I've posted once on The Knot asking about how to deal with my brother and my cousins wedding. I got amazing feedback and everything turned out ok. So I was hoping that you guys could help me with this new situation. I've been agnostic for awhile and started dating my boyfriend three months ago. While these two things don't seem connect, they both include my brother. I would call my brother and we would talk about how our lives were going, and we both came back home for thanksgiving break. I'm six hours away at school so I don't see my family that much.
I would ask if Nick(brother) would want to hear about my new relationship, because we use to be close. He said no, and that he didn't care so I left it at that. He found out that my boyfriend is eight years older and flipped out. He called my relationship disgusting and that I was ruining my life. Fast forward to that night, he comes home but wants to go out to a friends place. Since he was drinking I offered to drive him because I wanted to make sure he was safe. On the way over to the apartment he finds out that i'm agnostic and refuses to talk to me. We sit in silence until I drop him off at the apartment. The tension is still there when I pick him up. We say nothing to each other and this goes into the next morining. We are all sitting by the table and my mom asks who would like to say grace, nick looks at me and says I would. I tried ignoring this passive aggressive move and let mom say grace. Meanwhile the whole thanksgiving day, he has been ignoring me and sitting in a different room. He goes out again and I pick him up. He then starts screaming at me, asking me why don't I believe in god and how could I do such a thing.
I just ignore him and tell him I'm too tired and theres no way that we will agree on this subject. So that was my thanksgiving holiday, I drove six hours back to school and have barely talked to my brother. The main thing I'm worried about is how Nick will react when my boyfriend comes to visit me in the summer. I know that could be worry about it later subject, but I'm very concerned. My boyfriend is bi-polar, but he takes meds and has good control over it. However, I'm worried that my brother's rudeness, will affect him. I already told him about the whole religion part, but didn't mention how my brother reacted. MY BROTHER is the only one who cares about the age difference, my parents just say as long as he makes me happy. So I guess this is a vent/question.
My question is would you address this issue with your sibling now, or wait until the time comes? I've already defended my relationship and told him he was having a hissy fit. I just don't want my boyfriend to drive all that way to visit me, and have him uncomfortable at my house. And I know with the religion part, I just have to let it be. It just sucks when family screams "but we are family!!" as an excuse to treat each other poorly and with no respect. Thanks for anyone who read this and can offer opinions or advice.