Trouble in Paradise
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Opinions please. Is sexting cheating?

I need opinions please. If you knew your spouse was sexting another woman would you consider it cheating. How about if it was just once or what if it was multiple times? How would you feel if it was a friend of his that you trusted. Are they just words or cheating?

Re: Opinions please. Is sexting cheating?

  • Sexting is most definitely cheating.
    Some of my work.
  • Cheating. Get out.
  • Yes. Just once is cheating. Don't let him tell you otherwise.
  • Light flirting I'd be cool with.  Sexting is a type of cheating but, for me, not marriage ending.  It would warrant a serious discussion about why...do we have issues to work on...let's make our marriage better...and, of course, no more sexting. 
    dfulton808
  • VORVOR member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    Cheating.  Absolutely.  Don't let him gaslight you into believing there is nothing wrong going on here.
    NovaLova
  • Yes, any intimate connection is a form of cheating.  It may not be as severe as him actually having sexual relations with another person, but he is sharing something intimate with a person outside of marriage. I believe it is wrong. 

     Another thing to consider is, even if it weren't wrong, per se, the fact that it makes you sad and you don't like it should be reason enough for him to revaluate his actions rather than trying to excuse himself.  A serious discussion about where you both draw the line with other people is in order. 
    NovaLova
  • Of course it's cheating 
  • Yes. 

    And it's a moot point anyway because 99% guarantee you, that's not where it ends. 
  • Yes and to be honest it may even bother me MORE than actually hooking up with someone at a bar bc it would come off to me as desperate and kind of pathetic that he is putting all this premeditated thought into trying to seduce someone else 
    Me-27- DH- 38 -Moved to New York* TTC since August 2011, unexplained IF & PCOS HSG - both tubes clear Saline Ultrasound- clear SA- Normal January 2013- Started metformin 1500mg attempting micro IVF 2/8/2013 2/8/2013 Cycle- ganirelix, menopur, gonal F 3/3/2013- ER- 7 Eggs 3/4/2013- All 7 fertilize 3/8- ET
  • MAYBE? said:
    I need opinions please. If you knew your spouse was sexting another woman would you consider it cheating. How about if it was just once or what if it was multiple times? How would you feel if it was a friend of his that you trusted. Are they just words or cheating?
    No decent person, let alone a decent married man or decent married woman, would sext anybody at anytime.

    It is still cheating.  You also have no reassurance he has not has physically had sex with this person.

    your best bet: you no longer trust him. Show him the door and file; cheating of any kind is a dealbreaker. Once a cheater always a cheater.
  • GilliCGilliC member
    Ancient Membership 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2015
    No decent person, let alone a decent married man or decent married woman, would sext anybody at anytime.
    I agree that it's cheating, if you're doing it with someone outside of your relationship, but if two people who are in a relationship want to send sexy text messages to each other, I don't think it speaks to their decency. Sexting isn't my thing, personally, but if a couple enjoys it, there's nothing wrong with it.
    image
  • Only man I sext with is my husband This doesn't make us indecent people. It makes us a couple who likes to tease each other sexually via text. I've never heard of sexual conversations between a couple referred to as indecent. We aren't living in the Puritan era after all!  :))

    OP, I think you know the answer to this question but you are looking for reassurance that sexting is okay outside of a romantic relationship. It is inappropriate to sext with someone other than your spouse when you're married. 
  • Becky71Becky71 member
    Ancient Membership Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited January 2016
    Yep, what magsugar13 said!
  • You know the answer  to all of the above.
    Please don't let him convince you of anything different. Dont be that woman.
    And particularly don't believe "this is just a friend..."

    Gee, buddy, you always show a friend your dick?
  • Definitely! The relationship trust is broken!
    Anniversary
  • Yap, sexting IS cheating!

    It is just a matter of time when sexting will evolve into sex, so in your place, I would treat on that way.
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