Family Matters
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Gift Ideas for the Inlaws

I don't know what to do about a Christmas gift for my soon-to-be inlaws. They refuse to make a list or give any ideas of what they want and from past Christmases, they seem kind of ungrateful for what we've found for them. I get the feeling that they're expecting us to get them an extremely thoughtful, more expensive gift for them but it's not in our budget to send them on trips or get them big ticket items, nor would I want to even if we did. In my family, we've always gotten each other gifts that are thoughtful but less expensive than what they seem to be after.

I just don't know what to do. This is more of a vent than anything, but if anyone has any suggestions, I'd appreciate it.

Re: Gift Ideas for the Inlaws

  • Do they have any hobbies? You can always give them something related to that. If they are your IL's let FI take the lead here.
  • Ditto, let your FI do the gifts for his family!
  • I've tried to let him but he's not much help because like me, he needs ideas to go off of. I try to come up with thoughtful gifts but he doesn't think they'll like it. Think we'll just get them a gift card to Home Depot or something as they love to renovate. I hate giving gift cards, but I don't have any other ideas. I've tried doing more thoughtful gifts but like I said, they weren't that well received.

    Thanks for your help :)
  • I've always had good luck with a gift card to a nice restaurant. Who knows when the last time they were able to have a 'date' night?

    cloudymeatballs
  • I've learned in more recent years to just let DH pick since he knows their likes more than I do. I know in past years, I've gotten them small things that they may like--my mother in law loves these huge candles that my old workplace used to sell so I got her one of those. My father in law constantly takes a cup of coffee with him so I opted for a new travel mug.

    This year, we are re-gifting. DH and I work for the same company and the president gave each employee gift cards for the local grocery store chain for a Thanksgiving/Christmas gift. We're just giving his parents a few of those cards since they usually rack up a big grocery bill.
    Anniversary
    image
  • I always bake my FIL peanut butter cookies cookies and knit something for my MIL.
  • I baked for them once and they threw it away :( it's not like any of it was burnt or over done either, all the stuff I made was stuff we've been making on my side of the family for years. The other people I gave baking to loved it. Oh well, I think I'll just stop caring and let FH do the shopping. I just love Christmas and love finding gifts that people love but I think I'm wasting my time with them. They haven't been nice to me this last year anyway so I don't know why I'm even caring
  • Yeah, let the FH do the shopping. It's not cool of them to throw away your baked goods.
  • kmj500 said:
    I've tried to let him but he's not much help because like me, he needs ideas to go off of. I try to come up with thoughtful gifts but he doesn't think they'll like it. Think we'll just get them a gift card to Home Depot or something as they love to renovate. I hate giving gift cards, but I don't have any other ideas. I've tried doing more thoughtful gifts but like I said, they weren't that well received. Thanks for your help :)

    So he cannot figure it out, so what.  

    1) they are HIS parents so if HE cannot figure out what to get HIS parents after knowing them HIS entire life, then why does he think that YOU will have a better idea or...should do the work?  
    He is throwing this on you because HE doesn't want to do the work AND 

    2) He is a chickenshit and gets to make YOU the fallguy when YOU don't come up with a gift they like.  At the very least, he can internalize their disappointments as yoru fault and at the worse he is telling them straight out that it is your fault.  

    And in between the two, I am 100% sure there is the implication of and inference of the fact that YOU made the gift choices given the societal propensity for wives taking on the gift buying duty. 

    Hand the job over to him and be done with it.  If he comes back to you for suggestions, throw it back at him "Honey, if YOU, their son cannot figure it out, why the hell do you think I can.  You might want to talk to your mother."  Then bean-dip. 


    [IMG]http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu52/Iluminespics/IMG_4759.jpg[/IMG]
    Disneygeek77cole2144PrincessVegan
  • I really would probably get them a gift card to a restaurant.  We usually pick some new place we have tried and loved and then for xmas will get them the gift card.  They then can go do this on their own when they want to.  And if they end up liking the place then sweet.  And if not their problem.  Lol  I get how it can be difficult and I am usually the one in charge of the gifts.  We usually do this.  Never spend over $100, sometimes we will just do $50. 

    I think it is pretty sad that his parents seem so picky about the gift.  That is what they are is  a gift, and parents are usually pretty open to anything, if any gift at all.  Get them something you think they MAY like. Food is always good.  haha

       Image and video hosting by TinyPicimage image

  • Last year I ordered a handmade box light thingy for my mil. Its one of those glass boxes with christmas lights stuffed inside, bow wrapped around it and i had the lady who makes them write Family across it..it came out really pretty and only cost $25. The year before that I had my sil email me a bunch of family pics old and new from holidays, and put together a recipe book/photo album with silly family sayings and then handmade an apron.

    For my fil I always buy pajamas or a sweater, he likes computer games as well so I will have dh pick one out on occassion. One year I made him cookies with a logo from his favorite game on top and he acted like he loved it.

    If they don't like it, I personally don't really care. I put my time into thoughtful gifts and that's all I care about. If we don't get along that's one thing but I still feel like I should put some effort into it, and use the least amount of cash ;)

    One year all they got me was a gift card and my dh got boxes upon boxes of gifts, it bothered me at first since I had put so much time making them things and it seemed like I was an after thought, but I quickly got over it and don't consider that when I am planning their gifts.
  • kmj500 said:
    First off, I never said that he was MAKING me find a gift for his parents. I love Christmas and love finding the perfect gift for everyone on my list however, we both were having trouble with them in the past. Thanks for ruining this entire conversation with your negativity. And also thanks for calling my fiancé a chicken shit when you know absolutely nothing about him and clearly haven't read anything I've said or just don't understand basic english. This will be entirely worth it to get banned for this...but seriously, go fuck yourself @llumine.
    Aren't you precious.

    Please tell me where my reading comprehension was off.  

    1) You have a set of inlaws that are hard to shop for. 
     
    "They refuse to make a list or give any ideas of what they want and from past Christmases, they seem kind of ungrateful for what we've found for them. I get the feeling that they're expecting us to get them an extremely thoughtful, more expensive gift for them but it's not in our budget to send them on trips or get them big ticket items"

    2) When you went to him to help you shop for his parents, he could not come up with ideas.  

    "I've tried to let him but he's not much help because like me, he needs ideas to go off of. 

    3) And when you DO come up with ideas, he rebuffs them. 

    "I try to come up with thoughtful gifts but he doesn't think they'll like it."

    4) But even though he doesn't like the ideas (ideas for people who you do not know as well) YOU have suggested, you are still on the hook for getting...RIGHT?

    Because if you truly had abdicated this activity/chore you wouldn't be coming to the internet and asking a bunch of strangers what to buy for people they do not know either.

    And the only two reasons why a woman would be this invested at this point is if she is martyring herself or her husband is forcing her hand in some way (be it overtly throwing her under the bus with his family or being too lazy to follow through and guilting you into making sure his family isn't hurt). 

    Either way, the moment your DH turned his nose at your suggestions (which I am sure were well thought out and heartfelt) the job was no longer yours to fulfill.  And I will not apologize for getting angry for you for being put in that position. It is not fair to make you the owner of gift buying for a set of overly sensitive/entitled people who are more than likely not going to like anything you get. 

    IN the end, when they get the wrong gift, who do you think is going to be the one who gets blamed?  

    But hey, I will leave you alone now.  I do sincerely hope you have wonderful and easy holiday. 


    [IMG]http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu52/Iluminespics/IMG_4759.jpg[/IMG]
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