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Messy in-laws

I always get nervous when my fiancé's parents and five siblings (and sometimes his 2 y.o. cousin) come over because they always make a huge mess! They try to help clean up, but I'm so particular about how I keep my home and how I like it cleaned, so I end up cleaning after they leave anyway. They're coming over for the day tomorrow (my fiancé is off work and I work until 3 pm), and they're going to have lunch at our house. We just bought a new townhome and it's not exactly adequate space to entertain an additional 7-8 people, nevermind the fact that we've only been there about a month and are still settling in. How do I handle this? I have the tendency to try to control the situation and I come off as rude to them because I don't want them to just make a mess and think it's ok. My fiancé won't enforce how I feel because, well, he's a guy and makes a huge mess himself -- and he's very defensive of his family and basically lets them do whatever they want. Help! :(

Re: Messy in-laws

  • That's quite rude of you to say....guests should have respect regardless of who they are or where they are. It's not my "issues" I asked for advice on ... so thanks for missing my entire point!!!
  • mrsdela27 said:
    That's quite rude of you to say....guests should have respect regardless of who they are or where they are. It's not my "issues" I asked for advice on ... so thanks for missing my entire point!!!

    Then what is your point? You said they try to help you clean up after, and you also said you don't want to come off as rude. So all you can really do is let them clean up their way, and re-do it later. If you tell then they're too messy or tell then how to clean up, that's going to be rude and cause trouble. So your real options are to never have them over (not really fair to your DH) or keep cleaning up after they leave. I don't think @Ilumine‌ was being rude. Unless they are being truly disgusting, cleaning up after your guests is part of hosting a get-together.
    catmiss9Bubblegum5586
  • Solutions:

    1-Take them out to eat --- try a pizza place or something very inexpensive; everybody have pizza
    2-Eat outside. Serve sandwiches, chips and beverages. Take the easy way out; you can't go wrong with sandwiches and chips.

  • VORVOR member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    mrsdela27 said:
    They try to help clean up, but I'm so particular about how I keep my home and how I like it cleaned, so I end up cleaning after they leave anyway.

    But the bolded... that part is on you.

    What exactly do they do that is a "huge mess" and unacceptable to you?  And how are they cleaning wrong?  Give us more to work with than "they make a mess but I'm particular and come off as rude!!!". 


  • mrsdela27 said:
    That's quite rude of you to say....guests should have respect regardless of who they are or where they are. It's not my "issues" I asked for advice on ... so thanks for missing my entire point!!!
    Not rude at all.  

    You are the host and they are the guests.  They aren't even supposed to CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES.  That is part of the hosts' responsibility when they open their homes.  

    And again, unless they are truly being destructive - which I clearly notice you did not address in your above response - then this is all a YOU thing.  

    So unless/until you give us examples of what you consider "messy", this is all a difference of expectations.  

    And a host's expectations of cleanliness should not supersede his/her hospitality.  

    Oh and that whole piece..."he's a guy and makes a huge mess himself" is not only schlock, but a perfect example.  YOUR views on what/how things need to be cleaned are not the only/sole one.  

    And while I do believe that a couple needs to come to agreement on keeping their house in an order that makes both happy, that does not apply to one's guests. 
    [IMG]http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu52/Iluminespics/IMG_4759.jpg[/IMG]
    MrsAshleyH10
  • I think you're overreacting a bit here. First off, people all have their own opinions/methods when it comes to cleaning up. Second, I would never expect my guests to help clean up--- if they do-- bonus, if not oh well...

    As long as they aren't being complete slobs (like to the point of destroying your house), I would suck it up. Come to an agreement with your H to help you clean up after they leave, hire someone if it's really that bad, or redirect them somewhere else (like PP mentioned, go to a restaurant for dinner).
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