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In law question- honest opinions needed please!!

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Re: In law question- honest opinions needed please!!

  • Awww. She sounds so sweet and sincere in her message! No wonder you hate her!
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    cloudymeatballsEastCoastBrideBulgariHeartTofumonkey
  • Oh, and next time instead of "I am sorry that you choose to improperly recall your facts." I would just stick with "You're a liar." Putting all those extra words in there makes it harder to understand what you're really trying to say.
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  • Girl, you are going to have problems! Your brother is marrying this woman and you know what, the wife comes first!!! As you continue to be such a Bword you will slowly get lower and lower on your Bro's list. I'm just saying!!!! Yes family is family and I know that, but ya know what, his FI will become HIS FAMILY! Good luck on that!

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  • edited January 2014
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  • I like her! Tell her to properly come here!

  • Okay.  After reading the email, SIL is not insecure.  She's asking if you have a problem with her since you made an offer to hand out with your brother's EX in front of her but don't ever ask her to hang out so you can get to know her.  She wants to make sure she hasn't offended you.

    In response you basically told her you don't have time for her (even though you make time for the ex) and that she's too stupid to understand what's happening in front of her and remember it correctly.

    So yeah.  SIL sounds lovely.  You sound horrible.
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  • I appreciate the opinions. She won't really come to any of my events after this exchange. I had found that rather childish considering I have invited her and my brother over for brunch and told her I like her in the above mentioned letter. I have moved past it and I guess just don't see why she hasn't. I can see a lot of people disagree with me however.
  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member
    Ancient Membership 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2014
    Have you apologized for your bad behavior ?

    Why is it hard for you to admit you were wrong ? 


    Tofumonkey

  • bri123abc said:
    I appreciate the opinions. She won't really come to any of my events after this exchange. I had found that rather childish considering I have invited her and my brother over for brunch and told her I like her in the above mentioned letter. I have moved past it and I guess just don't see why she hasn't. I can see a lot of people disagree with me however.
    I don't blame her for not wanting to be around you.  Why should she come over to your house when you make it so abundantly obvious that you don't really want to interact with her?  I can also see how she would interpret your "I like you" email as really insincere.

    She isn't the childish one in this situation.  Based on your posts and the email exchange her concerns are completely valid.  At this point, if you haven't already, you need to sincerely apologize (not like the fake email "apology" that you seem to insist was completely harmless).

    I'm not sure why you are having such a time hard seeing why you are in the wrong here.  Not only was your behavior bad, your attempt to clear things up only made things worse.
    image
  • bri123abc said:
    I appreciate the opinions. She won't really come to any of my events after this exchange. I had found that rather childish considering I have invited her and my brother over for brunch and told her I like her in the above mentioned letter. I have moved past it and I guess just don't see why she hasn't. I can see a lot of people disagree with me however.

    LOL, again. 

     

    YOur letter was basically  "I like you, but I have no time for you and you're dumb"

    I mean, really? 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • I really like the "of course I like you, I bought you presents" part. Well, presents make it all better! In that case, send me some presents and I will change my opinion that you are self centered! :)
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  • Kimbus22 said:

    This post makes me want to slam my head into a wall.  Which is probably how SIL feels when dealing with the OP.

    I'm hoping that Kate clues in and stops worrying about getting along w the op.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • I'm trying to find something here to redeem you, OP, but honestly Kate's efforts and sincerity (which you characterized as oversensitivity and insecurity) make you look bad. And the harder she tries, the worse you look. And she's not even doing it to you - you're doing it to yourself with the way you twist around the things she's done. I think her best move so far has been to distance herself from you, b/c it's less fuel for you to feed on. If you don't have it in you to appreciate anything about this woman, why don't you just let her leave you alone? 

    ...and say goodbye to those future nieces and nephews she was talking about, too...
    Tofumonkey
  • I don't think it was intentional but unfortunately in this case, I think you were insensitive and disrespectful. As a newlywed, you're hungry to be accepted, included and respected by your new family and something like this feels very much like a betrayal.

    Exes should remain that...Exes. They should stay in the past. And when you break up with someone, you break up with the whole family.  

    Your sister-in-law is just protecting her marriage. No wise wife wants her husband to have a access to an ex. There is a danger with you reintroducing his ex back into his life. And don't kid yourself, if you and her become close again, he will have access to her. 

    Even if it wasn't your intentions to hurt her, I would still apologize. It can actually be an opportunity to understand and connect with her. Tell her you want to understand why it hurt her so much. Did she think you were taking a side? Was she worried that your brother my be tempted to reconnect if he saw her again? Sometimes just having a "heart to heart" is the best thing. If you understand what caused the hurt, you can better prevent future problems too
  • I haven't posted on this in ages I know. But a bit of an update. So I never did apologize because (thank you for all your opinions!) I just don't think in my OP I did anything wrong by making plans with someone I like however I did take your advice and ask her to do lunch sometime and she agreed (I admit, I never followed up). Since then, she has bought me a birthday card and gift, and sent me a Happy mother's day and happy anniversary card. I don't do the same for her. I am wondering if this is simply just a nice gesture on her part? Or is she looking for a return favor? What do you think I should do? I do appreciate the honesty of this crowd that's for sure thanks.
  • GilliCGilliC member
    Ancient Membership 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2014
    bri123abc said:
    I haven't posted on this in ages I know. But a bit of an update. So I never did apologize because (thank you for all your opinions!) I just don't think in my OP I did anything wrong by making plans with someone I like however I did take your advice and ask her to do lunch sometime and she agreed (I admit, I never followed up). Since then, she has bought me a birthday card and gift, and sent me a Happy mother's day and happy anniversary card. I don't do the same for her. I am wondering if this is simply just a nice gesture on her part? Or is she looking for a return favor? What do you think I should do? I do appreciate the honesty of this crowd that's for sure thanks.

    You come up with new MUD. This one's all played out. You're basically saying the same things you said before. She's nice to you, you're a bitch to her and flat out avoid spending time with her. Same old, same old.
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  • I think it was wrong to do infront of her. Do you really need to be friends with Lori?  As much as I loved my XBIL, I would never 'hang out' with him.  I would support my sister.
  • bri123abc said:
    I haven't posted on this in ages I know. But a bit of an update. So I never did apologize because (thank you for all your opinions!) I just don't think in my OP I did anything wrong by making plans with someone I like however I did take your advice and ask her to do lunch sometime and she agreed (I admit, I never followed up). Since then, she has bought me a birthday card and gift, and sent me a Happy mother's day and happy anniversary card. I don't do the same for her. I am wondering if this is simply just a nice gesture on her part? Or is she looking for a return favor? What do you think I should do? I do appreciate the honesty of this crowd that's for sure thanks.
    Wow, if this really is a truthful post, then you really are a horrible person.  I have never seen a post with this much lack of sympathy, empathy, and basic common manners in a person before.  


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    wtfdidyousay
  • @dutchgirl76 this is her history.
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