For the last several years, Mother's Day has been all about DH's mom, since I wasn't a mother yet and my mom lives out of state. I had absolutely no problem with that -- if I couldn't be with my own mom, I can't think of anybody I'd rather celebrate with than MIL!
But now I am a mother, and I'd kind of like to have some celebration that's not tied into the big family let's-all-have-lunch-after-church-and-spend-the-whole-day-at-the-inlaws'-house thing. I'm not opposed to going out to lunch with everybody to celebrate with MIL; I just would like some solo time with my family (DH and DD) and a couple of hours to relax in my own house. DH feels the same way, but we aren't quite sure about how to approach this with his parents. We don't want to come off like we're angry about anything or rejecting them; it's just hard for us to spend all Sunday afternoon and part of the evening over at their house because we don't get anything done at home before we have to go to work on Monday and we don't get to relax in peace and quiet (when the whole family's together at their house, there are seven adults and three kids, minimum).
My thought was that we could just say, "Hey, we'll come to lunch, but we've got plans afterwards" and leave it at that, not mentioning that we're going to have our own little celebration. Is that fair, or am I just way overthinking this because I really don't want to hurt MIL's feelings inadvertently?