Sex & Romance
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Anal?

My boyfriend currently wants to try anal...any tips?

Re: Anal?

  • foreplay, foreplay, foreplay.... and lube. lots of it lol

    the best advice I can give is to do everything you can to relax and get ready... perhaps have him use his fingers first to ease into it. I personally can't relax enough unless I have a bullet or something to take my mind off of it. It feels good and weird at the same time, so a lot of times the weird overrides the good for me, hence the need for a distraction ;)
    rikimarie123IceHide61313
  • If you haven't yet, start with something small... Fingers, beads, butt plug, etc. I wouldn't recommend starting off with an actual penis. When you're ready, you're in control. You control the speed, how deep, etc. Ralk about this beforehand. It's important you're able to relax and be comfortable and you need to be in charge of the experience to make it happen. And lots if lube. Keep it on hand as he may need to reapply.
  • Does he want to try it on you or does he want you to try it on him? And either way, are you even remotely interested? It's okay to say no thanks. I am given to understand it tends to feel better for men, since they actually have something there to be stimulated. It's one thing for you or he to be curious about how it feels, and quite another for him to want to try something he's seen in a porno, so I'm curious about the rest of the conversation here.
  • If you don't like the idea, say no.
  • Don't rush.  Start with 1 finger and keep increasing fingers slowly until you're at about his size.  When you first start make sure it stays SHALLOW and slowly increase depth.  Slow slow slow!  You may at a point want to just get it over with (I know I always do) but trust me, it will be a lot better for you to take it slow.
  • no thanks, that's a non entry hole for me
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    ejpentecost
  • MW had to be drunk and we used a lot of anal lube to help numb her down.  It still ended up hurting her too much so we stopped doing it.  The one thing that we could have done better is more foreplay.
  • Wulfgar said:
    MW had to be drunk and we used a lot of anal lube to help numb her down.  It still ended up hurting her too much so we stopped doing it.  The one thing that we could have done better is more foreplay.
    It hurt because you were doing it wrong. Getting drunk is not on the list of steps toward good anal. That's the first step to getting injured. Sheesh!

    Reposting my safe anal advice from an earlier nest thread:

    OMG. Before you go off on bad advice, let's start with the basics.

    Your body is plenty capable of having a penis in your butt without pain. It stretches when you poop and that isn't excruciating! To get there you need LOTS AND LOTS of build up. I don't mean 10 minutes of foreplay, I mean foreplay, some oral sex, maybe an orgasm or two, then start with the anal play. Your body takes a REALLY long time to relax physically so you can enjoy the sensations rather than be in pain.

    USING DESENSITIZING LUBE CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS!!!!! [8/28/13 EDIT: Getting drunk is even more dangerous] You need to be able to feel what's going on to protect your body. Don't do it this terrible way.

    To actually get penetrated I'd recommend starting with a finger (I prefer latex or nitrile gloved, well lubed, fingers - grocery and drug stores sell boxes of these gloves). The gloves help with cleanliness (you just throw them away after) as well as protecting you from fingernail abrasions.  The recipient (you) gets to set the pace. The penetrator should gently rub around the anus before any penetration. If you want to also rub your clit at the same time it helps keep your body relaxed and engaged. If your partner keeps their finger still you can move your body onto it SLOWLY. You are setting the pace! You decide what feels good and embrace it, or back off if it doesn't feel good. Breathe a lot. Go slow. Relax. This way you are least likely to hurt yourself and have a negative experience.

    Having anal sex is pretty much the same thing. Lots of build up, go slow, TONS of lube, and the recipient moves their body onto a condom-covered penis (good for cleanup and STI protection!). Some people find they really like the sensation and can then add more movement (penis moving in and out), but ALL THIS MOVEMENT has to be initiated by the recipient. 

    A middle ground step is using a vibrator for anal penetration. If you're going to re-use it EVER on your vagina you need to cover it with a condom for cleanliness. Period. This sensation can be very pleasurable with a second vibrator or partner having vaginal penetrative sex.

     

    reminders - you can never use too much lube

    if you think you're going slow enough, go even slower

    This is olympic level sex and should be done with partners you trust who love you enough to be kind/patient/gentle 

    blueobsidianDreamergirl8812
  • The previous posters had good advice. For my DH and I its all about going slow. LOTS of foreplay and LOTS of lube. Start with fingers, then "toys", then his penis. I like it when I lay on my stomach and use a bullet, it keeps me relaxed and from tensing up.

    I love it when we do it (which isn't very often) but the key is just going slow and taking your time. My DH is very gentle and perceptive, and I call the shots.
  • If you aren't interested, don't do it! Personally, I don't understand why so many guys are into it, when it's often not enjoyable or downright painful for the woman. And when we have a perfectly lovely place that was designed for a penis to enter. It seems like there's way more of a focus on sex for a man's pleasure than a woman's. That being said, if it's something you think you would enjoy (not just tolerate or bear for your partner's sake), give it a try.
  • ARE YOU KIDDING? MY LESBIAN WIFE AND I ENGAGE IN ANAL EVERY NIGHT, WITH HER ON HER HANDS AND KNEES OR HANDS GRABBUNG THE BEDPOSTS AS I ENTER HER AND PLUNGE DEEP INTO HER AS HARD AND DEEP AS I CAN WITH A STRAP ON, I USE A LARGE DILDO TO FUCK HER IN HER PUSSY WHILE I'M FUCKING HER ASS, AND I INSERT ANOTHER DILDO IN HER MOUTH AND SHE LOVES IT, YOU NEED TO TRY IT
    Leftie22 said:
    If you aren't interested, don't do it! Personally, I don't understand why so many guys are into it, when it's often not enjoyable or downright painful for the woman. And when we have a perfectly lovely place that was designed for a penis to enter. It seems like there's way more of a focus on sex for a man's pleasure than a woman's. That being said, if it's something you think you would enjoy (not just tolerate or bear for your partner's sake), give it a try.

  • My DH tried many times and was very interested when we were dating. I gave it a go but really really did not enjoy it. Turns out he was pushing for it bc he does and didn't know how to bring it up. We are much more open about likes and dislikes after 5+ years and it also turns out I enjoy doing that to him. He's not crazy about anything larger than my finger though so if this is the case with your man go slow and don't rush out and buy him anything.

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  • ARE YOU KIDDING? MY LESBIAN WIFE AND I ENGAGE IN ANAL EVERY NIGHT, WITH HER ON HER HANDS AND KNEES OR HANDS GRABBUNG THE BEDPOSTS AS I ENTER HER AND PLUNGE DEEP INTO HER AS HARD AND DEEP AS I CAN WITH A STRAP ON, I USE A LARGE DILDO TO FUCK HER IN HER PUSSY WHILE I'M FUCKING HER ASS, AND I INSERT ANOTHER DILDO IN HER MOUTH AND SHE LOVES IT, YOU NEED TO TRY IT


    Can't get out of the box, but there is no way in hell you are really a woman. You are a man obsessed with badly made girl-on-girl porn.
  • Poor sexymamma17 must have been dropped on his head several times as a child.
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