My H and I are 26 and we have been married almost 6 years. In the beginning of the marriage he found a part time job and I was looking and could not really find anything. Then about a year and half into the marriage he began a full time job and I did some temp jobs and some part time work as well. In the last 3 years or so I will not lie I have had not the greatest track record with jobs, in a year I think I ended up working at 4 different places. Either the fit wasnt right, or the working conditions were not right, whatever the reason(s) I did not stay in a job for long. I have however been working in the same job the past 2 years. My H has been in the same full time job for the last 5 years.
that being said, I bring up children with my H and he always throws up barriers to them. He says he wants them and I believe he does, but there is always a reason to wait, finances, jobs, family problems, whatever. When I try and find ways to fix the financial problems he listens to what I have to say, for example, I found a job listing doing exactly what he is doing now, just with a different place and it paid double what he is making now. He seemed excited about it and applied, however we never heard anything back from them. Now, I tell him I am going to apply a few places to try and get more stable financially and he throws in my face that he has kept his job for 5 years and I have been the one jumping from place to place...and continuing on from there. this is not the first time he has done this. He has brought this up before and when we talked about it he apologized and we moved on.
I just dont know how to keep reliving this for the rest of my life. I feel so inadequate and small when he does that. I feel like a failure. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.