So H and I have been together almost 5 years, and much of that time his family ( who live nearby) spent really working hard to drive me and him apart - to the point of trying to introduce him to other women AFTER we were married. BIL/SIL even stormed out in the middle of our wedding ceremony, later claiming that they "just couldn't watch."
This is the Nest, so a preemptive "why do they hate you so much?" 1. My ethnic and religious background don't match their idea of human perfection; 2. My H has a child with his ex-GF, and they feel it was inexcusable that he brought a stepparent into that child's life. In short, they're a few french fries short of a happy meal.
My dad lives a few states away (which is a sore spot for him). He met my ILs for the first time at our wedding, which wasn't a positive encounter. Our families seen each other since; that was 2 years ago.
I recently was crushed to get a (seemingly unexpected) email from my dad a few weeks ago saying he dislikes my husband and does not support our plans to adopt.
The other day, I learned that the reason for my dad's email was that my BIL, as well as my H's uncle (uncle has a diagnosis as mentally ill, and I bet BIL prob would too if he but down the damm Bible and got the medical attention he needs) took it upon themselves to google my dad's place of work, and call him there to tell him the most off the wall lies: DH is physically abusing me to the point of putting me in the ICU, he was married when I met him, he abandoned me by the side of the road late at night in a bad neighborhood, etc (much of this stuff that can be disproven legally). Completely baseless BS, but really, if more than one person was telling you this about your only living child, it's so serious that you can't really laugh it off.
My dad has had a very UGLY confrontation with my husband over this; H is so hurt and upset that someone would believe this stuff about him that he can barely talk to my dad.
My dad thinks I am in denial, etc, and (can you blame him?) is disgusted with me for staying in what he thinks is an abusive marriage. My a-hole inlaws are driving a huge wedge between us; it's like if they can't split up me and my husband, they can turn my dad against me. And he's choosing to take the word of these silvertongued sociopaths over his own flesh and blood. I am gutted.
We have not had contact with either BIL or H's uncle and aunt for a very long time, due to their negative attitude towards me. Unfortunately, they're spinning a very different story to my dad.
Advice, wisdom, solutions? I've already lost enough family members, I'm not about to let some douchebags drive a wedge between me and my dad.