BNOTB
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Newbie here -- just saying HI!

Hey all,

I'm new to these boards and the knot/nest in general.  I was always a little hesitant to post as I feel like an outsider, since I'm not quite as close to 'settling down' as a lot of posters seem to be. 

I got incredibly excited when I saw this board, though, and I'm hoping I can make myself comfy here.  :)  I've never been interested in having kids of my own thus far in my life, and have felt pretty isolated for that fact, especially as most of my close friends have kids.  So I love that there is an entire board dedicated to people who feel the same way or at the very least who don't feel the baby urge yet. :)  

I can already feel the understanding oozing out of this place! lol


Re: Newbie here -- just saying HI!

  • the board isnt super active but welcome! And welcome to the nest!  DH & I are heavily leaning towards no kids at all or if we do it will be late in the game.  Im def in the no kids camp.
    imageimage
  • Maybe I just haven't looked at the right boards yet, but it seems that not too many are very active.  But that's OK because I don't get on for long periods of time anyway :)

    and thanks for the welcome! i can understand the late in the game approach.  i'm not married yet, but the BF and I have discussed it.. neither of us wants kids, but we both agreed that IF we felt the urge, by the time we'd ever want them, we'd probably be too old to actually have them lol
  • Hello there, and welcome to The Nest!


    Be sure to follow The Nest on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest!
  • ewill7911ewill7911 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited August 2013
    Maybe I just haven't looked at the right boards yet, but it seems that not too many are very active.  But that's OK because I don't get on for long periods of time anyway :)

    and thanks for the welcome! i can understand the late in the game approach.  i'm not married yet, but the BF and I have discussed it.. neither of us wants kids, but we both agreed that IF we felt the urge, by the time we'd ever want them, we'd probably be too old to actually have them lol
    Take a look at the nest book club. I hangout on there... and welcome!
    :-B
    ~E~
  • ewill7911 said:
    Maybe I just haven't looked at the right boards yet, but it seems that not too many are very active.  But that's OK because I don't get on for long periods of time anyway :)

    and thanks for the welcome! i can understand the late in the game approach.  i'm not married yet, but the BF and I have discussed it.. neither of us wants kids, but we both agreed that IF we felt the urge, by the time we'd ever want them, we'd probably be too old to actually have them lol
    Take a look at the nest book club. I hangout on there... and welcome!
    :-B
    i will! thanks :)
  • Hi Gals,
    I'm a newbie, too - I joined the Knot when we were planning our wedding but I never quite got into the swing of the boards. I pinned some recipes that were from the Nest and it got me poking around again! We're celebrating our five-year anniversary (it has flown by!) next month and we are definitely DINKs. I liked reading the posts here and glad to see I'm in good company with other people who have lots of friends with kids. Sometimes I feel like there's something wrong with me because I don't have the urge to have a child. I wonder what it feels like to have that craving! But then again, the total lack of the feeling just reinforces to me that it's who I am. Anyway, to each her own! So I think I'll swing by when I need some non-mom talk! I'll check out the book club page, too. I love reading, animals, vegetarian cooking, road trips, bargain hunting, and gardening on our little plot of land just north of Boston. Here's to a happy last few weeks of summer! :-)
    chrisnjay05212010
  • @MrMrs- welcome!!!! I have those same no craving what is wrong with me thoughts.  We've been married 3 years and are planning on being DINKS too.  My friends are just starting to have kids and while i think they are cute, i always say in my head, thank god its not me! Do you guys have any pets? 
    imageimage
  • edited August 2013
    Welcome MrMrs!! For a long time I thought I was the only one who never felt the urge. I feel a lot better now... my Aunt never had kids (I never really realized that it was probably due to the same lack-of-wanting as me until I was older) and all the women in my department are childless childfree ;).  It makes me feel a lot better about not wanting and reinforces that I can have an awesome and successful life without kids.

    I have two kitties.  One of my cats is more like a dog... he loves his belly scratched, rough play, and he drinks out of the toilet if we leave the seat up.  So it's kind of the best of both worlds :) they are spoiled rotten, but I love them to death. I am totally a (kind of!) crazy cat lady. 
  • It does help to have other people and examples of "going against the norm" -- I like the childfree (instead of childless!) distinction! There are currently three pregnant women in my office and while I am happy for them, I have the same thought as you, Chrisnjay: I'm glad it's not me! My theory is that some people are always looking to "do the next thing." Some friends went right from college to grad school because being in school was all they knew. Of course some people need to pursue advanced degrees but there are other people that default into it. Likewise, some people are programmed to think that getting married and having kids is what you do. I guess the only part that bothers me about it is when people think that it must be the right thing for everyone. It would never occur to me to question someone for having a different color car than I have. So why question that my family looks different? Luckily I'm not exposed to much pressure, though. It comes up now and again but not as much as what some of you are faced with. I have a bunch of reasons for not wanting kids -- the financial strain would be too much (Did you see the recent statistic that it costs and average of 277,000 to raise a kid to age 18 in the northeast?! That doesn't even include college!) Another reason is that we don't have many family members around and while I realize that plenty of people raise children without family help, I know I would miss that support and help. Also, I'm a little terrified of all the medical things that could go wrong. There's so much at stake and I know myself to know that I'm not well-equipped to handle the stress and struggle that goes along with coping with a defect or disability. It's such a big risk and I'd rather be a sidelines supporter (helping friends and family with their kids and stuff) than take the gamble myself. Lastly, I am really happy with my husband and don't feel like something is missing. We don't have any pets currently, although we love animals and I often told our dog that I loved him a lot more than most people! I'd love to get a cat that thinks he's a dog :o3 since it seems like the best of both worlds -- great companion but also independent!
    I hope this isn't TMI since it's only my second post, but I'll put it all out there: sometimes, I wonder what it feels like to be pregnant. Forget the things it does to your body, forget the birthing part, I just wonder what it feels like. Maybe there are other people out there that get pregnant for that reason, not thinking ahead to the kid part?!
    Anyway, thanks for making me feel welcome! Is there a way to know if someone posts to a thread or do you just have to check back to see the status?
    Thanks!
  • @MrMrs i think if you check your notifications settings (little tiny globe on top right hand side of the page) you can change it to email you wen someone replies to a post)

    you arent alone in the what does it feel like camp- ive thought about that too, but all the other stuff that comes with it is way to scary to risk it hahahah  And i totally love my dog more than some people. i may even be slightly obsessed with him :\">
    imageimage
  • I've wondered what it would be like if i got pregnant unexpectedly... the idea scares the you-know-what out of me, but I wonder if I would suddenly change my tune and be super excited to have a kid or if I'd freak out and consider adoption or something.  But the more I think about that, the more I freak myself out haha

    I don't think I'm equipped to handles the stresses either!! I babysit for my friends kids sometimes, and one got sick recently. I could barely stay in the room with him because the second he started throwing up or crying, I just couldn't handle it. All I could get out was 'ummm... i'll be right back... stay here...' and I'd hang out in the kitchen for a minute and go back in to comfort him, freak out and leave again!  

    So many people say "its different when it's your own kid" but a part of me feels like women who are 'meant' to be mothers have SOME sort of instinct in this regard, right? Not, sorry kid take care of yourself!! lol
  • My sister has 4 kids. I'm all sorts of not wanting that for myself. Happy for her, it's just not for me. I have my dog and that is enough!
    chrisnjay05212010
  • @sillygirl45 -- you're lucky to be an aunt to 4 kids! My sister doesn't have any kids and she's not sure if she wants them. She's not in a long-term relationship so it's not even very likely right now. Who knows what the future holds for her. I'd actually love if she had a kid because I could be a cool aunt and be close to the kid. My in-laws have two boys and my husband is great with them but they are bratty kids! I am not so close with them, partly because I don't know how to act with them. They spend all of their time negotiating with the kids and bargaining for them to eat a vegetable, go to bed, stop hitting. I realize that one little slice of family life doesn't equal all situations, but it's enough that we leave their house and just feel so free and relieved and certain of our child-free life. @QueenofHearts, I'm sorry but your story made me laugh! I would have acted the exact same way. Yeah I wonder what it would be like to be pregnant (same way I used to wonder what it felt like to be drunk!) But not inclined for that lifestyle at all. Speaking of that, I think it's time for some wine ... :-)
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards