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Bad Wife- Rant

bekt14bekt14 member
10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its
edited October 2014 in 9 to 5
So I just got married 2 weeks ago - yay! - but the people at work are driving me crazy about it!

We had a super short honeymoon because I didn't have any vacation time left at work. As soon as we got back all my coworkers kept saying "didn't you just get married? Why aren't you at your honeymoon???'" Well... because we get such little vacation time here that's why! Trust me, we would have taken a MONTH long honeymoon if we could have. 

This week my to-do list is extremely long and I'm working over-time to get it done- like a good little worker. Yesterday I had THREE people come by my office in the evening and say "Why are you here? Shouldn't you be cooking dinner for your husband?" "Shouldn't you be at home taking care of your husband?" "Why aren't you at home with your husband?" ...REALLY?? what century do we live in???? We are trying to save money to buy a house next spring, so I am going to work my butt of to earn that! I would love to spend more time at home with my husband, but we have agreed that the next 6 months are about saving as much money as possible to get our dream house!

I LOVE my job! I LOVE working! I'm a career-oriented person. I'm not someone who wants to quit my job and stay at home as soon as I get married. We have agreed that my husband will be the stay at home parent when we have kids and I will be the working parent. Apparently that is an extremely foreign concept to everyone at my company. I know they are just trying to be cute and funny, but after the 20th time.. it's not funny anymore. I feel like they are all judging me for being a bad wife. 

Re: Bad Wife- Rant

  • I know what you mean from past jobs I've worked at. Luckily where I am now it's mostly women, and women who like to work. I just say.. keep doing what works for you and your husband and it's good you have the plan figured out already (meaning who will stay home, etc). I know other people can be annoying but at the end of the day, it's up to your hubby and you how you will live your lives. Keep on rockin it!
  • Thanks for the encouragement! I mostly work with mid-aged men with kids... and a lot of them have stay-at-home wives. So, I think they have a different perspective on things. 
  • Yeah they have a different perspective - one from 30 years ago.  I work with a lot of military guys and retired military guys and as macho as some of them can be they sure as hell have never implied to me that I should be at home making dinner for my husband.  That would drive me nuts.

  • Do what works for you and your Hubbie!!! As long as you guys are on the same page with things then that is ALL that matters!!! Tell them to mind their own business and just shake them off!!
  • I good flat stare with a "your kidding right?" works wonders and then put your earbuds in and turn back to the computer. 
  • I feel like people at work just say stupid things sometimes. Like when you are pregnant they only ever talk to you about pregnancy things- i would try to just ignore the annoying comments and steer the conversation into topics you actually like talking to them about (if there are any) so you won't just be the random person who just got married.
    Me-27- DH- 38 -Moved to New York* TTC since August 2011, unexplained IF & PCOS HSG - both tubes clear Saline Ultrasound- clear SA- Normal January 2013- Started metformin 1500mg attempting micro IVF 2/8/2013 2/8/2013 Cycle- ganirelix, menopur, gonal F 3/3/2013- ER- 7 Eggs 3/4/2013- All 7 fertilize 3/8- ET
  • Sometimes I think people criticize the things in others that they see as "strengths," that they don't have the willpower or drive to do themselves.  By criticizing it, they are reinforcing to themselves, their decision not to be that way.  Perhaps some of these men honestly wish their wives would have pursued careers so they'd have that in common to talk about them with at the day's end.  Perhaps they even resent their wives in that they get to stay home and don't have to work when there are women like you that push themselves to succeed in a career.  If the vacation days come up again regarding your honeymoon, you could jokingly respond that no one donated extra vacation days for you to use and that was why it wasn't longer.  UGH - some people!
  • Don't worry, I'm getting married on a Saturday and going back to work on the Tuesday {long weekend}
    I'm saving my vacation for our honeymoon that'll be about 6 months later.

    People need to get with the times!
  • I'd totally be on your side if I was your co-worker. Life doesn't end when you get married. Geez.
  • Wow, those comments are very inappropriate! I am the kind of wife who cooks dinner for her husband and spends a lot of time with him, but that is only how we choose to conduct our marriage for reasons that make sense to us. I would never try to impose my ideals on any other woman. 

    Sometimes it feels like women can't win. If we are traditional, we will get sneered at for being anti feminist. If we are career women, we get static for not focusing on our relationships enough. 

    You and your husband know that you are a good wife and that is all that matters. Congratulations on your new marriage! =D>
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