Trouble in Paradise
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Husband stays angry for days what can I do

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Re: Husband stays angry for days what can I do

  • edited January 2016
    ...and know what I will bet all of you, every single one of you who happen upon this thread?

    That the OP's wonderful H is happily carrying on an affair back in his country.

    Think about it: he is rude, he is distant and he doesn't care how he treats his wife.  He's probably got a piece of the action, happening right where he is right now.

    This might indeed reek of an affair....and I can only imagine how wonderful this other person is: how deserving is ANY girl of a guy like this one!

    He probably is in no hurry to leave his country, I will bet!
    magsugar13
  • tm8191 said:
    You guys are pretty rude to somebody who is here for advice 

    I dont see how I am "immature"  for not running to the divorce lawyer as fast as I can 

    But then again maybe we have different values on what marriage is. I am willing to give it a shot and see if it can get better 

    And if it doesnt ... THEN I will leave.  

    Thanks for all the Rude replies 
    You can go back and check allll my replies to people asking for marriage advice on this board, Relationships, and Married Life. I have only advised divorce when the OP said they'd found out about cheating and thought they wanted to pursue divorce. I am pretty boring and almost all the time advise marriage counseling. I didn't advise you to divorce ASAP either. Mostly, I think people need to come to that kind of decision on their own or with the help of counseling.

    The problem is that he lives in another country and won't respond to your attempts at communication. So you cannot go to marriage counseling together and he won't engage on a conversation about your relationship. I'm not sure what advice you want or will receive at this point. When I've suggested ways to have a conversation with him over skype, you've said he won't answer calls or texts. So you are not living together or seeing each other and now he refuses to talk to you. Over what? You liking some dude's picture on Instagram. 

    He is not acting like he is married to you and refuses to talk to you about the issues in your relationship. I don't think you understand how ludicrous it is to not talk to or see your spouse for weeks. When he does break his silent treatment, it's only to be sarcastic and say you're lying. 

    Is he just going to come here in 6 months when his visa goes through and what, you'll be better all of a sudden? Do you think he'll be talking to you then?
    short+sassy
  • Anyone else think it is hysterically funny how she thinks we are rude, and he husband is a keeper?



    VOR
  • Anyone else think it is hysterically funny how she thinks we are rude, and he husband is a keeper?

    Yah. If we are rude, then what is he?
    magsugar13
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2016

    Like @simplyelise, I'm rarely one to throw out the "leave/divorce" card.  Even in my own life, though in relationships, I've always hung on into the bitter end just in case there is something to salvage.  And I'll admit my advice tends to run that same course also.

    But even I was, initially, actually a bit excited for her that she can get out of this terrible marriage fairly easily since he can't even come to this country yet.  Hopefully she will see the light before he gets here and can just annul or divorce before the visa process is done.

    However, the bottom line is, she isn't ready to leave.  And she needs to come to that realization in her own time.

    OP, if you are still keeping an eye on this post, something else to think about.  The first two years of marriage are the "honeymoon phase".  Generally, this is when things are still shiny, happy, and new.  This should be the best of times.  But if you all are having blow-up fights, name calling, and silent treatments before the ink is even dry on your marriage certificate...there is nowhere to go from here but down.

    TarponMonoxide
  • Like @simplyelise, I'm rarely one to throw out the "leave/divorce" card.  Even in my own life, though in relationships, I've always hung on into the bitter end just in case there is something to salvage.  And I'll admit my advice tends to run that same course also.

    There was never anything for the OP in this "marriage."  I can't figure out why she even bothered with this guy at all.

    And if you permit yourself to play this asinine cat and mouse game, you've got to be a little nutso. Gotta be. Where's the common sense in this? You let somebody treat you indecently and you play his game, his way?
    magsugar13
  • VORVOR member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    Anyone else think it is hysterically funny how she thinks we are rude, and he husband is a keeper?

    Ha.  I didn't think of it this way.  Good point. WE'RE actually here trying to talk to her.  Her DH can't even do that.  But WE'RE the rude ones... lol.

    I also really don't understand the 'cultural differences' differences argument.  Culture really doesn't explain immaturity and being unable to act like an adult.
    TarponMonoxide
  • VOR said:
    Anyone else think it is hysterically funny how she thinks we are rude, and he husband is a keeper?

    Ha.  I didn't think of it this way.  Good point. WE'RE actually here trying to talk to her.  Her DH can't even do that.  But WE'RE the rude ones... lol.

    I also really don't understand the 'cultural differences' differences argument.  Culture really doesn't explain immaturity and being unable to act like an adult.
    Nor does it vouch for the fat you are to treat others civilly and yeah, act like an adult.

    This is a mess and the OP is 90% of it: do you need a roof to fall in on you? Do you like being frozen out for days at a time and only when he feels up to it and is less of a Mr. Hyde he decided to grace you with his presence???
  • Well guess what the divorce petition is being filed next week -  After he completely abandoned me once again on all levels and his brother tried to manipulate me,  I went directly to my lawyer and put sh**t into action.  

    Good bye and Good Riddance to HIM!!! 

    OH and all action has been stopped regarding petition for alien spouse.  One and done get out my life.  


    short+sassy
  • tm8191 said:
    Well guess what the divorce petition is being filed next week -  After he completely abandoned me once again on all levels and his brother tried to manipulate me,  I went directly to my lawyer and put sh**t into action.  

    Good bye and Good Riddance to HIM!!! 

    OH and all action has been stopped regarding petition for alien spouse.  One and done get out my life.  


    Thanks for coming back with an update.  Although its an unfortunate situation all around, at least you are able to nip this marriage in the bud before he moved to this country and before you wasted any more time on him.  Looking back 5-10 years from now when things are no longer fresh, I suspect you'll see this experience as just a small negative bump in your life that you rarely give any thought to.
    stillanestie
  • Divorce trial set for next month.   95% sure it will be granted by default as he has ignored all service and blatanly told me he refuses to sign because he is angry im divorcing him.   

    Thanks to the people on here who were not UNKIND or RUDE during a very difficult time for me.   Everyone goes through sh::t in their lives and no ody deserves to be spoken down to as a few of you have.  One person specifically more than others.   


    Nobody is perfect, we are all different and thats the beauty of being human. So if some of you cannot give constructive advice without making despairiging comments you should really shut the F up and get the F off these boards.    Reading back some of the comments were quite abusive and really should be reported.  Thats not what these boards are for. 

    Anyways.... hopefully this will all be over by next month.  How ironic would it be if i ended up signing the divorce decree the same day we married. Ha.  

    Anxiosly awaiting trial. Ugh!
  • tm8191 said:
    Divorce trial set for next month.   95% sure it will be granted by default as he has ignored all service and blatanly told me he refuses to sign because he is angry im divorcing him.   

    Thanks to the people on here who were not UNKIND or RUDE during a very difficult time for me.   Everyone goes through sh::t in their lives and no ody deserves to be spoken down to as a few of you have.  One person specifically more than others.   


    Nobody is perfect, we are all different and thats the beauty of being human. So if some of you cannot give constructive advice without making despairiging comments you should really shut the F up and get the F off these boards.    Reading back some of the comments were quite abusive and really should be reported.  Thats not what these boards are for. 

    Anyways.... hopefully this will all be over by next month.  How ironic would it be if i ended up signing the divorce decree the same day we married. Ha.  

    Anxiosly awaiting trial. Ugh!

    It should be granted by default: he did not sign.:(

    Why a trial? How come it's not a meeting with a judge and in a half hour or so, the divorce is final? That's how it was done on my end...and he did not sign, either. Was by default.
  • Divorce got pushed back until Jan. 31 (next week Tuesday) 

    To all the haters who were talking crap about me I never said he was a keeper or a wonderful person - As any person with common sense knows ending a relationship involves alot of feelings and emotions - and at the time of posting this I was going through it! That is what the boards are here for.  Not meat to be verbally slandered by strangers, its made for constructive help.  Maybe some feel more than others! Ultimately I did what I KNEW I needed to do... because I am not an idiot like SOME of you implied. 

    Once my divorce is final on Jan. 31, the Turkish Embassy of Chicago (where I live) will grant my divorce in Turkey as well so it is recognized both places.


    I still have had zero contact with him, minus a few attempts to ask about papers and if he has signed, nothing but verbal abuse on his end so just re-blocked and did not respond.   I wonder if I should unblock him to let him know the divorce is final and done or just say F him and leave it a mystery to him.  He does not deserve the courtesy. 
  • AND GUESS WHAT.   THE DIVORCE IS FINISHED.   I AM NO LONGER MARRIED TO THIS A- HOLE. 
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