I've been having trouble with my sister in law that started before I even married her brother. Her family worships the ground she walks on and she has a very "entitled" personality-- she has been given everything in life-- including the clothes she still wears and her family vacations. Well, it started when we first got engaged. My husband and I each decided we wanted to include our siblings in the wedding party. It was a lot easier for him because he and my brother are actually friends. Well, not so much for me. His sister makes no effort. Well, we asked her together and she made a comment about possibly being pregnant during the wedding. The wedding was 7 months away at that point, and I made it clear that I don't mind having a pregnant bridesmaid, but having one with a newborn wouldn't work. She insisted she wasn't pregnant at the time during "the ask" and that she would be able to participate and contribute to the prewedding events. WELL, she was totally pregnant (liar!).
At the wedding her boobs were popping out of her dress, she didn't show up to any of the prewedding events, and she made the entire day about her and the new baby (who was three months old by that time). She even insisted on bringing the child to her hair appointment saying she couldn't even be away an hour....um yes you can-- she has an able bodied father. They also insisted on staying at our house and we never even got a thank you-- it was our wedding!! As you can imagine, I'm livid and clearly hold grudges despite my best efforts. This is the perfect example of her behavior, though.
Anyways, I've been trying my best to really be a part of her children's lives, but she makes absolutely no effort to make that possible. We have NEVER been allowed to hold the baby-- even after we made a special trip up (drove 8 hours in one day) to see her. I sent her an email the other day to ask about the kids birthday parties because they are two weeks apart and they sandwich the fourth of july. She replied that we weren't invited to the 5 year old's party and that the baby's party will take place after her birthday ON MY BIRTHDAY. We are certainly not cancelling our plans for my birthday to drive up four hours and back four hours for a one year old. I'm so upset. I'm at a loss. I'm trying my best to be a good aunt, but she is making it impossible-- and I honestly cannot stand to be around her-- but I do it for the kids. UGH.
Am I insane? Is there a better way to approach this? I just really dislike her and despite my best efforts, it's not getting any better. UGH.