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NEED OPINIONS PLEASE! I'm fuming about invitations!

Ok, in a nut shell:

I live in NY (where the majority of the invites would be going), and my mom lives across the country. I gave her the task of getting the invitations and printing/sending them. I approved the design and had faith that she would print them professionally (like she said she would). Well, a week or two later she texts me a picture of a DIFFERENT design that already has our info printed on it. I looked at it quickly as I was extremely busy at the time and thought, "It's pretty". When I finally saw the finished product (after ALL OF THEM were delivered), I thought....omg. It's BEDAZZLED!!! BEDAZZLED!?!?!? She failed to mention that this DIY kit would entail putting on a strip of "crystals", (her term). They are cheap looking rhinestones. Ok....they are so not in a straight line. Also, her printing wasn't centered perfectly. I am so mad typing this right now I could scream. I called her and yelled at her so bad that we didn't speak for 3 days. Not only did she embarrass me with the invites, she's been "making" all kinds of other things for the wedding, which is 11/2/13. I won't even go into that right now....her arts and crafts.

My question is this....

Since the invites already went out, the damage is done. That still doesn't take away from the fact that this is a CLASSY and ELEGANT wedding. She thinks they look fabulous. I was contemplating posting a pic. I think I will. Anyway, I am so mad my head is spinning. What can I do to rectify this? Not with her, we are fine now (so she thinks). I'll be mad for a while. I guess I'm wondering, since I didn't send a save the date thing (we started planning everything in early July of this year), can I send those now? Is there a way to do it that won't seem silly? I want our first impressions to be a lot better than this.

PLEASE HELP!!!!!!

Re: NEED OPINIONS PLEASE! I'm fuming about invitations!

  • Nope, no need for save the dates.  I know it is  very frustrating now, but one day you will look back and laugh. 

    Trust me, people will remember the wedding, not the invites. 

  • Bridezilla. 

    Okay, what is your wedding about really? Being a princess for a day and having the "perfect" wedding production or about celebrating being with your spouse? 

    I'm sure no one cares about the way the invitations look. 
    Tofumonkey
  • This won't end the way you think it will.

    Your mother is helping you for your wedding. Nothing is perfect unless you pay for it to be that way. She is doing these by hand. STFU. I bet she also paid for them. Again, STFU.

    A wedding is about marriage. It doesn't matter about anything else except you are marrying a good guy. All the rest is BS. I don't keep invitations to things unless it's mine or my kids. No one cares but YOU. So calm the fuck down.

    If I was your mother, I'd stop doing anything for you including paying for your wedding. It's a day, the rest of your life with your groom is the actual point of getting married. It's not, OMG my mom RUINED my Klassy, Elegant wedding with bedazzled invites!! RAGE. KILL. HURT. Get it together an act classy, then your wedding will be.
    Tofumonkey
  • If you knew your mom was into "arts and crafts," which I assume translates into "not fancy or high brow enough for NY," why did you ask her for her help in the first place?

    Also, I didn't read anything in this post about you providing some design direction for her to follow when doing these invites. Did you set parameters? Give color or font ideas? Provide a list of things NOT to include (ex: rhinestones)? If you didn't and if you left it totally up to her to choose, then the fault is yours. Sorry.

    Also, did you post this on TK and get accused of being a Bridezilla? So, then you came to TN expecting a different response?

    Echoing PPs, no one cares about the invite. What they will remember will be the music and food.

     

     

     

  • I'm laughing....not at you, but because this whole thing with the invites reminds me of that scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

    Tula and Ian had their heart set on one thing...and her parents picked out quite another.

    I would let this go, if I were you.

    What matters:

    That your guests get the info and they show up at the right place at the right time.  Doesn't matter *who* did the invitations. It'll turn out okay.
  • You're a bridezilla. I got nothing else.
  • Have these bedazzled invites actually been mailed?  Or do you still have them at your house?  Your OP is unclear.

    If they haven't gone out, don't mail them.  Pay for new ones to be done.  If they have gone out, giggle about it over wine with your friends and let it go.

    Take a deep breath and ask yourself "Will this matter to anyone in 50 years?"   You will be married to your husband, your mother will be dead and you will be riding in a flying car.  I assure you that the invites will be a funny joke at your silver anniversary party.  

    (Now personally, I would not want a bedazzled invitation to be seen by my great-grandkids and have them think that this was my taste.  So I would likely redo the invitations because that is just the kind of person I am.  But I am a little nutty.)

    sapphireblue
  • There is nothing classy or elegant about throwing a massive hissy fit because someone tried to do something nice for you and didn't do it up to your standards.

    No one gives nearly as much of a shit about your wedding as you.  No one cares if your invitations are carved in italian marble or glue gunned pipe cleaners.

    Let this go and apologize to your mom for being ridiculous.  You're getting married, not producing the Oscar telecast.
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    EastCoastBrideTofumonkey
  • Kimbus22 said:

    There is nothing classy or elegant about throwing a massive hissy fit because someone tried to do something nice for you and didn't do it up to your standards.

    No one gives nearly as much of a shit about your wedding as you.  No one cares if your invitations are carved in italian marble or glue gunned pipe cleaners.

    Let this go and apologize to your mom for being ridiculous.  You're getting married, not producing the Oscar telecast.

    Basically this. Would I want these invitations? No. But in the grand scheme, this is so NOT important.
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • Kimbus22 said:

    There is nothing classy or elegant about throwing a massive hissy fit because someone tried to do something nice for you and didn't do it up to your standards.

    No one gives nearly as much of a shit about your wedding as you.  No one cares if your invitations are carved in italian marble or glue gunned pipe cleaners.

    Let this go and apologize to your mom for being ridiculous.  You're getting married, not producing the Oscar telecast.

    Basically this. Would I want these invitations? No. But in the grand scheme, this is so NOT important.
    I agree with this. Yes, it does suck when something you envision for your big day doesn't go the way you expect it to, but you just have to take a step back, deep breath, then let it go. I also think having good people around you to slap you back to reality when you have those bridezilla moments would help, OP. Deep breath, then calm down.

  • There is a saying  "if you want something done right, do it yourself".

     

    catmiss9
  • If you want things exactly the way you want them, then do it yourself.

    You need to check your attitude. You should be caring way more about getting married than the wedding being perfect.
    image image
  • You can't ask your mother to help you with something as big as invitations and then throw a fit about what she does. You should have done them with the rest of the invites. You are acting extremely selfish
    [url=http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thenest.com/tickers/tt181f95.aspx[/img][/url]
  • You can't ask your mother to help you and expect things to go your way. I also have a somewhat overbearing mother, but I told her I would handle planning the wedding myself. Made it very clear. I did everything, invitations, decorations, etc... I had no help from anyone so if I got mad at anyone, it would be myself. 

    But since you asked and you knew she was into arts and crafts, I'm assuming, then this shouldn't have been a surprise. Also yelling and screaming at her was rather inconsiderate given she did all that work for you. I would hate to be your mother right now. 

    If the invitations have been sent, there's nothing you can do, if not, use the ones you want and don't ask your mother to help you.
  • You've completely lost perspective. What you should be worrying about right now is whether your bratty childish cr*p is going to permanently screw up your relationship with your mother (and likely your friends, maybe even future husband). This is ONE STUPID PARTY that no one cares about but you. Your mother loves you so much she's paying and making things for you and are treating her terribly. If I were her I'd be ashamed I raised such a childish brat and very embarrassed at your behavior. Sheesh.
    Tofumonkey
  • Well, some of you had kinder ways of giving your opinion. This is the first time I posted here (it was a mistake), I actually thought I was on The Knot. I am not a diva, and I don't appreciate this kind of feedback. Maybe it seemed like I was being bratty, but in reality, I'm just frustrated that she didn't communicate the whole "bedazzling" part of the invitation. I appreciate the work she did, but it did not turn out how I thought it would. No need for the harsh words towards me, you don't know me, so don't make judgements on my character. I was simply asking for a suggestion to help me feel better. Obviously I didn't care THAT much if I put her in charge of it in the first place. Bridezilla? Haha...I couldn't be FARTHER from that. What's with the swearing?? That's really not necessary. Please don't comment on this anymore. I can't delete it, but I really wish I could.
  • Do you know how the Internet actually works?!?

    LMAO

    Go back to the Knot and get your hair pats, Bridzilla. You are a Bridezilla start owning it.
    arhayden1Tofumonkey
  • Uhmmm did you actually read what you first posted?  Go back and read it and tell us how you didn't come across like a brat.

    Women with an ounce of compassion, grace, character and CLASS don't " yell so bad that they didn't talk for 3 days" ( your own words ) over invitations.  That simply doesn't happen.  A true lady would have shrugged it off and taken it as a lesson learned. 

    catmiss9
  • Look your all kind of crazy. She came here looking for advice. You know you can be honest without sounding like a bunch of women who do nothing then sit waiting for your next victim. The girl was upset HOW DARE SHE DO THAT. Weddings make people nutty, they can get stressful with so many different personalities involved. That being said, Hun don't let it get to you. For real the invites are the last thing anyone talks about. Its paper and chances are you are the only one who will want to keep it. 

    Breath, remind yourself that after all this craziness you will have the love of your life forever. I can tell you the moment I walked into the room and saw my best friend at the end waiting, nothing else mattered. I no longer cared the caters messed up, the best man was late, or that I had lost my voice. Looking at your partner as you walk down will literally be all you can see. 

    Hope your day is truly special. 
  • You still didn't answer my question:  Have the invitations been mailed?
  • I'd let this go. You are bound to piss off your mother and man, I'd not blame her --- time and trouble went into those invitations.

    Let this go, as I said ---- it isn't any big deal.
  • I would have to agree with "If you want something done right, do it yourself." I'm not sure why you would have her do the invites in her side of the country. You're having them all printed and done anyway, why split it up? I guess that doesn't really matter at this point. To answer your actual question, do not send save the dates at this point. Too late for that. It sounds like you didn't care too much about anyone but your NY people and that's why you pawned this off on Mom. If you're looking to impress with CLASSY and ELEGANT. You're worried about the wrong thing. You will feel really bad about how you treated your mom when you grow up and realize what others think shouldn't be the focus.
  • It doesn't "seem" bratty.  It is.  And we can only judge you based on what you put out there for us to read.  So if you don't like how you're being perceived, take a look at what you're telling us.

    You told us you threw a fit about bedazzling.  Literally.  That is what you told us.  What are we supposed to say?

    Also, fuckety fuck fuck fuck, just because cursing is still the only thing I like about the new format.
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    MLE2010catmiss9
  • You are right.  we really should all apologize.  You're definitely not a bridezilla.

    Ok....they are so not in a straight line. Also, her printing wasn't centered perfectly. I am so mad typing this right now I could scream. I called her and yelled at her so bad that we didn't speak for 3 days. Not only did she embarrass me with the invites,

    Since the invites already went out, the damage is done. That still doesn't take away from the fact that this is a CLASSY and ELEGANT wedding.

    I am so mad my head is spinning. What can I do to rectify this? Not with her, we are fine now (so she thinks). I'll be mad for a while.

    DEFINITELY not bridezilla. 

     

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

    catmiss9Tofumonkey
  • If the invitations did NOT go out, do then over.
    When you have someone do a favor for you, don't get so upset of it doesn't go exactly as planned. My MIL threw us a second reception due to so many out of staters who couldn't drive 7 hours to my home state. I asked her if she could order me thank you cards to match her invites. She botched the order, totally misunderstood what I wanted. It wasn't on purpose. I sucked it up and USED them. I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
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  • Have these bedazzled invites actually been mailed?  Or do you still have them at your house?  Your OP is unclear.

    If they haven't gone out, don't mail them.  Pay for new ones to be done.  If they have gone out, giggle about it over wine with your friends and let it go.

    Take a deep breath and ask yourself "Will this matter to anyone in 50 years?"   You will be married to your husband, your mother will be dead and you will be riding in a flying car.  I assure you that the invites will be a funny joke at your silver anniversary party.  

    (Now personally, I would not want a bedazzled invitation to be seen by my great-grandkids and have them think that this was my taste.  So I would likely redo the invitations because that is just the kind of person I am.  But I am a little nutty.)

    Not trying to be snarky.  Has anyone actually seen their great grandparents' invites?  Or even their grandparents'?  Hell, I didn't see my parent's until I was engaged.
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