Sex & Romance
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we have to have sex!

 my mom is staying over, uninvited, she won't leave, our house os too small for her, I'm stressed out and i'm horney. she can hear everything from the living room, not to mention you have to walk though the bed room to get to the bath room, so we can never even close the door and make out quietly! would it be absurd to sneak out and have some alone time in a conservation area like we did when we were teens? Any ideas? tight on cash, motel not an option. besides i'm not paying for a place to have sex, that is what i pay rent for! should i kill my mom? jk

Re: we have to have sex!

  • just wait until she goes to sleep and then you guys just have to be quiet.
  • Why not jump into the shower with him?

    Sex with no noise...hey, it could be fun -- why not give it a shot?

    That said, dude...couples have sex. I'm sure your mother knows this, also.

     and that yr mother is there uninvited is a whole other problem in itself -- eh, wow, start setting boundaries. You don't run a free hotel, hostel or room service.

  • I would probably kick her out but that's just my bad manners lol.  Just go for it after she's asleep.  I always found trying to stay quiet during sex to be much more exciting.  Give it a try!
  • I'd say extremely loud freaky circus sex would be best.  Lots of ridiculously loud moaning and groaning.  Bang the headboard against the wall.  Break something.  Scream dirty stuff.  I don't care if you're actually having sex or not, it needs to sound good.

    Run into the kitchen naked a few times so Mom can see you fetching spatulas, basting brushes, vegetable oil, or an egg beater for extra credit.  Make sure she sees you.  Then use said spatulas while making her pancakes for breakfast.  Throw in a couple pubes for good measure.



    ... You are trying to get her to leave, right? 

  • I would def find an excuse to leave and have sex.  Good Luck!
  • Snowday, you have me laughing so hard, I am going to wake my husband up!
  • You have to have what I called "college sex" which is when you do spooning sex but literally keep quiet. When you shared one room with a college roommate right above on the bunk bed you learn to orgasm without being loud, of course once mom goes you will have the crazy loud sex you like, hehhe!
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  • image snowday!:

    I'd say extremely loud freaky circus sex would be best.  Lots of ridiculously loud moaning and groaning.  Bang the headboard against the wall.  Break something.  Scream dirty stuff.  I don't care if you're actually having sex or not, it needs to sound good.

     

    This is what I was going to suggests also.  Snowday has given you some very good ideas (I especially like the egg beater, perhaps I'll try that tonight! HA!)

    This way you get rid of mom AND insure that she will never crash at your place uninvited ever again.

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  • image anonomity:
    image snowday!:

    I'd say extremely loud freaky circus sex would be best.  Lots of ridiculously loud moaning and groaning.  Bang the headboard against the wall.  Break something.  Scream dirty stuff.  I don't care if you're actually having sex or not, it needs to sound good.

     

    This is what I was going to suggests also.  Snowday has given you some very good ideas (I especially like the egg beater, perhaps I'll try that tonight! HA!)

    This way you get rid of mom AND insure that she will never crash at your place uninvited ever again.

    Lol! This is exactly what I was going to suggest.

    If she's staying there extended without an invite, I'd probably not give two shits about her hearing us, honestly. That's so rude.

    It's one thing to be polite, quiet and even abstain for short periods of time while guests are there... it's another entirely to invite yourself to stay at someone's house, especially when it's small.
  • She's staying at your place. You're married. Who gives a crap! Have sex! You're an adult and if she can't handle that then she can leave.

    JMHO

  • ITA with PP - especially Snowday.  Its YOUR place and SHE is the one staying uninvited.  Go ahead and have sex and don't worry about how loud you are.  If she doesn't like it, then she can leave.

    And maybe if you're loud enough, she will!

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  • image ChemBritt:

    She's staying at your place. You're married. Who gives a crap! Have sex! You're an adult and if she can't handle that then she can leave.

    JMHO

    My thoughts exactly!  I would go visit my parents and they would have LOUD sex, said it was theri house and they could if they wanted.  Hubby and I have sex with a 16, 12 and 10 year old in the house.

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