Sex & Romance
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Happy Vday to me!

So it was around 12:30am Vday already. DH is in his office playing video game. I am in dining room studying for a big license exam. Earlier today I broke the bad news that I got my period. Always happens on special occasions to me! But I said whatever, we can still work around it. Has not always stopped us before! And he agreed.

So I go into his office with coffee to surprise him and say happy valentines day, and I could tell right away he had just masturbated. So I asked him and he said yes, a little while ago, defending himself and saying I had my period. Seriously? I have no problem with his doing this because I get it. He saw himself with slim chances of getting any. And either way he needs no excuse because I know he does it on the daily. But what bothers me is that I was in the next room! What if I would have walked in just 10 minutes earlier and caught him in the act? I would not be comfortable with that. Should I talk to him to establish some boundaries? Would you be ok if this happened to you?

Re: Happy Vday to me!

  • edited February 2014
    What if I would have walked in just 10 minutes earlier and caught him in the act? I would not be comfortable with that. Should I talk to him to establish some boundaries? Would you be ok if this happened to you?

    What happened if you walked in?

    You lend him a hand. That's what you do.:)

    I'd indeed have been okay if it happened to me.:)

    The masturbation issue has been discussed --- and I take it you never have, being you're so against his having one off with himself.

    I suggest you start now -- in a few days, anyway --- and find out what touches turn you on. Then show him.

    Masturbation isn't dirty, or "a sin" or a sign that your mate doesn't find you attractive. It's normal and good for everyone.
    mimiphin
  • We had the talk and I'm not comfortable with walking in on him nor is he! haha! Thankfully he only does it when I'm not home. 

    I think you need to talk and set boundaries, like if you're gonna do it, do it when I'm not home or go to the bathroom. Something like that. 
  • I would be kind of ticked too.  I mean, if you are in the mood, come ask me if I'm home and everything.  I can be pretty giving so it wouldn't be like he 'wouldn't be getting any'.
    image
  • This just happened to me about a month ago.  After some time to cool off, we had the boundary talk.  I told him that it wasn't that I didn't want him to pleasure himself. Its natural! But...when I am right next to him in the other room, thats when I have problems. I let him tell me how he felt about it, and we agreed on a plan.

    Hope you guys can make up!

    MsPiggy37
  • This just happened to me about a month ago.  After some time to cool off, we had the boundary talk.  I told him that it wasn't that I didn't want him to pleasure himself. Its natural! But...when I am right next to him in the other room, thats when I have problems. I let him tell me how he felt about it, and we agreed on a plan.

    Hope you guys can make up!
    So what did he do? resolve not to jerk off while you were on premise???

    You're probably included in the ranks of women who don't masturbate and also do not know what they are missing. Pity.
  • I just don't understand women who get all spun up over their SO masturbating. I don't think they do it because they don't want to be with you, sometimes the timing is just right, you know? Maybe he just had a good round of Call of Duty, or whatever the kids are playing these days. Sometimes it's a stress reliever. Sometimes it's a sleep aid. Sometimes it's to pass the time. And, yes, sometimes it's because they're horny and for some reason they don't want to involve you. As long as it doesn't affect your sex life, I wouldn't worry. I wouldn't want to have to justify every time I rubbed one out. And it's not because I don't want to have sex with DH. Sometimes it's to help me sleep, or relieve stress, or pass the time. You don't want to have to deal with the 3rd degree whenever you masturbate, don't make him do it.
    Also, just remember, whenever he does it, you can do it, too. Just remember to close the door if he's home, if calling each other out on masturbation is what happens in your household.
    [IMG]http://i52.tinypic.com/mmbdis.jpg[/IMG]
    [IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/t6xkxy.jpg[/IMG]
  • Actually I am not one of the "ranks of women".  I am fully aware of the positive reasons to take matters into your own hands so to speak.  For me this incident did affect our sex life because it had diminished.  We tried talking about it a few times before, so when I saw this, I was hurt.  He can do it all he wants.  I just want to be asked to partake.  If and when our sex life gets to be where we are both happy, then I am more than willing to be more open to the idea.  A relationship takes communication. I have no problem communicating my feelings to him about it.  He had his chance to express his feelings.  We came together like adults, came up with a solution that worked for us both, and never looked back.

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