Ive posted before on this very topic but its at the forefront again. Im newly married, about a year and half. I relocated 4 hours from my parents to where my husband is from for a variety of reasons- educational, financial, ect. It was VERY difficult for me to do this but I did it mainly b/c in my heart I knew for our family (my husband, me and whatever children may come into our life down the road) it was the best path. My father has Parkinson's and while he is doing well my mother is his primary caretaker in the sense he doesn't drive, often forgets his meds (she reminds him) and she really gets him out and about, if it weren't for her he would probably be at home all day doing nothing.
Our plan, if work allows it, is to move closer to them but my husband reminds me moving is contingent on jobs...and I get that but it scares me to think we could stay in this area. I hate it. We have another 3 years here at least before he can get out of a contract with his job. The move was way more challenging than I thought, I feel guilty about not being able to help my mom, I left a job I really loved and have yet to make any girlfriends that I connected with in my new location. My husband feels guilty when he sees me so sad but reminds me it was a joint decision, we both agreed I would move and he is right. I feel like I can be neglectful of him, I def. go home (to my parents) a lot to try and check in on them and still see friends/relatives. I did this without him for a while b/c he had grad classes on the weekends but he has since graduated so we have weekends back. I worry so much about my parents...I have a brother that lives in Europe so its really just me that can help them. I cant seem to get over the hump and accept this is my life for now. My husband said to me the other day that he and I are a family now and we should be the #1 priority always. I agree but at the same time, when we are healthy and young and financially ok I feel like the aging parents that need help trump us sometimes. Are my priorities skewed? I want to be all things to all people- a great wife to my husband, not the crying one that hates where she lives and feels guilt about not helping her parents...the great daughter than can take dad to a doct appointment or take mom to lunch and give her a break. Ugh. Anyone else out there feel like this? Its tough b/c I dont even have kids yet and we do want them..by then, my dad's illness will be worse and infants and children will make it even harder to drive 4 hours at the drop of a dime if something happens.