August 2006 Weddings
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I need your advice!

Hello everyone! It's been a while. I hope everyone is doing well! I try to read up whenever I have a spare minute, but those are pretty rare between work and school. Anyway, I would really appreciate your advice on something.

Right now, DH and I are living in a little apartment, but with our lease coming up in May DH has said that he really wants to rent a house. I'm open to the idea, but it's hard to find a decent place in a decent neighborhood in our price range.

Meanwhile, out of the blue my mom got a job offer for a job here in OKC, but she still lives 2.5 hrs outside the city. So she has proposed that the three of us (her, DH, and myself) rent a house together since she doesn't want to sell her house in our hometown.?

My first reaction is No, No, No, and NO! Because we're a young married couple and the last thing I want is to be the way too young couple who got married just to live with my mother (partly b/c she offered to pay for everything). We're making it fine on our own, so it's not like we NEED to live with her. Most importantly, I feel like we would lose a lot of the freedom that you have living on your own, which is a huge deal for me. ?

However, at the same time it would still be much more economical for us to just live together and split all the costs down the middle (no way am I letting her pay for everything.) DH and I could save more for a future home and my mom wouldn't be stuck paying the same amount for a little apartment that she only uses during the work week. It would also mean a much nicer place in an excellent neighborhood for all of us.?

What would you do? I could really go either way at this point.?

Re: I need your advice!

  • am very close to my mom, and he is very close to his mom (and we like our MILs) but we would NEVER do it.
  • Hi, E&U! Good to see you here.

    My immediate reaction is noooooooooo. I love my rents, and so did Ex, but we never ever ever would've done it. Every couple is different, though.

  • I would absolutely not do a lease together.  If it were a temporary situation (like renting from her or staying with her for a couple of months), that would be one thing... but a year's lease is semi-permanent... it would be home to both of you.  That's too much, IMHO. 
  • Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with the others here. My SIL, whom I love dearly, is living with us right now. We get along great, she does her part, so it's really pretty much ideal. BUT, it's hard on our relationship. It's hard not to be alone, pretty much ever. It's just hard. I wouldn't recommend it.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • E&U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Big Smile

    I think you should ask yourself, how much is your privacy worth? How much is your freedom worth? How much is your sanity worth? How much is your marital health worth? How much are these things worth to your husband? Try to quantify this. If it turns out that these things are not valued as much as the net savings when living with your mother, then do it.

    That said, as much as I love my mother, if it were me, I wouldn't do it.

    Good luck!

  • Okay so I know you're all right and it really makes my decision easier. I mean I knew staying on our own was the right way to go, but there's no such thing as an easy decision when I'm involved! lol So thank you ladies! =)

  • Absent something completely catastrophic, we'd never move in with either of our parents (or conversely, have our parents move in with us).

    I don't know what it's like in your area, but here, houses in the "college" neighborhoods are hella expensive to rent. But, if you go a little farther out, it becomes much more reasonable. Have you checked into that? 

  • image Elizabeth81:

    I don't know what it's like in your area, but here, houses in the "college" neighborhoods are hella expensive to rent. But, if you go a little farther out, it becomes much more reasonable. Have you checked into that??


    Yeah I have, but so far they're all way out of the way and would mean a really bad, long commute for both of us. Right now we're in a perfect spot for our commute; we're both 20 mins away from my school and his work so I think I will talk to him again about renting these really nice apartments that are a few blocks away.

    I had emailed myself a house from craigslist that has a MIL suite with a separate living space. I just deleted it so I don't accidentally mention it to my mom and she tries to convince me again. ?

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