Family Matters
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Catholic help needed - baptism donations

What would you "tip" the priest?  I've read online that some priests take it as income and others give it to the church as a donation.  Another person suggested a gift card for a restaurant.  I could do one that could be used at Olive Garden, Red Loster and Smoky Bones or maybe Max and Irma.

 Also the church is letting us use the onsite hall for free so I want to do a donation for that.  

 So how much should I give for each (cash, gift card or check)?  Can you also mention your area of the the country you live in?

Re: Catholic help needed - baptism donations

  • When my DH and I got married in the church we had a very intimate ceremony and wanted to tip the priest.  We gave ours a 30 dollar gift certificate to a restraunt.  If you give a priest a monetary gift it has to be donated to the church he can't use it.  But if you give him a gift certificate he can.  As far as a donation for the hall I think 50 dollars would work for that.

    We live in central PA

  • We gave our Pastor $50 for our wedding and the Organist $50.  We also gave $50 to the Church janitor (yes we did clean up after ourselves) but better safe then sorry.  This was all in the Church I grew up in and that is pretty standard.

    Wedding in Oklahoma 


  • Check with the church as for my nephew's baptism their chruch would not accept a donation for a baptism.

  • The priest has taken a vow of poverty and won't be able to accept cash of checks for his own personal benefit, he would have to donate it to the church. If you want something for him, it would need to be either a gift card or something you purchase and give to him.

  • We tipped $100 for our wedding (DC) and the altar boys $25each.  Organist just got his regular pay, no tip.

    We have never tipped for a baptism - our priest said (at our tiny parish) he didn't accept any.  We know him pretty well and might do a "personal gift" of a g.c or bottle of alcohol.

  • We're pretty active in our parrish and our priest knows us well.  He doesn't take tips so a week before the baptism we had him over for a "family night."  We had a nice dinner and thenwatched a movie  (Our priest and DH are HUGE movie buffs.)  It was TOUGH coming up with a movie that would be appropriate towatch with a priest!

    We figured that since our priest lives alone at the rectory, the thing he would like most would be to have company and hospitality.

    Of course we also invited him when we took our family out for brunch the morning of the baptism.

  • When we married we gave out priest baseball tickets; he's a Phillies fan. A GC gives him the option of using it or passing it onto someone who could.

    I have family friend who is a priest who often donates his to raffle baskets or even to those who are having a rough patch- like a couple who is out of work and have a celebration date coming. He often speaks of the isloation, of being apart, as a priest. Dinner and a DVD would be right up his street.

    Not all priests take a vow of poverty like religious brothers and nuns do. Most parish of diosecean priests don't. Typically those who belong to religious orders do.

  • My uncle is a priest and did our DD's baptism. He pushed off our attempts to tip him.  But with all of the expenses we happily paid, I really wanted to give him something, too. He gave it to the fund for the poor at his parish and we got a very nice note.  If that's what he wanted to do with it, I think that was great.  Its not that a priest isn't "allowed" to spend it on himself, its that he believes in giving it to their community.

    $50- NY

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • $50 should be good.
  • The priest has taken a vow of poverty and won't be able to accept cash of checks for his own personal benefit, he would have to donate it to the church. If you want something for him, it would need to be either a gift card or something you purchase and give to him.

    That's certainly not true for all priests!  They may take a vow of poverty, but the priest who married us was happy to get a check!!!  It enabled him to spend money for his own hobbies (golf, I think).  Just ask if you can write him a check. 

    We gave $300 to the priest who married us, but didn't give anything to the guy who baptised our kids.  We did pay a fee to the church, however.

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
  • Completely OT, but my SIL is a Marcy too! She said she rarely sees it spelled that way (always Marcie) and she has never found anything  personalized with her name.

    It's one of my goals in life to find something mass-produced with her name on it!

    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • We gave our priest $100, but he refused to take it and told us to start DD's college fund with it (he's a PhD and college professor as well as a priest).  We donated an icon of Saint Elizabeth to the church instead.

    If the priest will accept it, $50-100 is pretty standard from what I've heard (I'm in Georgia; sister in California; cousin in Colorado -- all three of us have baptized babies in the past year or will baptize in the coming year).  You can always check with the parish secretary to see if he'll accept it or if you're better off giving a gift card or making a donation to the parish.

    To clarify the vow of poverty: that's only true of priests who are also members of religious orders (Jesuits, Franciscans, Benedictines, etc.)  Priests and vowed religious take the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience; diocesan priests don't.  I work with an order of priests, though, and while they don't accept cash, they'll accept a nice dinner out or a bottle of wine or tickets to an event.

    "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards