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Question about backing out of hosting Baby Shower

Hi Everyone,

I think I need a Sanity Check. I so badly wanted to host a baby shower for a friend of mine that I've known for about two years and when I offered she seemed really excited. I LOVE throwing showers-- and I often go way overboard-- but in a good way. Well, I sent her 8-10 dates to choose from starting at around 7 months of pregnancy for her...Saturdays and Sundays, alike. (6 months in advance.) I sent her a note to see if she had decided on a date with her family and she came back and said that they can't do a Saturday or Sunday because she has to work Saturday and Sunday nights and won't be able to change work schedules. 

I was heartbroken for a few reasons 1) I can't host a Friday night shower with my work schedule-- I travel a lot and won't be able to take a day off that time of year because of that, 2) I don't even think she even looked into swapping a schedule with a coworker.

So, I sent her a note apologizing and saying that I was so sorry but think it's better to pass the hosting baton onto someone who can host an amazing shower for them on a Friday evening and that I would be happy to share any of the other planning items I have already started (invitations, etc.) if they would like, and that if they go ahead with a Friday night shower, and I'm not traveling, that I would be there "with bells on (and an awesome gift, too!)."

Did I do the wrong thing?


Re: Question about backing out of hosting Baby Shower

  • I am not a baby shower expert by any means but I have never heard of one being at night. 

    To me that is the part that sounds odd to me.

    And please don't be offended by this but I'm also confused as to why you and her both can't take a day off of work that is 7 months from now.

  • I think it's ok. I wouldn't expect a friend to take off work to throw a shower for me. Unfortunately, dates didn't work out. It is a bummer, but a justifiable reason to back out of hosting, IMO.
    IUI - BFP! Baby boy born still - August 2012
    IVF - BFP - miscarriage June 2013
    FET - BFN
    FET - BFN
    Switched clinics
    IVF with PGD - three embryos created, all healthy - July 2014
    FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
    Baby Boy born July 2015

    FutureMrsWright2012nfp147COtoNC
  • nfp147nfp147 member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think it's ok. I wouldn't expect a friend to take off work to throw a shower for me. Unfortunately, dates didn't work out. It is a bummer, but a justifiable reason to back out of hosting, IMO.


    This.  I wouldn't take a day off work to host a baby shower.  It sounds like you did what you could and it didn't work out.

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  • I don't think you did the wrong thing, but I'm confused as to why she can't take a Saturday or Sunday off for her own baby shower six months away. I would think a baby shower would be a big enough deal to warrant time off from work... but then again, I AM biased.
    COtoNC
  • COtoNCCOtoNC member
    First Comment
    Thanks, everyone! I also asked my mom what I should do (after having already backed out), and she basically told me to do exactly what I did. I feel better about it, but hopefully it doesn't hurt the relationship!
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