Sex & Romance
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

i can't take it (long)

long story but been married 4 years, have a 2.5 year old and i'm pregnant with #2.  i have a very low sex drive- i know this.  this has caused major issues.  i dont even know how to go into the whole story.  but basically my husband is frustrated cause i'm not initiating all the time (keep in mind he doesn't initiate anymore because as he says he has "given up") .  we have sex about twice a week- i really enjoy it and get into it every single time.  we use toys, have done dirty emails,'s like he is happy for a few days after he "gets some", then we are back to the same conversation 3 days later.  i could go on forever.  he is a fantastic husband, etc...- just not sure what i'm supposed to do.  he thinks i don't care becuase i'm not "trying" but how else can i try?  UGH

Re: i can't take it (long)

  • Have you asked him specifically what you're not doing that he'd like?
  • LolitaCLolitaC member
    I would say twice a week is pretty frequent. 
  • jen1977jen1977 member
    i think he just wants me to initiate all the time and just be more sexual.  i try to tell him that we are the norm....twice a week - it's harder to explain than just this.  but it's like if we have sex and i'm really into it, he's ok for awhile then it comes up again.
  • You think this is what he wants, but are you correct?  Talk to the man. 
  • image LolitaC:
    I would say twice a week is pretty frequent. 

    I'm lucky if it's once every 10 days.  Tell your H to quit whining.  Or talk to him.

  • Also, does he realize that pregnancy hormones can have an affect on either increasing or decreasing your sex drive?  Is it also possible that you don't feel like having sex because you are pregnant and your body is changing and he doesn't understand that?

    Like Kuus said, you need to ask him specifics instead of just assuming what he is thinking or what he wants.  Let him know that you won't turn him down for sex if he initiates (unless, of course, you aren't feeling well).  That may give him more confidence.  But then you have to make sure you don't continue to turn him down all the time.

    ETA:  Being that you also have a 2.5 yr old, you haven't had much time not being pregnant or not having residual hormones from pregnancy in your system.  Having a 2 yr old and being pregnant can also wear a person out.  He has to realize that you are tired too.

  • TambcatTambcat member
    50000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its
    Twice a week doesn't sound like you're neglecting him.  If he wants more, he should initiate.  I think it's ridiculous for him to demand that you initiate sex more often than twice per week. Sorry.
  • I think you are way cool for having sex twice a week with a youngster and another on the way! I hope he realizes this too. He should appreciate what he does get, not whine about what he doesn't get.
  • 2x/wk while pregnant and chasing a 2.5 yr old = a whole lot of sex. ?I think your dh is being too demanding. ?Plus if he wants sex he can initiate. ?It's not your job to read his mind. ?2x/wk is not a lox sex drive FYI. ?It's lower than some but, more than some too. ?Cut yourself some slack. ?If your post is right on, you're doing your part.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker image Pregnancy Ticker
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards