I know this may seem petty to most of you guys but it is something that is constantly driving me nuts. My MIL is evil. Seriously, she is. She is the type of person that cuts you out of wedding photos, tells everyone that you're a racist (when you're not), she tells you that you're an ugly bride and cant believe her son is ruining his life, tries to ruin your wedding and turn your husband against you. She comes into your house and takes over, she throws things at you, she breaks things on purpose, calls you names, and treats you like a lowly slave. That's putting it lightly.
Anyway, she has been insisting that I call her "Mom". I told her from the beginning that I didnt feel comfortable calling her "Mom", so she threw a fit. Since then, every time my husband talks to her, she throws a tantrum about how I am such a biotch because I dont call her "Mom". My husband tells her that she cant force me, and then she belittles him and guilts him into believing he is a bad son, and a wimp because he cant "control his wife". She used to call me and do the same to me, until I stopped taking her calls. Now she sends me rude and obnoxious emails telling me I must call her "Mom", still calling me names, saying its part of her culture for the daughter-in-law to call her MIL "Mom".
I always remind her that I am not part of her culture, and was raised completely different, and what should matter to her the most is that I am uncomfortable with addressing her as my "mom". I dont get how she can completely overlook the fact that I am uncomfortable!! She says that I belong to her now, since I married her son, I no longer have a mother, she is my mother. Its just crazy!
I guess the reason I dont just end the crazyness and succumb to calling her "mom" is because I feel its tremendously disrespectful to my own mother. My mom has been there since the day I was born, and has sacrificed so much, and taught me so much, and has given so much. My MIL has given nothing, she's rude, callous, vindictive, hatefull, and selfish, I would never want to call someone like that "mom", its just disrespectful towards my own mother!! Plus, for my MIL this is something she feels if she "wins" at, then she can control me for the duration of my life. She will always say, "you didnt want to call me mom, and now you do, so why cant you do what I am asking you to do now?". I know this because I tried calling her mom, and I felt like throwing up every single time I said it, and she throws that in my face all of the time (you called me mom once, why cant you do it now?).
I guess I just wanted to vent. Im pretty angry at my husband for not growing a backbone and making his mother stop doing this to me. After she's badgered him for hours at a time, he will come to me and yell at me saying he doesnt want his parents to die before they hear me call them mom n dad. His mother uses the death tactic on him all the time. I know that if he cant give her limitations, our marriage will suffer because of it. There's a lot of cultural issues at play here as well, my H and MIL are from India, and I am from Texas. My H's family really does believe that I am their property now, as it has been ingrained into their minds for centuries.
Did any of your MILS try and force you to call them "Mom"? How did you guys deal with it? Furthermore, how did you deal with a husband that couldnt give his mother boundaries? I dont know what I should do, but I am DEFINITELY not calling her "Mom". She doesnt deserve it.