forgive me if this is a bit strange. I would like some unbiased opinions on a situation I'm dealing with.
Quick back story: I am the product of an affair from 1986 and as such did not have my father around all that much. He kind of came and went as he pleased. When I was 15 he finally told his wife about me and his indiscretions with my mother. He told me he would make an effort to be In my life more. This unfortunately did not happen because his wife couldn't handle the heartache that was my presence. So, he split... Again. I am 28 years old and since then have talked to him 3 or so times and seen him once (all in secret of course) which is why it's been more than 4 years since our last contact. I am not down with all the secrecy now that I am an adult.
Here is the dilemma: I am happily married with an amazing 1 year old boy. I know that a relationship between my father and I will not happen. I have more or less accepted this. But I know he would enjoy seeing a picture and a short note about his grandson. I do not necessarily want or need him in his life but I just feel like he should know about my son. On the other hand, I think to myself "if you know it will never be a meaningful relationship then what would be the point?" It's probably those pesky abandonment issues creeping up on me again but I'm curious as to what an outsider would suggest. Any opinion is helpful. Don't be shy... But please also, don't be hateful.