Relationships
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Different Kinds of Love

I have been in a few serious relationships in my lifetime and I feel like I have loved all the men, but in different ways.  Like in one relationship, the love was passionate and physical.  The next was more of a friendship/companionship type of love.  The relationship I am in now is with an older guy and I feel like it is a very secure, comforting relationship.  Do other people feel this way too?  I mean, obviously every guy you date will be very different... but I just haven't realize till now that the kind of "love" I have been seeking in these different relationships has changed and I have been getting something different from every man.

Re: Different Kinds of Love

  • I think there are diff. kinds of love for sure...but I found that I had all those loves rolled into one with my DH if that makes any sense...I love him as my husband, lover, best friend, and all the above.

    But yes, I have friends that I "love" and I have had different variances of love in my ex's. 

    Regardless all these relationships are important to me....as for DH, I just didn't think I would have everything rolled into one...it is nice!

  • It is always very interesting to look back and analize old relationships with out the emotional break up feelings. 

    I understand what you are saying that you have gotten different "loves" from different men.  I too, have recognized this in my past relationships.  The other, and in my mind most important, is the love that I have for myself.  What I mean is, when I was younger, I didn't even like my own body and was in relationships that weren't the most healthy because of it.  Now that I have matured and made positive decisions, I love my body, my life and my self.  I believe that this balance was nesscary before I was able to love with my whole heart.  Once that was possible, hello husband!  I always say that if my DH and I had met any earlier in our lives, neither one of us would have been ready and it wouldn't have worked. 

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • image Katew8667:
      The relationship I am in now is with an older guy and I feel like it is a very secure, comforting relationship. 

    Watch out for this.  You don't sound very passionate about this person - you don't have to save your serious relationships for people who are "comforting." 

    You only marry the guy that has EVERYTHING you want, because after a few, 10, 20 years, it all starts to fade anyway, at times.  Never settle.

  • image northtamarack:

    It is always very interesting to look back and analize old relationships with out the emotional break up feelings. 

    I understand what you are saying that you have gotten different "loves" from different men.  I too, have recognized this in my past relationships.  The other, and in my mind most important, is the love that I have for myself.  What I mean is, when I was younger, I didn't even like my own body and was in relationships that weren't the most healthy because of it.  Now that I have matured and made positive decisions, I love my body, my life and my self.  I believe that this balance was nesscary before I was able to love with my whole heart.  Once that was possible, hello husband!  I always say that if my DH and I had met any earlier in our lives, neither one of us would have been ready and it wouldn't have worked. 

     

    I'm rather w/ OMG here...

    'comforting' and 'secure' are nice words but I've found that different people mean them in different ways...

    when my baby-sister next calls me and says she's in a secure and comforting relationship w/ an older man (and I expect to have this phone call again) I will assume it'll mean what it's meant in the past...that she's in a controlling but mostly drama-free relationship w/ someone who treats her like he's her father instead of being a partner.

    There's nothing wrong w/ cataloging what's good and what's...mediocre about a relationship; Mr. GBCK is wonderful and my perfect parnter but he does have X, Y and Z problems/annoying habits/etc.  But at the same time, I can say that I have the comfortable relationship AND the passionate relationship AND the friendship AND the *insert ideal I've forgotten here* relationship...all in the same person.  if I didn't have ALL of those, it wouldn't be the right relationship.

  • Yep. Normal. Love is pretty much a construct to describe a variety of feelings and not everyone inspires all the feelings. FI definitely combines passion and companionship well, but not so much the security and that's the combo I prefer. An Interpersonal Communications class could go into more detail of the love triangle, but there it is: ideal partners tend to combine the most sides of it.
    image
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