After struggling to make ends-meet for over 10 years, my husband & I relocated across the country for higher-paying jobs with the promise of career-advancement in the very near future. In relocating we amassed personal debt (largely to family), knowing that with our new jobs, we would be able to pay it down within 1-2 years of moving here, in addition to paying off a large chunk of the looming debt we had been ignoring.
After 3 months (6 months for him), I am excelling in my new job, and he is looking at a promotion in the next few months. We have established a good group of friends here; however, their lifestyle leans towards the type that my husband was trying to leave behind, and he is falling back into a slump by being around them. He has lost motivation to go to the gym & run, and hasn't made any effort to meet new people that share his goals/lifestyle. His heart remains in our old home - where we left behind friends, and family.
Since arriving here, my husband has built a resentment up towards me - accusing me of forcing the move on him, to satisfy my pre-occupation with money. We argue often, and he frequently threatens to move back home - with or without me. He has set a "date" to move back home - one that I see as being entirely unattainable, as we would not have the money to drive back across the country, transport our belongings, and find new jobs & housing, by that date. I am willing to give up financial stability, and return to our lives - living pay cheque to pay cheque, if it means he returns to his normal self, and in turn, saves our marriage - but this would have to happen at least a year from now - once we've had time to save the money needed to make the move back. On the other hand, I wonder if I would grow to resent him for taking away our chance at a better, more stable future; one that would allow us to live our lives, splurge on vacations and traveling (like he's always wanted to do, but haven't had the financial means to follow through on).
Any advice on how to move forward, and negotiate with him would be appreciated.