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What would you do?

My husband and I were living with my in laws until our house closed and he has a brother that is 14.  We went on vacation and we unfortunately left the bedroom we were staying in unlocked and out labtop w/out a password.  When we came back our computer was dead.  When we took it in they said it has acquired a virus from multiple adult sites.  When we took this to his parents they just said they'd ask him and that was it.  My dad bought me this labtop as a gift for going back to college and it was very expensive (at least to me).  We got it sort of fixed (a friend of ours did his best to clean it).  It has been getting worse everyday and now I am stuck trying to do papers at work.  I have asked my husband to take this to his parents and have them pay for the repair.  Does that seem unfair to ask that? I just am very upset that it is broken, its only 2 years old and I havent even told my dad because I'm afraid he will get angry since he bought it for me.  Thanks for you responses in advance.
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Re: What would you do?

  • I think you need to let it go and buy a new laptop, or fix it if is more economical. 

    A well-used two year old laptop may not have lasted much longer anyway.

    Are you sure it can be repaired?  Or that a virus is really to blame for it getting worse everyday?  Your anti-virus software provider can't provide a fix?

    You would be better off asking your Dad for a new laptop than asking his parents to pay for repairs after you have already mentioned it to them and were staying for free (I assume) at their house when it happened.

  • When my cousin's son was two years old, I made the mistake of leaving my iPod in a room with him while I went outside for a cigarette.  When I came back in, he had destroyed it.

    Did I ask my cousin to pay for the broken iPod?  No.  Why?  Because it was my own stupid fault for leaving it out where her son could get to it and not having the prescence of mind to take care of my property at all times.

    It's not your IL's fault that you left the bedroom unlocked and the laptop unprotected.  Suck it up and buy yourself a new laptop.

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  • Sydney's right. A 2 year old laptop is positively geriatric. YOu could take it to a professional and have it cleaned out or you could buy a new one.

    Your 14 year old BIL had no right to mess with your 'puter, but leaving it where he could get it, unprotected, in his home was asking for trouble.

    I'm sure your university has a computer lab, do your work there until you have this resolved.

  • My DH (a computer wiz) took no less than 4 hours total to rid my laptop of viruses a few weeks back. And there were no gremlins about - just me clicking on new sites. (I don't download anything).

    Let it go.

  • GBCKGBCK member
    Ancient Membership Combo Breaker

    I think asking them to pay for it opens a huge can of worms...

    namely the (understandable ) "oh, OK.  Just as soon as you pay us market value for rent for living in our house".

     

    No, the kid shouldn't have messed with it.  No, you shouldn't have left it out.  Chalk it up to a lesson learned.

  • image Shadow42:

    When my cousin's son was two years old, I made the mistake of leaving my iPod in a room with him while I went outside for a cigarette.  When I came back in, he had destroyed it.

    Did I ask my cousin to pay for the broken iPod?  No.  Why?  Because it was my own stupid fault for leaving it out where her son could get to it and not having the prescence of mind to take care of my property at all times.

    It's not your IL's fault that you left the bedroom unlocked and the laptop unprotected.  Suck it up and buy yourself a new laptop.

    There is a marked difference between a 2 year old and a 14 year old. A 2 year old doesn't know better; a 14 year old does.

    This wasn't an accident. He was does doing something he knew he shouldn't. I'm not sure why he should be absolved of responsibility for that.

    He broke the computer, he is responsible for paying to fix it. It is the responsibility of the ILs to make sure he does.

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  • Leaving your laptop available and unlocked in a house you are staying in (presumably rent-free or at very low-cost) while on vacation with a 14 year old is NOT the responsibility of the home owners.

    Did the 14 year old use it and snag some virus from visiting porn sites.  Probably.  So does he owe you money?  Maybe.  But you can only accuse, not prove.  Do the parents?  No. Big no.  Heck, they did you the FAVOR of letting you live there and afford a vacation.

    And does he owe you replacement value?  Heck no.  You want to replaced, but he doesn't owe you that.  It was 2 years old!

    Your 2 year old laptop tanked.  Get it cleaned.  Or replace it.  Simple.  Don't make it anyone else's problem.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • image susiederkins:
    image Shadow42:

    When my cousin's son was two years old, I made the mistake of leaving my iPod in a room with him while I went outside for a cigarette.  When I came back in, he had destroyed it.

    Did I ask my cousin to pay for the broken iPod?  No.  Why?  Because it was my own stupid fault for leaving it out where her son could get to it and not having the prescence of mind to take care of my property at all times.

    It's not your IL's fault that you left the bedroom unlocked and the laptop unprotected.  Suck it up and buy yourself a new laptop.

    There is a marked difference between a 2 year old and a 14 year old. A 2 year old doesn't know better; a 14 year old does.

    This wasn't an accident. He was does doing something he knew he shouldn't. I'm not sure why he should be absolved of responsibility for that.

    Ditto!  A 14 year old needs to be held accountable for what he did.  He needs to be talked to explain the reprocussions for his actions.  Does he KNOW what he did?  Does he KNOW how much money it takes to rerpair it?  Does he KNOW how long it takes to make that much money while paying other bills?  No, he is not an adult, but he is well on his way to being one.  He needs to learn about being adult if he is going to do adult things like go on adult websites.  While he should not be held accountable for the WHOLE cost, he should a) be talked to by his parents and b) some sort of fair "punishment" should be worked out between him, you/DH and his parents. 

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  • I'd make the 14 year old pay, or at least work off the price of a replacement laptop. That's old enough to learn the hard way.
  • Is it dead because of the virus? I had 7 trojans on my laptop and a virus. My boyfriend completely wiped the hard drive. Literally everything. He put windows back on my computer and now it works just like normal.
  • This doesn't have anything to do with whether or not they pay rent. ?A 14-year old should know better then to go into someone's personal property and damage it. ?So, yeah I would talk with the parents about some kind of consequence.

    ?

  • image kmlluvnmh:

    This doesn't have anything to do with whether or not they pay rent.  A 14-year old should know better then to go into someone's personal property and damage it.  So, yeah I would talk with the parents about some kind of consequence.

     

    Oh good g*d, please don't go after  the people who gave you free room and board because their son *may* have downloaded a virus onto your computer while you were on vacation.  And the laptop is 2 yearsd old.  How much $$ do you want?? In a court of law, you don't get the value of a replacement, you are only entiltled to just what it was worth.

    For the love of pete, clean the hardrive or buy a new one.  Stop making this the people you freedloaded from fault.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • I agree with kmlluvnmh, a 14-year-old should know better than to touch what is clearly personal property--and is old enough to deal with the consequences.  I'd speak with the parents about some sort of consequence--if it were me at 14, it would be paying for either the repairs or the cost of a new laptop. (If it had been me at 14 I wouldn't be sitting down for a week, if you catch my drift.)  Furthermore, what 14-year-old nowadays doesn't know about bugs and viruses? 

  • image livinitup:
    image kmlluvnmh:

    This doesn't have anything to do with whether or not they pay rent. ?A 14-year old should know better then to go into someone's personal property and damage it. ?So, yeah I would talk with the parents about some kind of consequence.

    ?

    Oh good g*d, please don't go after? the people who gave you free room and board because their son *may* have downloaded a virus onto your computer while you were on vacation.? And the laptop is 2 yearsd old.? How much $$ do you want?? In a court of law, you don't get the value of a replacement, you are only entiltled to just what it was worth.

    For the love of pete, clean the hardrive or buy a new one.? Stop making this the people you freedloaded from fault.

    so the kid should be able to go into anyone's personal property and damage it with out consequences??? I didn't say anything about paying for it but he should be held accountable to some degree.?

  • GBCKGBCK member
    Ancient Membership Combo Breaker
    image kmlluvnmh:
    *snip*

    so the kid should be able to go into anyone's personal property and damage it with out consequences??? I didn't say anything about paying for it but he should be held accountable to some degree. 

     

    That would be the parent's job.

    Depending on the relationship w/ the parents, I could get big bro saying "hey, you glossed over what BabyBrother did--I'm not sure I like the message that sends" (although, to be fair, there's no logical reason to jump to the conclusion that BabyBro is the offender--FIL or MIL could just as easily have used the computer...).

     But it's up to the parents, not the sibling, to decide how and if to hold the kid accountable.  (which would be especially interesting if MIL/FIL were the guilty party...)

  • image GBCK:
    image kmlluvnmh:
    *snip*

    so the kid should be able to go into anyone's personal property and damage it with out consequences??? I didn't say anything about paying for it but he should be held accountable to some degree.?

    ?

    That would be the parent's job.

    Depending on the relationship w/ the parents, I could get big bro saying "hey, you glossed over what BabyBrother did--I'm not sure I like the message that sends" (although, to be fair, there's no logical reason to jump to the conclusion that BabyBro is the offender--FIL or MIL could just as easily have used the computer...).

    ?But it's up to the parents, not the sibling, to decide how and if to hold the kid accountable.? (which would be especially interesting if MIL/FIL were the guilty party...)

    your right. ?It is up to the older bro/H to bring it up to the parents and the parents to decide the proper way to deal with it. ?I don't think I alluded otherwise, if I did that was not my intent. ?

    If the MIL or FIL did it then there are bigger issues in this house then just the computer, IMO.?

  • His parent's said that they would talk to the brother.  They may have already punished him but didn't feel it was necessary to share all the details with you.l

    I'd try to do a system restore (with the disc that came with your computer).  I have a 5 year old Toshiba that was acting slow, I wiped it, and it works perfect now.  FI has a 5 year old Dell, he has wiped it a few times and it works great for about a day and then gets bogged down again. 

    So restoring the system may work, or you'll just have to suck it up and get a new computer.  Just be thankful that the prices have come down quite a bit in the last few years and you can get a nice computer for $500 instead of $1000.

    And dito to the other post, don't ask for money from people who have been giving you free rent.

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  • I can't imagine living with mom and dad and asking them to mediate a fight with my little brother. It's like you've regressed to "Leave it to Beaver". "Dad, Beaver touched my laptop."

    And another thing, are you absolutely certain that lil' bro was jackin' at your lap top. That a pretty serious accusation since your DH could have been cruisn' the porn sites himself, your FIL could have been snooping or you could have opened a silly attachment from a friend that started this before you left.

    Seriously, if you have money for vacation, you have money to replace your computer.

  • image -auntie-:

    And another thing, are you absolutely certain that lil' bro was jackin' at your lap top. That a pretty serious accusation since your DH could have been cruisn' the porn sites himself, your FIL could have been snooping or you could have opened a silly attachment from a friend that started this before you left.

    THIS. You have absolutely no proof the 14-year-old did anything to your computer. A judge would laugh you out of the courtroom.

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  • Are you serious? You live at their house for free ( or practically free, I'm assuming ). While they pay YOUR bills ( electic, water, heat, wear and tear on their appliances that you use, etc. ) you go on vacation. Then when you come back your 2 YEAR OLD LAPTOP is dead. You can't prove why, so you accuse your DH's 14 year old brother of intentionally destroying your precious laptop. And then you have the balls to request that they PAY FOR REPAIRS OR REPLACEMENT????

    Seriously?

    And another note, you are afraid to tell your father that your laptop is broken ( that he bought you two years ago ) because he will get angry? And you're married? Seriously? Is no one going to pick up on this?

    I'm not one to flame on here... but suck it up princess. Jeez. It would be a different story if you went there for a visit and left it there. In that version they're not already footing the bill for their ungrateful daughter in law. Furthermore, you now want to make sure that if they don't pay for it that the 14 year old is at least punished for what he did? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT IT WAS HIM!!!!! And you're not his parents!

    Way to start a big rift with your inlaws.?

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  • There is NO way  your computer is dead from a virus. you can have it fully repaired.


  • I definitely would check out having the whole system reloaded, my DH does this for a living and 99 times out of 100, it is due to porn.  Yes, it could cost $150 or so, but that is cheaper than a new laptop! 

     

    Also, in the 99 times out of 100 that a system is messed up due to a son/nephew/whatever looking at porn, not once have the parents made the kid pay for the repair bill.  It stinks and drives DH crazy but what can you do.  

  • You have no proof that it was the 14 year old, a strong possibility for a 14 boy, but you have no proof. It could be Dad for all you know lol. I realize your frustration of your stuff being touched without your permission but it happens. After you talk to the in-laws and they made the decison to let it go so should you. It would have been nice if they took your word and decided to pay you and make there kid work to pay them back. But thats best case scenario. As the other post said you were living under their roof. You should not have your hand out for anything! Just trip the kid as he walks past at easter dinner, if it makes you feel better.Just being silly, but please dont let this snowball out of control into something that can not be settled.
  • I agree with Dee8915, don't let this snowball.  It's just not worth it.
  • I'd shut up about it and count myself grateful. I cannot imagine living rent free with my inlaws, spending money on a vacation which you can afford by not paying rent, and then demanding that they repair a two year old computer that was damaged by persons unknown.

    Get it fixed on your own dime, and drop it. You're living in someone else's house; you're not in charge. You want total privacy? Want to make all the rules? Get out and pay for your own place.

     

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  • image WendyGR:
    I'd make the 14 year old pay, or at least work off the price of a replacement laptop. That's old enough to learn the hard way.

    Bingo!!! And since your H is the one who is related to the horny little douche in training, he should be the one talking to his brother and then have a talk with his parents.

    You should go out and buy a new laptop in the meantime. The little brother can work off his debt by mowing the lawn, helping paint your new house, etc.

    I really shouldn't be surprised by the amount of replies that say the 14 year old has no responsibility and yet I am.

    Also, the parents might want to check their credit cards and bank statement. If captain horny pants is dumb enough and irresponsible enough to use his SIL's laptop for his own personal jerkoff sessions, it's likely he might be racking up charges on whomever's account he can't get his little hands on.



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  • Reformat the hard drive for free yourself (it's not hard) or take it somewhere and for around $75 the will pull the data off your HD and reformat.  That way you dont lose your data (pics, word docs, etc).

     If your friend reformatted...wiped the HD clean..and your still having probs then its probably not a virus but a HD or motherboard problem...and then you would look like a giant ass for accusing your BIL.

  • WahooWahoo member
    Ancient Membership 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker

    Staples is doing a free PC checkup until April.  I don't know what the "catch" is - but you could at least get a fair estimate about what the costs would be.

    I would not talk to the ILS.  A 14 year old is responsible for his own actions.  I think your DH should tell his brother that your computer is down b/c of a virus from an adult site, and you both know he was the one at the site.  (do you know it was the 14 year old, and not FIL?).  You might not get any $ from him, but he deserves to know what he did was uncool and what happened as a result.

    If you were living for free or cheap at the ILS, you would be a jerk to ask them for compensation.  

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
  • No need to have them pay for it. Have your friend first back up your files: burn CDs, use a USB drive or something like that. Grab your windows installation CD (the one that came with your laptop)  and have your friend reinstall Windows and you should be good to go. Make absolutely sure that you back up your files though because it will format your hard drive and erase ALL your files but that's good because then your computer will basically be like how it was when you first bought it. GL with it:)
  • image Wahoo:

    Staples is doing a free PC checkup until April.? I don't know what the "catch" is - but you could at least get a fair estimate about what the costs would be.

    I would not talk to the ILS.? A 14 year old is responsible for his own actions.? I think your DH should tell his brother that your computer is down b/c of a virus from an adult site, and you both know he was the one at the site.? (do you know it was the 14 year old, and not FIL?).? You?might not get any $ from him, but he deserves to know what he did was uncool and what happened as a result.

    If you were living for free or cheap at the ILS, you would be a jerk to ask them for compensation.??

    I was just going to mention this offer. ?I have the coupon, and if they are requiring it, I will mail you mine. ?Just PM me.?

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