Trouble in Paradise
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Is this a concern ??

So I can't stop thinking about this. I found out right before I met my H he took a pic of a young girl (16 or so) he says she was 18 but she looked around 16 in pic.. He was 35 and married at the time. She was a babysitter who was watching the neighbors kids so that can give u idea she was young. She was in a bikini and he said his friend told him to send him a pic of her. So after his divorce we got married and I find this out. inhave a ten year old girl and sometimes I worry about what he will be thinking as she grows into a teen. Does this constitute someone being a pediphile ?jusy feel pretty bad about t and he gets super defensive and insists his friend asked him to take the pic. Idk

Re: Is this a concern ??

  • I would be concerned if this were my husband, especially considering your daughter. 
    This sounds like it's raised a red flag for you, trust your instincts.

    Even IF this pic was "for a friend"...it sounds like he was discussing this girl in her bikini with his friend, otherwise why would there be reason for the photo to be taken and shared?



  • Yes, this is a concern.  

  • you think so?? I also found a pic of a random girls butt at the auto show from long ago.. Before me and all but still. It was a pic of her butt standing in front of her in line
  • You know it is, or you wouldnt be asking.
    If this isnt MUD


  •   A photo of somebody's butt?

    Geez, sometimes a shutter goes off and you don't delete the photo --- or could be he took a photo of somebody and then cropped it so that only the rear end shows.

    That photo is neither here nor there...or maybe somebody sent it to him.

    See my reply to you on the other thread.
  • So I can't stop thinking about this. I found out right before I met my H he took a pic of a young girl (16 or so) he says she was 18 but she looked around 16 in pic.. He was 35 and married at the time. She was a babysitter who was watching the neighbors kids so that can give u idea she was young. She was in a bikini and he said his friend told him to send him a pic of her. So after his divorce we got married and I find this out. inhave a ten year old girl and sometimes I worry about what he will be thinking as she grows into a teen. Does this constitute someone being a pediphile ?jusy feel pretty bad about t and he gets super defensive and insists his friend asked him to take the pic. Idk
    And how old are you, OP? Sounds like a very young person wrote this post.

    I am also wondering how well you knew this guy before you married him (just as an aside) because when there are kids you cannot rush into a marriage or a relationship, for that matter. YOu have to make sure he will stick around, that he is dependable and so forth --- even before you introduce the kid or kids to him --- because when you have kids it changes things quite a bit.
  • I replied to your other post, but I'm quite surprised at the alarm the other PPs have in their responses.  It's creepy he took a pic of a person without their knowing, but not AT ALL creepy that he found her attractive.

    Whether she was 16 or 18 doesn't really matter, as far as attractiveness goes.  Even by 16, most females have the bodies of an adult...not a child.  Most hetero men will find a 16-year-old girl with a fully formed figure attractive.  And any man with even the sense of a billy goat will not act on that attraction.  But the attraction itself does not make someone a pedophile.  Like you said, he thought she was 18.  What's the difference between a 16-year-old's body and an 18-year-old's body?  Generally speaking, nothing.

    Now, a 35-year-old hitting on a 16-year-old...knowing her age...is a sexual predator.  But that isn't what happened.

    Like I said in my other post, the only thing creepy about the situation is that he took a pic of an unsuspecting person...regardless of her age.  Hardly a deal breaker, though I would have a discussion about how inappropriate, invasive, and creeperific that was.

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