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Relocating for Husband's Job

Hello Nesties!  I'm looking for some advice/feedback on relocating.  About a month ago my husband's company announced they were selling, and layoffs were a possibility.  He's fairly new to his team, so he started looking for new opportunities.   For a while now we have wanted to move to Colorado, so he applied there to see what his options were.  To be honest, we weren't really expecting anything to come of it at least for few months during which time we could make a plan.  In a lighting fast turn of events he was interviewed and offered a job that is to start in 3 weeks!  I'm so happy for him, and he is taking the job, but now we have to make some big decisions very quick.

My first question is - do I move with him?  We are a 2 income family, so I work full time.  I started a new position last November, and am hesitant to leave with less than a year on my resume.  Has anyone made this kind of move that can offer some insight?  Financially, it's about the same amount of $$ if we move on just his salary v. me staying and paying rent, utilities, ect in 2 places, let alone adding in the travel costs of long distance.  BUT I don't want to make a major career mistake by leaving a job too soon and looking like a jumper. I have started applying in CO, but they say it takes 6-9mo for the average person to find a new job. 

My second question - any tips for a major relocation?  It's just the 2 of us (no kids) and we currently rent which should make it a little easier.  We booked a trip out there next week to start looking at apartments.  I haven't moved cities in quite some time, so any suggestions on things to consider/look into would be much appreciated! 

Thank you all!  Sorry for the long post.

Re: Relocating for Husband's Job

  • Congratulations to you both!  That is great news.  But I can see your dilemma.  I honestly don't think it would look bad on your resume because there is a legitimate reason you are leaving your job.  And the way you could subtly show that on your resume is to put the city, state underneath the name of each company you have worked for.  Like:

    ABC Company                                            11/2014-7/2015

    Taos, New Mexico

    XYZ Company                                             1/2010-11/2014

    Taos, New Mexico

    Except no double space between the company name and city, lol.

    What that will tell a recruiter in Colorado is that you have recently moved to Colorado and hence why you were at your previous job a short time.

    The only two caveats I would give to that advice is if you already have a resume with some job hopping and/or if you are in a career/industry where it is especially unusual or look extra bad for a shorter than usual job length.

    As for a major relocation, have your husband ask either HR or whomever he might have spoken with the most at the new job, for neighborhood recommendations.  Check crime stats for different neighborhoods.  If you find a house/apartment you are interested in, go back at night also to make sure it has a comfortable vibe.

    I did a major relocation once.  I had my apartment rented out ahead of time.  They complex mailed me the key, since I knew I would be arriving on a Sat. night.  And I literally drove into town and immediately started moving my stuff in.

    Pack your mattress last so it is the first thing you take out...especially if you will be arriving in the evening ;), lol. 

  • I have been in basically  the same situation as you recently.  My husband got a job across the country and I am getting ready to move.  You could stay and live apart if that works for you, but I would think about the impact that will make on your marriage.  We knew we couldn't do it (we just wouldn't have been happy). So I updated the resume and started applying everywhere. I got lucky and also got a job out there.  So my biggest advice think about if you can live apart from each other and if so if it is short term or long term, will it be until you get a job and you will be applying to places in the meantime?

    In regards to your resume: don't stress about leaving a job in less than a year.  You have a great reason.  You had to relocate out of state. 

    Regarding how to make the move: Don't stress about it, get a uhaul pack it up make your friends come and help.  Moving is stressful if it is across the country or across the town.  Just focus on the big picture whatever that may be for you.

  • Congratulations!  I've also been through that, early in marriage, and one time I moved (but not until I had found a great job in the new city) and one time I didn't because we knew it would only be 1 or 2 years (it ended up being 1, thankfully).  Both times the distance was ~1000 miles, so a plane ride away for sure.  My career was very important to me, and my husband respected that.  You didn't mention your career field or the ease of finding a new job, but in my career (lawyer) it is much more difficult to find a position when currently unemployed - so there was never any question that I would not be moving without having a new job secured first.  

    My advice:  you really need to know your own relationship to know whether long distance, even in the short-term, can work for you.  My husband and I are both very independent, have maintained our own groups of friends, our separate interests (which we do both together and separately), and keep pretty busy - so being lonely wasn't a big concern.  BUT it can get pretty nasty if one of you is likely to blame the other for problems that arise - i.e., you blame him for moving away, he blames you for being selfish and not moving with him, you each accuse the other of not visiting often enough, etc. If you choose to remain apart for a period of time, you MUST regard it as a joint decision that is cumulatively best for both of you.

    Good luck!  Moving to a new city is definitely stressful, but just remember (if you move) that you are on the same team, you made a decision jointly that each of you now owns, and you need to get through the challenges together!

  • Great point about the joint decision!  You don't want to be in a situation down the road where one of you can bring up "well I moved here for you" when you're having a fight.
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