Trouble in Paradise
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Cheating....

Just found out that 10 years ago my husband slept with someone else while we were engaged. For me cheating has always been that one thing that would cross the line of not being able to come back from. I don't think he has cheated on me since then but I think if he had enough to drink in the future it could be possible. My friend is making me feel guilty about my feelings saying it was 10 years ago and just move on. If you were in my shoes could or forgive and move on or would you walk. Am I being unreasonable for holding this against him?

Re: Cheating....

  • GilliCGilliC member
    Ancient Membership 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2016
    JL2003 said:
    Just found out that 10 years ago my husband slept with someone else while we were engaged. For me cheating has always been that one thing that would cross the line of not being able to come back from. I don't think he has cheated on me since then but I think if he had enough to drink in the future it could be possible. My friend is making me feel guilty about my feelings saying it was 10 years ago and just move on. If you were in my shoes could or forgive and move on or would you walk. Am I being unreasonable for holding this against him?

    Only you can make that decision. You are not being unreasonable for holding it against him, and your friend is being a jerk for making you feel guilty about something that's frankly not his/her call.

    This was a huge violation of your trust, even if it was a long time ago, and it's not surprising that it's causing you to question his future behavior. If you know what you want to do, you should do it, because it's YOUR decision. If you don't know what you want to do, I would highly recommend seeing an individual therapist to talk everything through with someone who is unbiased (your friend clearly is not). Having a neutral sounding board can really help you figure out your own feelings.

    ETA after reading your other post - Your friend is a jerk. Your husband not only cheated on you, but he also used it as a way to make you feel bad in an argument?! Why on EARTH should you feel guilty about being upset with him?! You should be pissed as hell! Tell your friend to stuff it.
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