Hi, I have been married for almost 3 years now. My husband and I are in our twenties and are 4 years apart, he is older. Lately (probably about a year or so actually) I have been having a lot of conflicting thoughts about being married. Me and my husband share a lot of the same interests and get along very well, I mean he really is my best friend, but sometimes I just don't see myself being with him forever. First of all he is an only child raised by a single mom that spoiled him to no end. When we met and when we lived together before we were married he had me under the impression that he paid all of his own bills, etc. even though his mom was really taking care of it. Even now his mom pays some of his bills and other things for him. What bothers me about that is the fact that he almost assumes that she should or doesn't even make any effort to take over his own responsibilities, instead he spends his money that could pay those bills on a new "toy" or whatever else he "has to have". I am a pretty independent woman working full time and trying to get by so it gets under my skin that I have a husband that doesn't think twice about having his older single mom pay his bills while he throws his money at other non essential things.
On top of that, I constantly feel like I am having to take over the role of being his mom when we don't even have kids. He is 4 years older than me yet I am the one who has to completely stay on top of everything for bills, the house, basically everything-Including working over 40+ hrs. He also is horrible with money! I have basically had to step up and figure out everything with finances alone just to be able to afford all of the nice things that he always wants. He is more than happy to put all of that on me on top of everything else I do and Its almost impossible for me to keep up with. If we ever fight about this issue he always throws it in my face that he makes more money than me (barely) yet every week he runs out of money and I have to cover a lot of our and his expenses. I'm just at the point where I realize that this is the way he is and will always be. No its not the worst thing to have to deal with but at the same time I feel like I am being used up and not enjoying my life like I used to be able too. He is a great loving man and there are days where he makes me the happiest person and we have wonderful times, but then it always goes right back to me having to take care of everything. Maybe I got married too young or maybe to the wrong person or maybe we have a great marriage and I just don't know what else to compare it to. Like I said, I'm confused. I know he's 100% into staying together but lately I'm at the point where I would be ok if we weren't married. I'm very laid back so I let a lot of stuff go but I just don't even care anymore and don't feel like staying married to a man that I don't even want to have kids with anymore.
Anyone else deal with anything like this? Is it a phase? And of course there is way more to the story but I already typed a novel up there. I would really appreciate everyone's input. I have a horrible habit of arguing both sides to every situation, which is why I came here. But I only have one life and I think I am at a crossroads where I have to make a choice. Thanks!