What do you do, as a bride, if the most likely choice for your groom's best man is someone who A. is a total d*ck to you and B. is a d*ck to your fiance, but you can tell he feels like he "has" to?
>a little back story, for what it's worth.
My fiance grew up very closely with his brother. They were always together. After high school, they moved to a different country (long story.) So his brother met a girl there and married her after 3 months of dating to bring her back to the US. This girl "pulled them a part" and caused quite a bit of family drama.
Fast forward a few years, back in the US, my fiance and I meet. We get serious. I meet his family. Brother's wife is very rude and very cold to me. His brother is two faced; when wife is around, he's an a-hole. As soon as she's gone, he *used* to at least fake being nice. For the past few months, he's been rude to both me AND my fiance. Over the past year, my fiance has tried discussing it with him/hashing it out 3 times. It's never worked out.
My fiance is really hurt. It's sad. He's a sad little brother and I know he really wishes his brother could/would be his best man. He's literally cried over missing his brother, but not being able to fix it. We both know for the past few years, he's done NOTHING to deserve being a best man. In fact, it would really upset me. We DO anticipate his parents throwing a fit if my fiance doesn't choose him. I think he might give into the pressure, even if he didn't feel right about it. I, on the other hand, don't have any attachment to his brother and don't want him to be involved. And it's also important that I mention we're close with his parents. We know they're already upset our ceremony will not be religious.
How do we avoid this sh*tstorm as well?