call myself fluent. I can watch anime and understand the majority of it, minus a few random slang terms that had never come up in conversation previously, but the nightly news is, a lot of the time, beyond me. 

    I tried learning French and couldn't get all the pronunciations right without somebody telling me how to sound it out. But Japanese sounds are ALWAYS the same, they NEVER change. Once you memorize what sounds go to each letter, then it's cake. 

    Try it sometime, and you'll realize it really isn't that difficult. But am I just one of the few people who can TOTALLY throw all previously learned grammar rules of one language out the window in order to learn a new language? I hope not, because being unable to do that would make learning a foreign language just that much harder. 

     

  • image gaijin_princess:

    People are so easy to cut others down because they can't do something themselves. How the hell do you think I made it this far? At first, I was out to prove everybody wrong-- I look back at the first e-mails I sent to my now husband and laugh, but also recognize how far I've come. As I said, creating sentences is easy, I just need to learn far more vocabulary before I could even think to call myself fluent. I can watch anime and understand the majority of it, minus a few random slang terms that had never come up in conversation previously, but the nightly news is, a lot of the time, beyond me. 

    image gaijin_princess:
      

    Try it sometime, and you'll realize it really isn't that difficult. But am I just one of the few people who can TOTALLY throw all previously learned grammar rules of one language out the window in order to learn a new language? I hope not, because being unable to do that would make learning a foreign language just that much harder. 

    You're talking to three individuals who have spent a combined 40 years doing it.  One for almost 20, one for over a decade, and me for the past 10 years.  We aren't people who "haven't tried it" or "can't do it ourselves."  A general rule of foreign languages (and they have tests to prove this, all college foreign language grads have to take one) is that it is extremely hard to be considered fluent in a language unless you were raised bilingually. 

    Please, oh dear god please, gain a little more worldy perspective before you start spouting off.   

  • Right, this coming from somebody who just said I couldn't learn a language by myself.

     

  • image gaijin_princess:

    Right, this coming from somebody who just said I couldn't learn a language by myself.


     

    Hey, I'm not the one calling my husband a "yellow monkey" and failing to understand why it's offensive.

  • image kimnelson09:
    image gaijin_princess:

    Right, this coming from somebody who just said I couldn't learn a language by myself.


     

    Hey, I'm not the one calling my husband a "yellow monkey" and failing to understand why it's offensive.

    He thinks it's really funny. THAT'S why I'm calling him a "yellow monkey". He calls me his "shiroi buta", which is "white pig" in Japanese, a racial slur for white people from WWII. Am I offended? Hell, no, it's actually really funny.

    And when I have kids, they're going to be my "little yellow monkeys". 

    I know NOBODY IRL on this website. So why the hell should I care if I offend you people? IRL I would never call a random stranger a yellow monkey, simply because... well, I'd get my ass kicked.

    Try kicking my ass via computer. GL. 

  • Ok why is everyone picking on this poor girl? Maybe I'm missing something, this is the only posts I've read about her but she seems like a sweet girl who loves her man and lives in Japan. Why do you have to criticize everything she says? No one's perfect.
    [url=http://www.sarahbethbeauty.com/] Sarah Beth Beauty - Make-Up Artist
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